SerenDRIPity

For What It's Worth...

2012-01-26T17:48:00.000-08:00

...I don't take my own advice.

I'm seeing the girl who disappeared for a week. So far, so awesome.

We'll see what transpires, I guess, but I'm enjoying it while it lasts.

Lessons in Sketch

2012-01-20T11:21:00.000-08:00

First, let me give myself plaudits for the physical attributes of the women I've been dating. I am definitely attracting beautiful women. Yay for me.

However, I've not allowed their stunning looks to override my male intuition. Yay for me, again.

Two lessons I've learned:

1. "I've never dated anyone like you. You're so hot. You look like that guy who plays Kirk in the new Star Trek. My friends say you're a keeper. Etcetera."

....when they say that, it may be time to run. Because when I don't, they do it first. Honestly, though, it's probably my fault. These compliments are soon followed by daily calls to "come over and hang out," and "hey what are u doing?" to which, I'm ashamed to admit, I fail to say "No." and "I'm busy."

I seem to forget the availability kills mystery - and killing mystery (at ANY point in the relationship) kills everything.

2. At the first sign of sketchiness - run.

I dated a girl twice and she disappeared for a month. For some reason, I decided to call her again after that month - and we dated for the next 4 months. Seems great, right? Except it turned out she was a totally self-absorbed young woman - a fact made evident when she disappeared the first time (she blamed that on me, by the way).

I dated another girl who did something similar - she was all over me, then disappeared only to come back when she found out I was behind a bar again. That was a fire-filled two weeks of receiving constant texts, pictures, hanging out and fooling around... followed by a swift disappearance.

If I had just paid attention to the signs in the beginning, I'd have saved myself trouble.

Next time maybe I'll learn.

Back? Why not!

2012-01-17T06:58:00.000-08:00

Hi Team... Team!

I'm back for a quick post. Lots has changed - I'm in Houston now in an awesome new apartment with a great new job - and almost done with graduate school. I'm 26 now. Getting... old.

Living in the "Big" city has changed things. Women are different here. This is what I've learned in the past six months of dating:

1. It's not worth waiting 5 1/2 months for a commitment from a woman. Or for sex, for that matter. I turned down a whole bunch of opportunity for a girl who ended up being a waste of time.

2. When a girl says "Don't be mad at me if I disappear for two weeks..." Well, don't be surprised if she disappears. Literally.

Other than that, in addition to my corporate slavery and academic pursuits - I is back behind a bar, slingin' drinks.

Best,

Parad0x

John Mayer

2010-09-07T10:12:00.001-07:00

Saw him in Dallas this weekend - SUPER epic.

John Mayer, it's official - you have now gotten me laid more than anyone else has, ever.

Even myself.

Roald Dahl

2010-08-12T07:48:00.000-07:00

With the recent passing of his wife have come some interesting tales of Roald Dahl - you may remember him as the author of James and the Giant Peach and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

He seems to have suffered several bouts of bad luck. I've excerpted the most chilling part of the story I read today, a description of the day his young daughter passed:

Awful drive. Lorries kept holding us up on narrow roads. Got to hospital. Ambulance went to wrong entrance. Backed out. Arrived. Young doctor in charge. Mervyn and he gave her 3mg sodium amatol. I sat in hall. Smoked. Felt frozen. A small single bar electric fire on wall. An old man in next room. Woman doctor went to phone. She was trying urgently to locate another doctor. He arrived. I went in. Olivia lying quietly. Still unconscious. She has an even chance, doctor said. They had tapped her spine. Not meningitis. It's encephalitis. Mervyn left in my car. I stayed. Pat arrived and went in to see Olivia. Kissed her. Spoke to her. Still unconscious. I went in. I said, "Olivia… Olivia." She raised her head slightly off pillow. Sister said don't. I went out. We drank whiskey. I told doctor to consult experts. Call anyone. He called a man in Oxford. I listened. Instructions were given. Not much could be done. I first said I would stay on. Then I said I'd go back with Pat. Went. Arrived home. Called Philip Evans. He called hospital. Called me back. "Shall I come?" "Yes please." I said I'd tell hospital he was coming. I called. Doc thought I was Evans. He said I'm afraid she's worse. I got in the car. Got to hospital. Walked in. Two doctors advanced on me from waiting room. How is she? I'm afraid it's too late. I went into her room. Sheet was over her. Doctor said to nurse go out. Leave him alone. I kissed her. She was warm. I went out. "She is warm." I said to doctors in hall, "Why is she so warm?" "Of course," he said. I left.

If you've had any interest in the man or his writings I recommend you read the rest of the article here.

Making Angels Cry

2010-08-04T08:56:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was a horrid day.

I decided a few months ago that my feelings for Girl had changed. Fast forward to yesterday - Girl has been been gone for a bit over a month training for a new job. She came home looking gorgeous as ever I'd seen her.

While she was flying in, I cleaned her apartment to a point of spotlessness I knew even she'd be pleased with, and purchased an excellent bottle of wine. Also, a 12 pack of her favorite beer and a few limes.

We hadn't spoken much while she was away, which made this much harder - so when she arrived I met her at a car with a glass of wine and helped her bring her things in. I wanted to talk to her, see how she'd been - the last thing I wanted was to end two great years with a simple "it's over."

I asked questions, she gave answers - we caught up; "Talk to me," she said. "I'm not stupid. I know you want to break up."

I was as clear as I could be with my answers - as clear as anyone looking at a tall, gorgeous, olive-skinned, golden eyed brunette laying on big pillows with tears in her eyes is capable of being - I tried not to pull punches, to tell her just how I felt.

"Just say you don't love me anymore," she said. "It'll be easier to hear." I couldn't say that, because I do - so she saved me. "You're not in love with me." "I guess that's how it's said," I responded.

So much happened that it's difficult to catalog - but the one thing I'll never forget is when she said she was going to move to another apartment.

"Somewhere safer?" I asked. "Somewhere where everything I look at doesn't remind me of you," she sobbed as she curled in a ball.

I don't post here much, so I imagine - and maybe hope - no one will read this - but I hope when I look back I remember the dreariness of these moments. The pain of breaking a heart, watching it happen. Taking full responsibility for another person's suffering.

It's a memory I'll never take for granted.

 Nobody said it was easy, It's such a shame for us to part. Nobody said it was easy, No one ever said it would be this hard.

Coldplay - The Scientist

Sick. And. Tired.

2010-04-15T09:39:00.001-07:00

Big banks will be the death of me.

Shortly after Chase bought two of my credit card accounts, closed them and skyrocketed the interest rate on one I thought Bank of America would be my saving grace in terms of Banks To Do Business With. Hell, I have two credit cards and a mortgage with them as well as Checking, Savings and Student Loans - surely they will realize the value of my business and won't give me the shaft.

Enter: now. With my new job and (finally!) increased income I'm ready to really begin paying off my credit cards - my focus in particular is to improve my credit/debt ratio to bump my credit score up. So I put 800.00 towards my Bank of America card and LO and FUCKING behold..

I check my balance today and they've REDUCED my credit limit by that 800.00. I have, in effect, made no change to my credit/debt ratio because Bank of America decided to reduce the credit limit I have had for 5 years and have paid on time, every time.

So. The time has come to move to another bank. Preferably a smaller one - probably a credit union, in fact. Maybe then I will find some sort of CUSTOMER SERVICE.

Until then, I will work to get completely OUT of debt. I haven't used a credit card in almost a year - I've proven I can live without credit lines completely. That's my strategy for the future - regardless of what happens economically, if I don't owe anyone anything, no one has any power over me.

Last month...

2010-04-14T08:35:00.001-07:00

...I gave my roommate a month free rent (and bought a new dryer at this behest) because he had a huge tax debt.

This month he's talking about moving out.

Is anyone else tired of doing favors for other people just to get shit on directly afterwards?

Congrats Phil Mickelson!

2010-04-11T19:25:00.001-07:00

Our 2010 Master's champion! Well played!

Well played, too, Tiger Woods! Hope to see you on the course again soon!

Boy, they're ALL coming out of the woodwork now...

2010-04-02T11:36:00.000-07:00

http://snarkfood.com/more-sources-say-tiger-woods-lied-about-alleged-racist-attack/37666/

Things are getting pretty ridiculous. Suddenly, school officials are refuting a story (published in a book in 2005) by Tiger Woods about racial issues during his upbringing - at a time when Tiger's honesty is most in question. And Gloria Allred is involved, no less.

Personally, I'd have sued about the story when it first came out were I them - not five years later, when everyone ELSE is cashing in on the TW scandal.

Wow - lots of posts today. Can you tell I'm bored at work?

"The truth is, there are some limits to what Government can do."

2010-04-02T11:21:00.000-07:00

I don't like these types of statements from Obama (US Is Beginning to Turn Corner, BusinessWeek [http://www.businessweek.com/news/2010-04-02/obama-says-u-s-is-beginning-to-turn-the-corner-produce-jobs.html]).

It's just this kind of mentality that, according to my limited mental capacity, is degrading the United States. Yet again we see examples of the socialization of Government - even more-so in that Obama can constantly say things like this without fear of being called a Communist.

We've begun to accept this idea. "Hey, believe it or not - there's SOME stuff Government can't do." But don't worry - we're working on that.

Frankly, there should be LOTS of stuff Government can't do. Unwarranted wiretaps, massive overspending, over-reaching social programs - all huge signs of what the Government has become - the overseer. The Provider. Mother and Father.

I look forward to a day when we can refer to "government" with a lowercase G again - instead of the capital G that has, to now, only been reserved for the highest of powers - God.

It seems that's what our government thinks it has become.

The most overused word in my department...

2010-04-02T09:45:00.001-07:00

Has to be "postal." "Going postal." "Went postal." "Gonna go postal."

Inundated with these terms all day long. I wonder if I should be worried.

I might go postal if I hear "postal" one more time.

Story Of The Week

2010-03-31T10:01:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen Superbad? Well, you're a pussy for just having seen it. This kid LIVED it!

<p>"The teenager, an aspiring police officer, allegedly wore a uniform and entered a South Side police station through an unlocked back door around 1:30 p.m. on Jan. 24. He was issued a radio and rode with a patrol officer for more than five hours, at times using the terminal in the squad car and responding to five assignments, Weis said."</p>

Dude was 14. How old must this guy have looked to have gotten away with this? Did he have a fake beard on or something?

I find it ironic that the cops who screwed up are getting off on this, but the kid is wearing an electronic monitoring bracelet. Gotta be tough on crime, right cops?

The whole story here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29498364/

I think it means you're a whore...

2010-03-29T11:40:00.001-07:00

The Girls Gone Wild bus has appeared in my town yet again. I swear the damned thing is here on a monthly basis. What does that say about the community of women in my town?

I think it might mean they exhibit whore-like traits..

Call me judgmental.

No... wait. Don't.

The funniest thing about this healthcare reform...

2010-03-24T13:13:00.001-07:00

...is the way people "interpret" it.

News articles across the web are riddled with comments from people who think it's unfair that they will - get this! - be ARRESTED for failure to maintain medical insurance. Take this insightful comment from CNN.com:

"jryan1085

My sister cant afford the cost of 100 a month for her and her 2 kids, so now she gets fined and put in jail and her kids get government foster care. TERRIFIC!!"

What?!

I'm not saying I'm for this medical push - nor am I certain I'm completely against it - but it irks me when people make judgement based on information that was clearly passed along during a game of "Telephone." Seriously. Do your research before you get butt hurt.

Communist Tracker

2010-03-23T07:20:00.001-07:00

http://www.google.com/prc/report.html#hl=en

Awwweeesssoooome. Tracking how Communist China is managing Google's decision to chop the fuck OUT. Naturally, moving their services to Hong Kong won't make the Chinese government happy. I wonder how long before all of this is blocked?

Mourning a Passing

2010-03-22T09:41:00.001-07:00

My first puppy ever died last week at age 10. She was a beautiful black lab who had a more than healthy love for water - lakewater, kiddie pool water, puddle water... she will be missed, especially by her brother and sister.

Rest in Peace Boop.

03/16/2010

Healthcare Passed

2010-03-22T08:28:00.001-07:00

...I'm not sure if it's a good or a bad thing. Only time will tell, I suppose. I can't lie - my healthcare premiums are pretty ridiculous (300.00+ a month) - I don't know how much of an increase I'll be able to afford. So here's hoping that all the increases those against the bill are touting won't happen.

Either way, I'm leery of spending so much more money when we have so much debt and so much trouble on our plates as it is.

Tales of an Illegal Immigrant

2010-03-19T09:29:00.001-07:00

New realization last night - one of our employees is an illegal immigrant. (Here's hoping the fed doesn't track me down via this blog to get information out of me!)

Upon said realization, I began to grill him. He's having a surgery for an ulcer next week - we asked him how he plans to pay for it. He looked at us all and laughed - "You guys going to pay for it!" Which was really, really funny since we know and like the guy - but gave us all an overwhelming feeling of the debacle the country is currently going through in regards to healthcare and immigration.

When asked how he did it, he told us in very broken english:

"You pay $2,000 - they take you to a place where you have to walk for t'ree days to get where you go. Me, I pay $3,000 - and walk for only fifteen minutes."

Not only is the illegal immigration market making bu-ku dollars, they seem to be selling these services like Cell Phone plans!

Apparently, his cousin who lives in Northeast Texas, only paid the $2,000 and had to take a very, very long hike.

"Is it scary," I asked? He looked indignant - "No, not et all." "Did anyone from the border patrol see you?" "Pfft, no one see me."

Yes, folks - it really IS that easy.

Rat out your tax-cheating friends and neighbors!

2010-03-07T09:47:00.001-08:00

Headline News has advised me of ways to blow the whistle on my tax-skipping friends and neighbors!

Apparently, you can even earn 15% on whatever money the IRS recovers!

Just one more way the government turns us against one another for it's own gain!

Now you too can anonymously narc your best pals out to The Man! Just wait til you see the look on their faces as they are hassled by an agent that may or may not have any legitimate basis for visiting outside of your true and/or false accusations of fraud!

Things is a'changin'

2010-03-02T09:58:00.001-08:00

Did I tell you I'm a Systems Analyst for a bank now?

I don't think I did. The job's pretty sweet - but it brings a lot of the effects of industry change to light.

All of this bank regulation - which I'm all for, by the way - has been a boon to consumers, but could cause quite an upheaval in the banking world. Particularly so in my relatively small bank, which is fee-based and makes the majority of its fee-money from Overdraft. Now, you see, customers have to OPT IN to allow overdraft protection (and therefore fees) - and if that doesn't happen, banks lose a lot of their revenue.

This lost revenue, if not made up in some other way, is going to end up in lost jobs. Lost jobs, starting with the new guys like me!

Fortunately, I'm part of a very bright team of people working to recover as much lost money as possible - this time through CUSTOMER-FRIENDLY means. Reducing overdraft fees, creating an overdraft cap and other such consumer-focused strategies are our wave of the future in an effort to resume business as usual, and, in fact, to continue growth.

What amazes me is that these types of strategy weren't implemented before! Then I remind myself that in a capitalist society (which I enjoy being part of), businesses make as much money as they can in every way possible - human nature, corporate nature, only cares about taking care of their customers needs to the point that it's profitable.

This is why these new banking regulation are in place - and I suspect that these regulation decisions will become among the best decisions the Big Floating Heads have made in a long time.

Bad Things

2010-02-24T10:03:00.001-08:00

Good news! Girl and I are back together, and have been now for a few weeks. I'm very excited about this, as I see it as a fantastic opportunity to find new areas for growth in our relationship.

Unfortunately, human nature is getting the best of me.

Of late, I am feeling very guilty for my behavior behind the bar. Excessive flirting, very very dirty talk, and on occasion physical contact (not kissing, sex, etc - but still, inappropriate contact) have become the norm, in particular after having had a few drinks myself.

I used to justify this behavior as money-making methodology - and the method has been incredibly successful, no doubt - but I feel like every time I work I slide closer and closer to making a relationship-ending mistake.

The environment of the bar makes things very difficult. Naturally, I won't drink behind the bar anymore - but intoxication isn't the only thing that comes in to play when I'm at work. Any man will tell you that when a smokin' hot girl gives you her number, or invites you to do dirty things to her, or shows you her Sweater Kittens (is that still a modern term? I hope not.) testosterone and horniness levels kick in to high gear.

This kind of behavior can't continue if I wish to rebuild and move forward with my relationship with Girl. So if I can't change the environment itself, methinks it's time to change the environments I'm part of.

Thusly and heretofore, and for what it's worth, forthwith - I set my final day as a bartender at April 17, 2010. Until such time, all money I earn at the bar will be set aside as a savings buffer.

Here's hoping I solve this problem before it becomes a Tiger-Woodsian epic of failure and error. Because believe me, while I'm no worldwide sports star, news gets around in my community - and if I fuck up, I'll face public scrutiny similar to what Mr. Woods himself faced.

Even if that scrutiny is on a much smaller scale, it will still hurt if I have to deal with it.

It's a small world after all...

2010-02-22T08:12:00.001-08:00

By now you've all read of the recent (intentional) plane crash in to the IRS building in Austin, TX.

Fortunately, besides the pilot, Mr. Stack, only one other person perished in the incident. Oddly, that single person happened to be my neighbor's boss.

It struck me (again - because the Ft. Hood shooting was even more close-to-home in that one of my family members actually completed Hassan's final legal paperwork for him before he went on his rampage) how interconnected we are in the United States - and indeed globally.

Imagine - only a single soul was lost in this incident, but it affected someone I have known for years very directly. What are the statistical odds of that? What were those odds twenty years ago, when the world wasn't quite as small?

I guess my point is this - it doesn't take massive casualties for the loss of life to be far-reaching anymore. All it takes is one.

I'm not sure if that in some way makes our lives seem more valuable, or if it makes everything seem more pitiful. But it's something to consider.

People in China seem kinda strange...

2010-02-08T12:54:00.001-08:00

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE6134TQ20100204?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews&rpc=69

This girl is having cosmetic surgery to make her look like Jessica Alba - all in an effort to get the man who SHE dumped back. Apparently her boyfriend was obsessed with JA (who can blame him?), but seriously.. changing yourself to look like someone else is NUTSO.

Sorry lady - you're nucking futs.

In case you were wondering...

2010-02-03T07:42:00.001-08:00

The new job is going very well.

For the first time in my working career I feel I'm doing something extremely worthwhile. I started Monday - and I'm already spearheading four MAJOR initiatives. It's nice to see that what you're doing is of major importance - my projects impact every aspect of the business, from customer to executive - very satisfying.

I'm at work now - so more on this later.

In the meantime... take care of yourselves. And each other.

GO JERRY SPRINGER!

I got it!

2010-01-22T13:24:00.001-08:00

Major promotion!!!!

I've begun to realize...

2010-01-21T13:17:00.001-08:00

...that I wish, instead of saying goodbye, that I'd told her I just wanted more love.

Thank you John Mayer for your insights.

Not fair.

2010-01-21T08:12:00.001-08:00

I spent time with the ex last night at her house - we talked and talked and cried and talked. I left and went home for bed.

This morning I woke up after a dream with her in it and couldn't keep myself from driving to her house and falling asleep next to her in her bed.

Talk about Heartbreak Warfare.

How horrible of me is that, exactly?

Improving

2010-01-19T11:08:00.001-08:00

So sorry that my blog posts are all getting sappy and lame. But I've always intended this blog as a sort of time capsule - something I can use to remind myself in a few years of who I was, what I thought, what I experienced... so this kinda boring and lame filler is what comes of that.

Initially, I thought breaking up with my girlfriend would make me want to sleep with all the hotties I've been turning down at the bar for the past year and a half. I've always held the rather callous belief that the best way to get over the last one is with the next one.

As it turns out, that's not what my heart is telling me to do at all.

Instead, from DDay on I've been working on self improvement. Painting the house, gardening, fixing little breaks and tears here and there - and getting myself back in to good shape.

That as my mantra, I've put my foot down at work, as well. I'm in contention for a major promotion - if I get the position, I'll be more or less in charge of a major Intranet project (a big initiative for the company). Oddly, they have already started me working on the project concurrently with my other responsibilities, and the same pay.

Further, they are taking over a month to make a decision.

Today I was told that even if I didn't get the position, they want to use my extensive experience in Intranet design to essentially head the project - concurrently with my normal responsibilities, and at the same level of pay. They considered this a "long-term" thing.

I told them today, respectfully, that if I wasn't the best candidate for the position I applied for I'd understand, but would have to move to another organization. The pay here is too low - much too low to add that additional responsibility to my life without adding numbers to my paycheck (hell, I already work two jobs).

This could make or break the job decision, but part of my improvement is no longer allowing myself to be overworked and overused.

Just gotta keep on movin'...

Remembering the Positive

2010-01-18T08:18:00.001-08:00

This weekend was one of the most painful experiences I've ever experienced. Breaking up with someone I love because I can see (and have seen for so very long) how miserable we are, regardless of the feelings we have for one another, was an awful and gut-wrenching process.

Of all the thoughts running through my head, though, I try my hardest to focus on what was so great about the beautiful brunette I met on July 4, 2008 and with whom I built a relationship truly built on unconditional love and trust.

I was blessed to meet this unjaded girl with a beautiful and loving heart. She truly believed in giving all of her heart without worrying about the consequences. When we found each other, she made it so perfectly clear that she was willing to love me with everything she had - and all that she asked in return was that I be careful with her love.

For over a year and a half I travelled through life with her. Man, what a ride. We had such fun and learned so much together about the world and what it really means to give yourself to someone else completely.

It's sad that life was finally able to catch up to us - that the hard times were too hard for us to ride out. But was it ever worth the trip. The joy far outweighs the pain that this end has wrought.

She is so stunning inside and out - such a beautiful physical and spiritual specimen - and I don't know that anyone deserves to meet more than one woman like her in a lifetime.

But I know that I'll never settle for less than an unjaded girl with a beautiful and loving heart.

And I know that I'm so very thankful for having had her in my life.

D Day

2010-01-16T22:08:00.001-08:00

Mere hours ago I broke my best friend's heart. It was agonizing seeing the beautiful woman I have loved and who has loved me cry.

It was the right thing to do. But it hurts so much.

Tiger Woods gives $3M

2010-01-15T13:32:00.001-08:00

And all these commenters can do is give the guy shit :http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/abraham/detail??blogid=95&entry_id=55338;

It's more of the same across the web. Apparently, 3 million isn't enough - even though he gave 3 times what Brad and Angelina Jolie gave (combined!)

This is why Tiger isn't going to come out in the limelight. We are not a forgiving public - we are a public of haters. Further proof that Tiger's making the right move by staying under the radar.

We're going down... and you can see it, too

2010-01-14T14:36:00.001-08:00

All is not well.

Girl and I seem to be on the brink. Several months ago she began a new job which required her to leave for an extended period of time - but that isn't the real issue. Trouble started months before that, with something simple; we just became less interested in one another.

Sex has gone downhill - from 3 times a day to nearly never. Little comments are signalling the end - the other night, for instance, I asked her playfully if she loved me. Her reply - "How can I be in love with someone I never see?"

She denies that she said this now. How she could forget, I don't know - we weren't at all intoxicated at the time.

Today, she asked me why I was being so needy. Let me note that I am not the needy kind, so little so that she used to complain that I seemed to have no feelings - so this statement was particularly striking. She asked me why I was with her, if I was so unhappy - though I never said I was.

I feel like this may mark the end. We're both in a time of transition - I'm trying to move out of the area; she just started a great new job; now might be the time to close the doors on what has been a fantastic relationship... before things turn regretably sour.

Zuckerberg's Privacy Comments

2010-01-12T09:28:00.001-08:00

The CEO of Facebook is getting a lot of flak for these comments.

Apparently, the world is shocked because this kid has figured out the truth about people, whether or not we choose to admit it ourselves - we don't care about privacy anymore.

Only when we're accused of not caring - when the fact that most of us gladly put our lives on display for other people to see what we're doing is thrown in our faces - the fact that we're a nation of attention whores is rubbed in our noses - do we suddenly rush to defend our deep and abiding passion for keeping our lives behind closed doors.

But let's be realistic. We're in the age of Reality TV. We're in the age of Big Government. We're in the age of Fear We gladly exchange our right to privacy for a little press time, a little money - a little more "safety."

This kid Mark Zuckerberg (this billionaire kid) is just much smarter than we'd like him to be. He sees "us" for "us" and he's made a cool billion at a very, very ridiculously young age.

Instead of getting angry at this guy for telling the truth, we should be angry at ourselves for allowing this to become reality. Back off the whiz kid and start fixing things.

Unfortunately, when it comes to doing something beyond complaining our public tends to fail epically.

And it's our own damn fault.

My Girlfriend is Getting Married!

2010-01-11T14:12:00.001-08:00

Minka Kelly is getting married to Derek Jeter!

She may not remember, but Minka and I met several times on the set of Friday Night Lights a few years back. I may have misheard (or made it up in my midn completely), but I'm PRETTY sure she agreed to marry ME.

To date I've not received any notice of our engagement having ended.

Minka, I am not pleased.

Has Anyone Seen This Movie?

2010-01-11T11:54:00.001-08:00

Has anyone seen Apocalypto? The lead character in this movie has started frequenting my bar recently. The dude looks pretty epic in the movie, but in real life he's pretty tiny. Anyway, if you wanted to know what he drinks - double grey goose and cranberry. If you see him, that's your first step to shmoozing the guy.

Lately we've had a few big names come through. Tommie Harris and a bunch of players from Tampa Bay's Bucs for instance. THOSE guys were beasts. You can't understand the sheer size of these guys on the field because they're playing with a bunch of people THEIR size - but when compared to the normal populace, they really stand out.

Anyway, that's what's new in my bar.

AirTerrorWatchGate 2010

2010-01-09T08:38:00.001-08:00

Since the failed attack on a US plane by Abdul Mutallab, hasn't the news been pretty fucking lame?

Every single incident at an airport that was once skipped in favor of more interesting and relevant news (eg. Cowboys and UT Football) is now being pumped in to the mainstream. John Doe caused a scene at the ticketing desk - Bob Johnson had metal in his pockets OMG!

These kinds of media circuses are catalysts for the type of government lock-down we're going to see in the near future, and something tells me it's not just going to stop at airport security.

I wish the media would leave well the hell enough alone. These sensationalist stores are a waste of the pixels they're printed on.

Well, someone from my shitbag little down made it...

2009-12-21T14:02:00.001-08:00

Keith Null had his first NFL start last night. I was a year older than him, but he was way much mo' bigger than me. And now it seems to be paying off for you. I played basketball with him JV, if I remember. He was a pretty good ball player, too.

Awesome seeing someone I went to school with starting in the NFL.

Having your cake and eating it, too?

2009-12-18T13:15:00.001-08:00

http://www.theboombox.com/2009/12/18/chris-brown-says-twitter-was-nothing-but-trouble/

Note to Chris Brown. You can't both be a woman-beater AND a crybaby.

Ugh...

2009-12-03T08:13:00.001-08:00

It looks like I was right.

Headlines everywhere read "Tiger is a Cheetah!" And jokes abound about Tiger being unable to stay in his cage.

I hope Tiger says absolutely nothing about the incident. Fuck everyone who thinks he owes them ANYthing.

All he owes the US is to continue winning golf tournaments around the world.

Get to it Tiger. And no more tourney skipping.

Tiger Woods Hospitalized!

2009-11-27T13:40:00.001-08:00

http://sports.espn.go.com/chicago/news/story?id=4693657

NoooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just hope he didn't do anything that could land him jail time. I don't think I could handle a week's worth of headlines which were in some way a variant of a "Tiger in the Cage" metaphor.

Things have changed a bit...

2009-11-07T11:05:00.001-08:00

...but not as much as I'd expected.

I figured the change would be as drastically noticeable as the day after 9/11, but things aren't as obviously uncomfortable as they were then. News analysts are calling this the biggest single killing event to occur since September 11, and pointing out that its the biggest killing of this kind in US military history (which is significant, I suppose, because the US military is nearly 300 years old). But things seem to be going on business-as-usual around town.

I have to wonder - is it because this community is so desensitized to the idea of death that this is almost normal?

The real test will be at work this evening. I'll have the opportunity to talk to a lot of people that were closely involved in the incident, and I suspect I'll hear some interesting stories.

Terrible tragedy...

2009-11-05T15:00:00.001-08:00

Today sucks. It seems what happened in our community is all over the news, so you probably know what I'm talking about. A lot of my bar regulars work in the building that was attacked (members of my family usually do, too, but were not present today for various reasons, thank God) and I'm praying they're all okay.

These things can happen anywhere, it seems. This town's going to be locked down for a little while.

Pray for the victims and their families, por favor.

Reality TV

2009-11-05T11:07:00.001-08:00

Turns out one of my friends is (was) on the show, For the Love of Ray-J. That's kinda funny.

She's back home, but I guess the episodes that are running are ones she's still in. I've never been inclined to watch this tripe, but now that I know someone ON the show... it seems less tripe-y.

Which it shouldn't. Because it's still garbage.

Still gonna watch every show now! Hah!

Depressed...

2009-11-02T10:25:00.001-08:00

Four years ago, when I began college, I was making just shy of $70k per annum.

Four years later I'm a month away from graduation, and I'm working TWO jobs to just BARELY eek out $45K.

What the fuck is going on here? I'm tired of working two jobs and going to school!

Blah. Boo. Boo. Puppyfuck.

The Day After My Birthday

2009-10-26T13:17:00.001-07:00

...today was a train wreck.

Girl was scheduled to fly out today at 7:00 am - we got a hotel fifteen minutes from the airport to ensure she could make it on time - and we missed the flight. Then, on my way home, I got a flat tire. On the highway. In the driving rain.

It gets worse.

I lost my wallet last week, and spent all the cash I had on hand during my birthday. And my gas gauge hit empty. I got to a gas station and - get this - it took me an HOUR and FORTY FIVE MINUTES to find someone who would help me out with five dollars to get home! I don't blame them, I guess - I was dressed in sweat pants, a black wife beater and a beanie - and was SOAKED, thanks to the tire change. I looked every bit the bum.

Then, with five dollars in my gas tank (I drive a V8 and had a fifty mile drive home) I got stuck on the interstate behind traffic. Unfortunately, it seemed someone had a worse day than me, because there was a car crushed Final Destination style by wood that had apparently fallen off a freight truck. So I feel worse for them than for me - but it was hell driving fifty miles on five dollars - I barely made it.

Anyway, the birthday weekend itself was awesome.

Oh, and MALACH! I STARTED A BAR FIGHT, PER YOUR SUGGESTION!

Well, I didn't start it. I did, however, finish it!

So happy 24 to me! And happy early Bday to Counsellor/BigTopWorld!

I'ma Lucky Bastid

2009-10-24T12:43:00.001-07:00

I was just thinking that my work situation (though exhausting) is pretty damn lucky.

I work two jobs and work WITH about 20 people practially elbow-to-elbow between them. I don't have a single enemy, or so much as someone I don't really like. How lucky is that?

Anyway, this'll be my last post at the age of 23. Next time I have something to say, I'll be the grand ol' age of twenny-fo!

I think my issue with the bar...

2009-10-24T08:51:00.001-07:00

...may have less to do with tips, and more to do with the extreme amounts of sexual tension I experience there.

For all intents and purposes, I've become among the "it" bartenders in town - which isn't to say that I have lines waiting outside the club door just dying to get to me... but the notoriety certainly lends itself to excessive female attention.

Now that your ego-meter reading for me is in the "HUGE head" position, allow me to continue.

For the entire tenure of my bartending career at this bar, I've been the with the same lady. I have been completely and utterly faithful for the entire year and a half we've been together. To be honest, bartending and our relationship were never at odds - but lately we've been fighting more and more and life has added more and more stress (family issues, job issues... they all seem to get more serious the older you get)...

And in between all this, for the past month, two SUPER fine girls from Hooters have been trying their damndest to have a threesome with me. The South American bartender with the huge tits, ass and tiny waist and incredible accent has been trying to get me to come over. The short, sexy brunette from the bank has been trying to "get to know me better." The ridiculously perfectly proportioned Panamanian girl has been trying to get my attention...

And others.

They leave nothing to the imagination. NOTHING. In their drunken tirades they explain the terribly sexy things they would like to do to me.

It's like the first crack in every dam you see in cartoons. They keep pushing and pushing and pushing - hoping that eventually, the dam is going to give way. Naturally, I won't. But I'm 23 (24 tomorrow!!!) and the attention is difficult to ignore.

I refuse to give in - but it sure does frustrate me that I can't sometimes.

Maybe that's NOT my issue with the bar. Maybe it IS that sometimes people leave horribly shitty tips - but I already feel better having written this out, so I'm guessing there's more to it than money.

My floor guys...

2009-10-19T22:18:00.000-07:00

...think we're gay.

Someone spelled "gay buttsex" with the magnets on my refrigerator. The floor dudes are acting funny now. But the floors look good!

This is great news...

2009-10-19T16:25:00.001-07:00

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-medical-marijuana20-2009oct20,0,7401028.story?track=rss

The Federal Government is changing their targets for cannabis cultivation in weed-legal states. Of course, the strategy all along should have been to go for the guys trafficking harder drugs and guns along with the innocent Herb, but LATE is always better than never.

I suspect it'll be another 50 years before cannabis is legalized throughout the country - and I anxiously await that day. By then I doubt I'll be smoking it at all, but just because I won't be involved with it doesn't mean others who choose to imbibe should be persecuted for it.

I thought slavery had been outlawed...

2009-10-18T13:45:00.000-07:00

... And then I became a bartender.

Listen, bars have been around for a long time and tipping is not a new concept. There is no longer an excuse for consistently leaving absolutely nothing. You didn't know? You've been here ten times.

Further, don't ask for a stronger drink. You got a fair pour and you didn't even deserve that. No, you cheap fuck, you can't have more. No, I won't "hook you up". You've never seen me before but other bartenders usually give you more? I've been here four days a week and have never seen your scrub ass so fuck off.

If you don't tip, don't be surprised when you're the last of twenty to get served. I'm here to make money. Would a mortgage broker waste time with someone they couldn't qualify? Would a car salesman? No.

I don't derive pleasure from assisting your intoxication. I just like to eat.

So this one's for you, no tippers. May your pours be short, and may your beers be pure head. Fuck. You.

Obama Gets the Peace Prize

2009-10-09T09:06:00.001-07:00

...why?

I support Obama because he's our President. I certainly see him as a ray of hope for our nation because of his youth and vigor, and the way these traits change the world's perception of our nation.

But what did he win the Peace Prize for?

According to Wikipedia, the prize is awarded to, "the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses." Obama is WORKING on it, sure... but what has he actually accomplished?

Nine months in, he's a Peace Prize winner. I think the Awards Committee may have seriously tarnished their reputations by making such a premature judgement.

It's the Obama Syndrome all over again. I discussed it briefly before the election - the "Obama is going to fix everything for us" mentality seems to have spread beyond the United States and in to the hearts and minds of committees that should be the least affected by it.

I think the award will be beneficial to the US. It casts him in that much better a light - and by extension, makes the United States look more like the beacon of hope it has long been pronounced as.

But that doesn't make the award justified.

Just ordered me...

2009-10-06T09:15:00.001-07:00

...a Sprint Palm Pre.

http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2338899,00.asp#

Things Just Kinda... Happen

2009-09-28T08:32:00.001-07:00

I was recently Wikipedia'ing at work and I saw the news that one of the Manson Family ladies had died in jail. From that article, I visited the Roman Polanski page and read that he had statutorily raped (does that make sense?) a 13-year-old girl 40 years ago.

Today, it seems Mr. Polanski is in Switzerland under arrest, waiting to hear if the US will send extradition paperwork his way.

I bet he curses the day I looked at his Wikipedia page.

I'm sorry, Roman!

My oh my, the weather is fine!

2009-09-25T10:18:00.001-07:00

My favorite season has arrived, and it's in beautiful, full swing. 65 degrees of wide blue skies, and a smooth autumn breeze. Best season in Texas. Winters tend to come later and be much milder here - so while some of you are already seeing snow, I (might) see some around easter. For a day.

I think this year is going to be a rough winter, though. It seems when the summers are extraordinarily hot, winter is extraordinarily cold. And this summer was sweltering.

Anyway, this is the perfect time to play golf. Bet the courses are going to be paaaacked!

La Chancla

2009-09-23T16:42:00.001-07:00

You can learn very interesting things when you find the time to sit and listen. This applies in most earnest to the lives of your coworkers - in this case, our Mexican cooks. This tale revolves around our bus boy, to whom we refer as La Chancla (the Slipper, in mexo-spanish slang) and how he got his nickname.

"You know why we call him Chancla?" says Diego, in his moderately broken English. "Because when we go to San Antonio, his cousin... his, how you say, wife? He make the..." Diego makes a vulgar hand-and-hip gesture which we men readily translate in to copulation. "He make the... with his cousin wife!"

"Si!" Elian, our bar back, affirms. "When we go San Antonio and stay in my house with my girlfriend, I..." Elian points two fingers at his eyes, and then simulates sending laser beams from them to Chancla. "Because if I don't, he fuck my girlfriend!"

We discussed this at great length, and I was much amused. For some reason, our cooks open up to me more than our other staff - and this is the kind of stuff that makes me glad to be a people person.

Now We Know Global Warming's Cause

2009-09-18T16:27:00.001-07:00

Racism. The earth is clearly racist.

Fucking earth. Jimmy Carter, save us!

The Handicapped Stall

2009-09-14T10:51:00.001-07:00

Working in an office again - and it's an interesting return. Things never really seem to change between offices, even those of completely different organizations. Sure, there are small edits to the "Culture" section of your Orientation binder, but they aren't exactly massively different.

One thing that never changes is Man's preference for the handicapped stall. I was just using one to balance my body's food intake/outtake levels, and I heard the guy who walked in behind me mumble, "God DAMMIT..." as he took his place on the throne less spacious than mine.

Now THAT shit is FUNNY.

No pun.

Ultimate Explosi0n Fight Battle Part One!1!

2009-08-31T18:07:00.001-07:00

Remember how my bar manager accused me of stealing?

Well, Saturday he did it again! I served (and cashed out) five shots, and he whooshed by me and said, "Where the fuck are those shots?" I said, "They're paid out, dude." He said, "Prove it." I found the receipt, slapped him on the back (he's a full 6 inches taller than me) and yelled, so the whole bar could hear me - totally worth it by the way! - "Better luck NEXT time, buddy!!!"

He took me to the back and got in my face. I think he realized I was going to knock his big ass the fuck out, because he backed up and asked me to talk to him out back.

I said to him among the meanest things I've ever said to anyone in my life. Horrible, wretched things like how much I hated working with him, how I thought he was a garbage human being; how I think it's bullshit that he's an asshole on PURPOSE... but much meaner than that.

Man. I felt great.

Anyway, let that be a lesson to you guys. Don't accuse me of stealing, or I'll say really, really mean things to you!

Texas Weather

2009-08-28T12:44:00.001-07:00

There are many things about Texas that are different from the country I grew up in - (namely Germany); the dead grass everywhere... the flat land... the lack of thousand year old castles randomly bespeckled about hilltops... oh, and the massive rivers cutting through rolling hillcountry.

But I tell you, there are few things in Texas as awe-inspiring as the weather we see here. I was driving along the highway last night watching the massive black storm clouds plowing their way to the edge of our city, and I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the intensity of it all. The electrical storms we have here are wild - thick white bolts of lightning hammering down to earth from the dense blackness above stirs something in me.

I dunno.. but I think our weather could kick your dad's weather's ass.

Responsibility Behind the Bar

2009-07-20T12:49:00.001-07:00

My Friday shift gave me a solemn reminder as to why my judgement, and my subsequent use thereof, is very important to my trade. The choices I make in service can mean the difference between a fantastic bar visit or disaster...

Remember I said that Friday looked busy?

My first six guests were a group of soldiers who had literally just stepped off the plane from Afghanistan. They hadn't had a drink in 15 months, they said - a fact that, in retrospect, was an important one for me to notice - and were just looking to enjoy the sweet nectar that they'd been deprived of in that desert hell.

Hours went by and these fellows were having a blast - one in particular. This fellow was buying round after round after round for himself and his friends. Eventually, the majority of his friends ducked out. Our friend tabbed out, left me a 55.00 tip and went out to smoke.

He came back in with a few more friends and reopened his tab, and the day continued - he tipped me 40.00 more (a fact that may have clouded my judgement further) and I kept serving him.

Now, fellow is a solidly built guy. He came in sober, ate a huge meal full of protein in the form of chicken, rice, etc. All signs that mean "go" in my experience.

But after fifteen months, ones alcohol tolerance diminishes completely - and after a 16 hour flight in, exhaustion had no doubt set in to him, furthering his likelihood of rapid intoxication.

Naturally, by the end of his visit he as schmammered. He began becoming belligerent, melodramatic and violent all at once - and was asked to leave.

Fourty five minutes later he was in the parking lot surrounded by his friends passed out.

An hour and a half later he was in a squad car for threatening a mall cop - and those guys are dicks anyway.

Essentially, my failure to properly assess his tolerance and my inability to properly pace him landed him some time in tank.

And that's why I need to be more aware.

The Payday Phenomenon

2009-07-17T09:25:00.001-07:00

I don't know much about other economies, but I have to say that the economy in my town is probably unique to any other in the United States.

You see, we're the biggest military town in the world. And everyone gets paid on the same days - the 1st and the 15th.

During PayWeek (either the first or fifteenth), we are the busiest city in the world. For instance, the mall just opened and I saw a stream of people going in and out (on a weekday morning, to top it all off). Next week at this time I'll hear crickets.

Seriously, people here spend all of their money in one week - and then do nothing the next week - and then spend it all again the week after.

Wild, eh?

A Thief!?!

2009-07-02T15:39:00.001-07:00

Apparently my douchebag bar manager thinks I'm stealing money from the bar.

Why? Because two days this month our bar sales numbers were low - yet my tips were strong. Since I've been bartending, I've typically averaged 23-28% of sales in tip. So if we sell $1000.00, I'll make $280. Well, Monday was dead - we sold 1550 - and I made $427.00. When I say 'I', I mean 'we.' We split our tips based on the hours we were scheduled to work.

So what the fuck?

Apparently, HE doesn't get tipped that way so I must be stealing. Bullshit. Garbage. Crap and Dogfuck.

The worst part of all this is that I can't disprove his theory. Paranoia like that will always stick around - even in six months when he's still found nothing. And then some busy night in the future I'll forget to ring a beer in and POOF! All his paranoia has been PROVEN and he was right all along!

Bastard.

Oh Em Gee

2009-06-23T10:20:00.001-07:00

I'm the worst blogger on the planet. Has it really been months since my last post? Thanks to breathethenexhale for the reminder...

Well, I'm still bartending. Business is still pretty good - and they've recently passed a law in my city that bans smoking in bars. My guests bitch and moan and, the faithful servant that I am, I back them up and tell them that I agree, and it IS bullshit that they can't smoke in my establishment anymore.

And then after hours we all sniff our clothes and note that we no longer smell like individual cigar boxes. And our lungs are probably all the better for it.

Girl and I are still doing well. She's a lot more serious about this all than I am, I think. Is that the way it always works? Someone is always deeper in than the other? I'm thinking, "I'm 23 with the world ahead of me." She's thinking: marriage. But I love her and I know that I can't be forced in to anything - and she wouldn't try anyway - so I'm content.

Four more classes til graduation. I took a practice LSAT - still not sure on the results. That's a bitch of a test, by the by.

Since last we spoke I've also been to Vegas (blasty blast!), been on the lake ninety million times... oh, and had major AC problems.

If any of you are buying a home soon, this is good to know - there is a line that is connected to your indoor AC unit that takes the condensation that your air conditioner pulls out of the air and drips it outside of the house. If that line gets clogged, the inside of your house gets flooded.

If you're like me and you just put down wood floors, those floors get destroyed. And this is exactly what happened to me.

Anywho, back to life. Back to reality.

Much love!

Jacked.

2009-03-04T13:06:00.001-08:00

Right in front of my eyes, last night. One girl seems to have, quite literally, taken a tip jar off the bar top. Another two literally emptied a jar right in front of my face.

I don't know what I was doing that I couldn't see the jars. Actually, yes I do. I was taking care of people on a part of the bar that completely blocked out the jars.

But still. How did I let that happen? How did WE let that happen?

This probably cost me about 60.00 - and cost all of us who work for and off those tips - about 200.00.

Chump change? Perhaps. But not to the bar back, who works for 10% of our tips - or the busser, who works for 2%.

My inattention to detail cost everyone money.

That's a lot more upsetting than the money I cost myself.

"I don't want to be picked just because I look like a button."

2009-03-04T13:04:00.001-08:00

I don't watch Idol very much, but I'm watching it now (a DVR's episode - so if some other genius caught this comment and has already posted the shit out of it, it's nice to see there are people out there as perceptive as me. Just kidding guys.) and this girl just said, "I don't want to be picked just because I look like a button."

Clearly, one of the judges told her she was cute as a button. And she thought they told her she was cute because she looked like a button.

I get it, I get it. She's under a lot of pressure.

But it's still funny.

I don' like, I don' like, I don' liiiikkeeee...

2009-03-02T10:09:00.001-08:00

Cocaine.

As bartenders, I sometimes feel like we're expected to throw more outrageous parties than the rest of the world - straight-liquor-and-beer parties really do seem pretty plain after spending countless nights making a living slinging them.

So our parties tend to go to a higher level, with more drugs and more alcohol than your average bang-up.

It's during these parties that I've begun to truly understand how I emotionally and mentally rationalize drug usage. What drugs I WILL try, and what drugs I won't.

Coke is one I won't. Actually, I stay away from drugs altogether - (Note: Marijuana is not a drug. It's a plant.) - but I feel particularly strongly about white.

A huge bash I attended over the weekend simply reinforced the feeling. Let me tell you why - and let me start by asking you a question.

Ever seen Scarface? The movie did an exceptional job of capturing that look in someone's eye when they are truly, deeply, spiritually excited about receiving a drug. The puppy-dog pant-and-beg gimme-please-please-please look that people unconsciously make when they are feening (spelling?) for something. The clapping-my-hands-yes-yes-yes-yes-I-got-some look that people make when they finally get it.

Like they NEED it.

Cocaine makes people look like that. Makes them look pitiful, needful, starving for something that is not ONLY unimportant, but is completely bad for them.

I mean, I get stoked when I buy some exceptionally dank weed. But I don't ever feel like I NEED it. Like my body DEMANDS I take it in.

That looks makes me sick. So I stay away from the white.

Ugh.

On the eighth day..

2009-03-01T18:12:00.001-08:00

..got created the avocado. And he saw that it was right and good.
And he was deeply pleased.

So bored at work...

2009-02-27T13:51:00.003-08:00

...that I'm posting from my cell phone. Actually, I write more out of
interest than boredom. I just opened the bar and my first guest was a
woman with an arm brace on. Without me asking (because to be frank, i
hadn't noticed it), she began to fill in the details as to what had
transpired to make her wear the brace. WHat followed was among the
most interesting personal accounts I've heard in some time delivered
in a stream-of-conciousness manner that would've given faulkner pause.
You really can't make this shit up. OH well. Back to tending bar.

So bored at work...

2009-02-27T13:51:00.001-08:00

Hard Times A'Comin'...

2009-02-24T16:08:00.001-08:00

I make good money bartending, no doubt. However, the following facts conspire against me to send me to the poor house!

Electric Bill Balanced Billing DEFFERED BALANCE... $1,900
Air Conditioning Units (both in and out) need replaced ... $3,000++
IRS Tax Debt... $900.00
Room Mate May Move... -$450 to income

I'm a little bit worried.

P.S. I did not realize I was 2,000 in debt to my electric company. My advice to everyone is to pay more fucking attention to your electric bills.

Signed,

Douche Bag

Things I Hate

2009-02-23T13:51:00.001-08:00

1. Guest: "What draft beer do you carry?"
Me: "Guiness, Blue Moon, Shocktop, Widmer... (continue long, extensive draft list)"
Guest: "I'll have a Bud Light."

2. Guest (I've served five times without tip): "How much is a shot of [Insert Top Shelf Liquor Here]?"
Me: "[Insert price of 7.25+ here]"
Guest: "Awwww mannnn... can you hook me up? Can I get it for 2.00 less?"

3. Loud-Mouthed Guest: "Where's my steak!?!?!"
Me: "It's cooking. Gimme two more minutes."
Loud-Mouthed Guest: "WHERE'S MY STEAK?!?!"
Me: "Okay. Give me five more minutes."

4. Guest: "Do you know how to make a Eukelele-Bruiser-Samstown Martini? As a shot?"
Me: "Never heard of it. What's in it and I'll figure it out for you."
Now Outraged Guest: "HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT THAT IS?!?!?!"

XBOX + Netflix = Genius

2009-02-14T12:29:00.001-08:00

Microsoft proves yet again that it is not necessarily the power of the console that makes a winner, but the power of the connections has to get cool add-in's and goodies. Take THAT, PS3!

I'm an avid gamer and am usually on top of the latest in tech news, but somehow this announcement had slipped my mind: You can watch streaming movies provided by Netflix ON YOUR XBOX360.

No waiting for DVD's to ship. Just click a button to add the "Watch Now" movie to your queue and VOILA. There'tis.

Seriously, I signed up for Netflix again just because the service is badass. I liked Netflix. Now I love it.

Until the next technology comes along. Then I'll cheat.

I'm a cheater.

An Account of Stupidity

2009-02-14T12:27:00.001-08:00

Yesterday, there's three drunk guys in my bar. Well, actually, there were more than that - but let's focus on these three.

Picture: two tall, broad fellows standing down one small fellow - with his shirt off.

The argument? Whether or not the small guy was an MMA fighter. To prove that he was, he'd apparently taken his... shirt... off...

I'm confused by what this might have proved, but am please to present to you another Account of Stupidity from your favorite bartender.

I am your favorite, right?

What a Weekend

2009-02-09T14:18:00.001-08:00

I spent the weekend in Austin with a VIP in our area while we both waited for my girlfriend and HIS girlfriend to finish up at a conference they were attending.

We toured the capitol, walked around Congress and took in the experience that is Austin. I'm not used to the Austin area during daylight, so it was a very nice experience. And listening to this (much older) guy was captivating - he does a lot of work with missile defense and such things for the military, and his job has taken him all around the world.

We had experiences in Europe in common - I was born and raised in Germany, and during the first half of my life visited Spain, France, Italy, Holland... all but the EB countries - but when he spoke of Israel and Lebanon and Jerusalem, I was absolutely astounded. It was nice to get a take on the world from someone with so much more life experience than me.

Afterwards we visited one of the top 10 steakhouses in Texas -- and completely on a whim. The place we'd planned to eat had an hour wait so I, in a fit of genius, decided we should walk down 5th street and find a place that looked nice. So we picked Eddie V's Steakhouse. I should have known it would be expensive when I saw the valet outside, but man... the 125 tab for two entrees, a side item and a drink ended up being totally worth it. The blue's singer made the night perfect...

Which led to debauchery on 6th street. Girl went out looking absolutely ravishing, as always. Many and multifarious were the comments made in her direction - something I enjoy immensely, though I know several dudes who get mad when other guys look at their girls. My motto -- if I didn't want my girl to be noticed, I wouldn't date a beautiful girl -- can't complain if others notice her!

Anyway, VIP paid for me and girl's hotel room in a posh little place where tons of people were staying for an Asian Commerce meeting...

And after a helluva hangover, I went to work and made a few hundred dollars in 7 hours.

That's the best way to cap a day off!

The coolest thing I've ever done...

2009-02-03T09:10:00.001-08:00

Friend and I were talking about the coolest thing I've ever done...

And I think it was when I extra'd for Friday Night Lights on NBC. I met a lot of famous people - who will no doubt never, ever remember me... but I met Kyle Chandler, whose career has really kicked off since he began that series (with appearances in Grey's Anatomy and movies), all the hot cheerleaders, in particular the one who used to date John Mayer [my fav. artist] and is CURRENTLY dating Derek Jeter...

I was actually offered a full time job on the show as one of the football players, but I turned it down because of the "great" high paying job I was in at the time.

Of course, if I'd known I was going to be laid off 8 months later I may have made a different choice. I wonder if I could have kicked a career off that way.

We'll never know now, will we?

My Floors Look Amazing... and other small updates

2009-01-31T14:48:00.001-08:00

I finally finished the wood floors and trim in my home and ... wow. I'll put some pictures up in due time, as I'm relatively certain they'll do little to affect any anonymity I currently enjoy from this blog - I mean, hell, I'm already using my first name.

Work is going very well indeed. We've opened up the nicest new bar in town with a restaurant soon to follow and I'm very excited. I really, really feel privileged to bartend here, and I think this pays off behind the bar. As with anything, the more content you are the more successful you are. Oh, and the money is fucking awesome. There, I said it.

Girl and I have been at one another's throats a bit in the last month, but we're working on this. She's planning a move in the very near (read: days away) future and I may have lost a large bit of my current income so the stress is really, really pushing us apart. But I feel like we're together to help one another THROUGH stress like this and I will do my best towards that end. I love her, she loves me... so we can do it.

School is not going so well so far. I've missed several classes already and am behind. I'm going to spend the next week working VERY HARD to fix this, but I'm afraid that for at least one of my classes I've lost the chance for an 'A'. We shall see.

So. On to read your blog to see what's going on with YOU.

We Got a Braaand Neewww Preeeesident...

2009-01-20T15:28:00.001-08:00

Sung to the tune of the country song, "Brand New Girlfriend."

How have things been with you, dear reader? You're doing well you say? Good to hear. What's that? You're curious as to how Girl and I are doing? Well...

I don't post about her often because I suffer from closet superstition. You know when you're watching a ball game and it comes down to a final, critical field goal and the sportscaster begins talking about the kicker's strong leg and accuracy and how he's sure to make the kick and the ball is snapped, the QB sets the ball, the kicker belts it one and it looks like it's right on and ... it misses a foot left?

Can you believe I posed that long a question to you?

Anyway, that's kinda the superstition I follow. When you say things are going well, fate chuckles at you and throws things in a tizzy. Yes, a tizzy.

But I will say this much and hope fate does not stir the soup of my life with her meddling finger: we are doing very well. Spring Break is right around the corner and we have big plans that I'm quite excited about - I've had TONS of work done to the house, which she seems quite pleased with (no, she doesn't live with me, but we can't leave this town until my house is sold, so anytime the house is improved moods improve proportionately) - and overall we're happy with one another and where our lives are going.

So here's hoping to a long, happy continued relationship.

Now.... off to sling some drinks.

Love,

xxxx

I'm Not Sure I Appreciate The Implications of That Statement

2009-01-15T16:13:00.001-08:00

A local sign reads:

"Organ Donors Make Better Livers."

I appreciate the pun, but I don't appreciate what this implies. Time to go down that bottle of Bacardi...

YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME A-LIVER!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Parad0x No More

2009-01-12T15:59:00.001-08:00

In future posts you'll see the author as James - that's me.

I've decided that I prefer posting and commenting more this way. Why? Who knows.

So if you see comments from James.... well, you know who it be.

Hospital Talk

2009-01-12T10:33:00.001-08:00

I was rear ended yesterday afternoon.

On my way home, some jackass in front of me slammed the brakes for no reason - so we went from 50 to 0 in almost no time flat. Unfortunately, the young lady behind me wasn't prepared for the stop, so she smacked right in to the ass end of my jeep. All was well - except for the fact that her vehicle was totaled.

Unfortunately, I began feeling neck and back pains about an hour after the collision, so I went in to the ER to get checked out. It was nothing serious - to be expected after a rear-end collision, in fact, and the doctor went off to write the prescription for Vicodin.

While he was away I listened to the jabber going on between the nurses in triage - lots of funny things, including one older male nurse singing the "Chicken Wings, hot dogs and beer" anthem and another older female nurse bitching about people being late for their shifts - "If they aren't here when it's time for me to leave, then I'm OUT of here. I don't even care!" ... Another nurse: "I call bullshit!" - but some serious things to.

One conversation in particular that caught my attention was one between the admissions nurse and the older male. "He's 23 years old with an enlarged heart. He took five of these in an attempt to commit suicide. He says he's tired of being sick."

I can't imagine being ready to give up. Wild, huh?

Can't Waiiiit for Spring Breaaaakk...

2009-01-10T20:14:00.001-08:00

The current question is whether to go to South Padre Island or to Las Vegas. Vegas is fun any time of year, so to me the obvious choice is Padre. We shall see, though.

The best thing about Spring Break's oncoming is the motivation it gives me to get back in shape. My diet has changed back to that of a year ago when I was in great shape - and my exercise routine is twice as good, which should mean great results.

Among my many NY resolutions, besides selling my house and graduation (finally!), lies getting in the BEST shape of my life and keeping it that way. Call it a lifelong resolution.

Further great news has come along. Our company is nearly ready to open the new restaurant and dance club they've been building for so long, which means OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE MORE MONEY. What's better than making more money? Making even MORE money!

Anywho, that's my update. THUG LIFE!

Wrong Impression

2009-01-03T14:16:00.001-08:00

Our local newspaper printed it's January 1, 2009 front page with quotes from locals and former locals regarding their New Years Resolutions.

Overall, they were bland, which isn't to say they were without merit - but everyone and their mother wanted to lose weight, be a better person, improve the world and such. In fact, most weren't in any way striking or original - save for one; 12 year old Danita's resolution was to "hope President Obama takes care of us."

Now, I grant that this came from a 12 year old, so the following may be reading too far in to her comments, but is it realistic to assume that her parents have truly been teaching her that it's the President's job to take care of us?

And on a grander scale, is the nation under the misguided impression that it is the government's responsibility to look out for our overall well-being?

I sincerely hope Obama brings change and hope to our country, but while he's handing out hope I expect him to make it quite clear that the government of the United States is not responsible for "taking care" of us - that it's our responsibility to look out for our own well being - and further, that if we allow ourselves as a nation to hand the government the job of taking care of our every need we will be giving up the very principles that have made our nation so great.

</rant>

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T08:45:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year my friends. Here's hoping 2009 is the best we've ever had!

Girl and I spent our New Year at our bar and enjoyed a champagne toast at midnight. Nothing too ritzy, I guess, but considering the amount of money she spent on her vacation it as necessary to save some money and stay in town. Actually, it was quite nice showing her off after 10 days in the Florida sun ;)

I sincerely thought she was going to be the shit out of one of my new bar regulars though - because even after telling her I had a girlfriend she found a way of obtaining my number, apparently through a mutual friend.

Nonetheless, cooler heads prevailed - which is, of course, the right way to start this year off!

Women. Are. Disgusting.

2008-12-28T12:26:00.001-08:00

Seriously - every night we clean the bathrooms, and every night the women's restroom is a thousand times more disgusting than the men's room.

In the guy's room I may have to worry about broken beer bottles and handsoap being splashed all over the mirrors. In the ladies room? Toilet paper on the floor - more often than not covered in BLOOD. For a time the handdryer in the ladies restroom was broken so we subbed in paper towels.

Those paper towels were always ALL OVER THE FLOOR - even when the trashcans (4 of them!) were completely empty! When the dryer was fixed, I didn't even consider leaving the girls the option of using paper towels instead - I have never put paper towels in the bathroom again.

Ladies, you're supposed to be the CLEANER SEX! Why is it that you turn your toilets in to a cess pool after two beers?

Frustrating.

Occupational Hazards

2008-12-27T16:56:00.001-08:00

In my short experience as a bartender I've learned just how glorified the position really is. It's considered an easy job with a rather high rate of pay, dependent, of course, on such things as the venue at which you work.

And I must admit that while remembering drink recipes is pretty simple, and ringing in drinks and taking cash is pretty easy, there are parts to being a bartender that really kinda suck.

Most prominent on the list of occupational hazards is the number of cuts, scrapes, slices, slivers and bruises caused by broken glasses, shattered bottles, and occasionally very physical interaction with overly drunken guests. I swear my hands look different after every shift I work. Boy, that shit is annoying.

But the greatest hazard of all, at least in Texas, is the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission (TABC) - the great enforcers of liquor law in our state. There are severe penalties for serving minors, a pretty easy thing to avoid with proper identification techniques - but then there are the minor issues that cost major money, such as having less than an ounce of liquor in a bottle at any given time, or having a tax stamp missing or damaged on the outside of one.

And then there's the major issue that's often difficult to avoid - overserving guests.

This one scares me the most because of the very aggressive drinking habits of many of our guests, who hop from bar to bar drinking and drinking and drinking and drinking - yet somehow maintaining their composure... until that ONE drink hits them and they get stupid. What's most difficult about it is that when someone comes in drunk from their trips across town and you can't tell and serve them a SINGLE drink, you are STILL completely liable for overserving the patron.

Seems a bit unfair if you ask me.

Anyway, I don't remember what I was getting at with this post - perhaps that bartending ain't as easy as it seems? Yes, we'll stick with that.

The moral of the story, folks, is that bartending isn't as easy as it seems. And also - bring the troops home! That's what this post is all about.

It's The Most Wonderful Time - Of The Year...I

2008-12-26T02:36:00.001-08:00

It was worth it to have worked tonight. I was opening bartender - alone from 2 to 7pm, and bored stiff. We were so slow I was certain I was going to close early, but at 10pm we exploded.

Walked out with 336 tonight. Merry Effin' Christmas!

Night Life

2008-12-21T03:07:00.000-08:00

I've changed my template to one called "Nite Life" because, quite frankly, I find it fitting. I mean, I live it. Which is why I rarely blog of late - I don't often find the inspiration to write at 5:00 AM.

Girl and I are still going strong - unfortunately, she's in FL for Christmas... which sucks, because I'd really love to spend it with her - but I can't be spoiled. She sees her family once a year and I get her the rest of it.

Dad's redeployed to Iraq, which sucks. He'll be back in about six months - but that's a long time from now. Until then I'm going to keep an eye out for my madre.

Life isn't going quite as smoothly as I'd like it to be, at least not as I perceive it. There are some nagging doubts as to the ways in which I'll be paying my mortgage and other bills over the next few months because I had to kick one of my roommates out (formerly refered to in this blog as Bartender, which, ironically, I now am).

However, I still have faith that God's got my back and that somehow I'll manage to make it work, even if a few sacrifices need to be made.

Until then, I'm glad I've got what I've got - in particular my girl. She has really turned out to be quite a blessing.

In the meantime, Merry Christmas to all!

New Jarb

2008-11-13T17:09:00.001-08:00

Sweet beans, I got the job at a new bar.

I haven't mentioned it, but I was beginning to hate my job. Even as the MC of their events, wherein I simply interfaced with other people and drank beer, I would feel dread during the hours before work. All because of our GM - The Desolate One. Arrogant, rude, prick.

So today I quit. Coincidentally, I quit while the owners were busy smashing the HAMMER down on this guy. He's been a bad, baaad person. Methinks it's catching up to him. I hate to say this, but I hope losing me is a big enough loss to make a difference in whether or not they release this prick. A new GM would fix the restaurant right up.

Anyway, love the new jarb so far. I work with some pretty fucking cool people, many of whom I've known for some time but never really gotten to know.

Hoping to make 2009 a helluva year. New president, new jarb, great relationship... new city?

Close Call

2008-11-11T14:10:00.001-08:00

Last night could have really sucked.

I took Girl and her friend - who is leaving Texas for Florida in two weeks - to 6th in Austin last night. Her friend had never been, and I told her there was nothing quite like 6th Street anywhere in the United States.

I was to be the DD. I was not quite as DD as I should have been.

So Girl asked me to pull over. I joked, "If a cop lights up behind me I'm going to be pissed, babe." - I signaled to make a turn in to the shoulder - and as soon as the signal blinked, I was light up.

Great. Very (very) young cop. Perhaps a bit younger than me. So he asked me to step out of the vehicle- did some walking tests, etc. Asked me to put my hands behind my back, cuffed me, seated me - I complied.

He pulls Girl and her friend out of the vehicle - not sure why. It's not illegal to be a drunk passenger. But they complied, because saying "no" meant me going straight to jail.

Then his young buddy shows up.

For the next hour and ten minutes I sit in the back seat watching the girls get hit on. I could hear nothing, but I could see in the officer's body language that they were being flirtatious.

Fortunately, they let us go - waited for our friends to drive fourty-five minutes to pick us up.

Girl said it was like something you hear about on snopes.com - "When are you getting married?" "Are you engaged?" "When is he puttin' a ring on that pretty finger of yours?"

Hell, right before we left he asked me the same thing - "So when are y'all gettin' married?" It's been four and a half months, dude. Jesus.

Nonetheless, we're safe and sound. As my friends said to me yesterday, Thank God I'm with such a beautiful girl.

In other news...

2008-11-04T14:20:00.001-08:00

I found a clip of the commercial I was in recently..

http://www.sammurphey.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=189&Itemid=130

I'm the guy with the girl looking over bills.

Not my fault I look 12. God made me that way.

Eleeection Dayyyyy

2008-11-04T13:29:00.001-08:00

And my choice has been made. Let's hope I don't regret it later.

Thinking of leaving my current job. I've got it made there in some respects - the schedule I want, the MCing of their major events - but I don't feel like that place is for me anymore. So I've applied elsewhere. And methinks I'll BE elsewhere in the near future.

School... is bland and boring. I'm almost done, though. I sometimes wish I'd just taken the opportunity to go to one of the schools far-far-away by whom I was accepted. I feel like if I hadn't stayed so close to home I'd not have taken so long to graduate. But then I wouldn't own this house and have met all these friends...

...but I don't want this house anymore. Just another result of the War in Iraq - me staying here for my mom. I don't regret the decision, though, because I feel I've really made my mom's life a little bit easier. And my life hasn't been so bad in the process. In another year I'll be free to move around as I see fit - and to do so without college debt hanging over my head because the equity in my home will have paid for it all.

Girl and I had sex for the first time in NINE DAYS yesterday. She knows me well. The other day at lunch I came on to her in a way she didn't like - and a way I suppose I've been coming on to her a lot lately... too aggressively. No "love-making" - just "fucking." So she went off on me - "This is why I never want to do it anymore.. You always come at me like this." She apologized later, but I'm stubborn.

So the past five days I've literally been ignoring her sexually. Kisses, hugs - lay down and go to sleep. I've been waiting for her to literally ask ME for sex.

Last night, says she to me with a smile - "Can we please have sex tonight? I'm getting kinda tired of your attitude."

She reads me like a book. But I still win, right?

My 23d year of life is going to be my best. I'm going to graduate college, sell my home, and get the fuck out of this shithole town in which I'm stuck.

Or I'm going to die trying.

I hope I don't regret that last line later.

23 on the 25

2008-10-27T12:05:00.001-07:00

This birthday will go down as among the best I've ever had - Girl truly, truly spoiled me this birthday weekend. Details follow.

She reserved a suite for us at a huge resort in NE Texas - a resort attached to a massive 70,000 square foot indoor waterpark! We got there and spent the day (of the 24th) running around the massive hotel and playing in the superbadass waterpark. This place was family-oriented, so there was a lot of stuff for younger kids to do.

And we did it all.

The park closed at 10PM so we trolled to the bar, one level below our suite, and began the imbibement. The bartender hooked us up - as bartenders tend to do when Girl is at the bar, as she is absolutely gorgeous AND completely unpretentious - and we spent the next two hours getting un-Sober. Afterwards, we returned to our suite with just about fifteen minutes left until I officially turned 23 (and four double-crown and coke ToGo drinks in hand). Girl tells me to go explore the hotel and fills the 32oz collectible margarita glasses we'd procured earlier in the evening with a couple C&Cs. So exploring I go, helping a kid in luggage cart down the hall by pushing him with great haste (by his request, of course!).

When I return to the room, what do I find? Darkness + candles + bubblebath + Girl in an absolutely ravenous red teddy. I'll spare you the details, but the rest of the night was filled with body paint, edible candles, vibrating toys and screaming orgasms.

The next day was spent at the waterpark again - a blast, again. Then we drove to Dallas. Girl had never been before, so the sight of the Dallas skyline was extremely exciting. I took her through Downtown (we'll pretend it was on purpose and had nothing to do with the fact that I was ever-so-slightly lost) where she took the most badass pictures I've ever seen taken on a non-Pro digital camera.

After several hours we found a hotel and went down to Greeneville Ave., which is the equivalent of Austin's 6th street - and got fucking BLITZED. We met some damned cool people, took some awesome pics and enjoyed a helluva KISS revival concert.

My God I love this girl.

Happy Birthday to me! And to CiC :)

New Kids On The Block had a bunch of hits, Chinese food makes me sick.

2008-10-15T10:51:00.001-07:00

The title is obviously from a song - and it's serving as a trivia question for tonight's event. Extra points if you can tell me the name of the song, artist's name AND the year it was released. Hah.

It's another Wednesday and as I prepare for tonight's trivia event I figure it's a good time to get in touch with my blog.

Things are going pretty well - financially I'm surviving. I'm having the wood floors I bought four months ago installed in a week and I'm pruning the rather overgrown redtips in my front yard. I had a termite inspection yesterday - going to have a foundation inspection in a couple weeks... it's time to sell this house. Gotta get rid of the anchor.

Now, the housing market here is moving as slowly as it is anywhere else - BUT - and note that everything hereafter is speculation, nay, HOPE - we're having a massive troop movement in March/April/May. The Army is literally moving 10,000 soldiers from HERE to ANOTHER base - and 10,000 soldiers from THAT base are moving HERE. This means families packing up and moving. This means people wanting to buy property. And I suspect that when they see how much lower the pricetags here are than they are where they're coming from, the housing market here is going to turn in to as CLOSE to a seller's market as it has been in the last decade. I think this is my best chance to get this house off my hands, and I'm afraid if I miss this chance I'm going to be stuck with it for another few years.

And I'm 22 - 23 next week!!! And I'm nearing the end of college. And I want to live life again. I miss home immensely - I haven't been back to Germany for a decade as of this year - and it's time for me to revisit my youth. And time for me to see the country and MORE of the world. Plus, selling the house will alleviate ALL of my debt. If things go well, I'll essentially be starting with a clean slate.

The girlfriend and I are doing quite well. She cut her long, long hair to shoulder-length... and it's gorgeous. I prefered it long, but I definitely can't complain about her new hairstyle. What a beautiful girl she is! Ah, love.

Back to preparing for tonight. Remember kids - eat your veggies.

And I opened the conversation with a lie

2008-10-07T09:15:00.001-07:00

I find it disturbing - no, take that back - HILARIOUS how common it is for people to open communication with others with a bold-faced lie. Bold-faced lie. I decided it was best done literally.

After work the other day, as we were cleaning up the night's mess, one of my coworkers told me he'd popped a couple exo's and a bar just a few hours before and wanted to know how fucked up he looked.

He looked fucked up.

About ten minutes later his girlfriend pulls in to the lot to pick him up. As he opens the door, the first words out of his mouth are...

"Someone slipped something in to my water."

That. Is quite. Funny.

So much time together..

2008-09-23T17:13:00.001-07:00

Girl and I decided today that we were going to work on spending some time apart. We spend almost every minute together and it's having a small impact on our lives - for instance, instead of cleaning my carpet we got together, rented a DVD and smoked.

So we're going to work on focusing on our own lives instead of basing our lives around those of one another.

This is a good thing, I'm sure, but it seems a bit backwards. We've been so infatuated with one another up to now that I wonder what this time apart is really going to do. Is it going to be an out-of-sight, out-of-mind thing? For her? For me? This is the first serious relationship I've had in a while and I admit I'm a bit worried about destroying it so quickly, especially since this girl is so amazing. Maybe I'm being young and naive in even caring about this. I mean, I'm still 22 (almost 23) and the chances of this turning in to anything of particular permanence is slim to none...

Even moreso, I'm probably being naive and overthinking the entire situation. I should just let it ride and see what happens.

Among other stressors is Roommate. I'm going to sit him down when next I see him and explain that rent is due on the first. If he can't do that, he'll need to find a new place to stay. Paying his rent over time is ridiculous and is costing me a lot of money.

Blah. Life is annoying.

Things worked out for the best... again.

2008-09-16T14:17:00.001-07:00

I try my best not to be compulsive, but sometimes I just can't help it.

On Sunday night I had a few drinks and a few bowls and gave IN - I'd promised myself I wouldn't call her because I knew she was spending her last day in her home town seeing her friends - but I called.

She answered immediately, so I was slightly relieved, but a bit on the pissy side. We hung up shortly after and, perhaps bothered somewhat more from knowing she had ready access to her phone, called her right back and grilled her - albeit politely - as to why I hadn't heard from her. Night ruined, I trucked off to Austin with one of my roommates and had some fun. Made me feel much better, and also gave me the time to realize what a douche I was being for no apparent reason.

Anyway, I picked her up from the airport yesterday and I can honestly say that I've never seen two people as happy to see each other again as we were. We were instantly back to where we had been when she left. We walked out of the airport and she stepped forward to hit the elevator, looked back with her gorgeous smile and said, "So you overreacted a little bit yesterday, don't you think Boy?" I said, "Yes, Girl" and that was it - we didn't need to mention it again.

Rewind to just before I arrived to pick her up at the airport. I remember her telling me once that she fell in love with gardenias while she'd lived in Florida and had only seen them a handful of times. She really, really loved the flowers. So last week I ordered some to make an arrangement as a gift to let her know how much I missed her. I spent almost 100.00 on only 3 flowers - filled a bowl with water and jasmine and put the three beautiful gardenias in the middle (they were all pretty impressive specimens, considering they're out of their natural growing season) and voila! I knew I had something she'd like.

Now I dunno if you know this, but gardenias are strong, strong smelling flowers. So instead of bringing them in to the airport and handing them to her at arrival - cliche, no? - I put them in the back seat and closed all the windows to let the sweet smell fill the car.

I opened her door for her, let her in and got in myself and said, "Man, it smells good in here." Says Girl (yes, we really call each other Boy and Girl.), "It really, really does. What is that?"

Right as she sniffs the air freshener I reached back, grabbed my bowl of flowers and placed them on her lap. She looked down at them and just stared. And then she started crying. We held each other for about fifteen minutes in that parking garage while she thanked me over and over again. It was pretty intense - I started crying and shit too. But only a little bit. And I promise you it was totally manly.

I'm so, so stoked to have her back. It's nuts, but I really, really love this girl.

Down

2008-09-14T13:01:00.001-07:00

I woke up this morning and found that last straw that everyone talks about. I walked in to my kitchen and saw that my front-right burner had been left on all night. I also noticed that the sack that held dank in it the night before was empty - and that the knives we use for knife hits had been washed and dried. So I flipped. This is my house and I can't afford to have it burn down because one of my roommates acted irresponsibly. I went to each of their rooms and tried to figure out who'd used the stove. The Roommate that's been here forever said he hadn't - and I believe him because he pays his rent on time and in almost three years hasn't felt the need to lie to me.

Other roommate (formerly Bartender in older posts) said he hadn't done it either. So I walked off, fuming but silent. I planned to drop the issue, but Other walked out professing his innocence - which makes him look more guilty, of course. We got in to quite a fucking argument and left pissed. I'm positive it was him - he's late on rent EVERY month (he's cost me more than half the rent he's paid me in late fees on my mortgage and overdraft fees in checking) and he lies constantly.

If he doesn't pay his rent today he's out.

Also bothering me is that I haven't heard from Girl much since she's been out of state. This is likely nothing, but I guess I'm a bit paranoid because she had to see the boy she loved "more than anyone she's ever loved" at the wedding, reception and afterparty. I didn't expect to hear from her much anyay, seeing as she as IN her best friend's wedding - but at least send a text.

Just a bunch of shit on the ol' noggin right now, I guess.

So much is going on

2008-09-07T14:09:00.001-07:00

and I feel like I have nothing to write about. I kinda wanted this blog to be something more than a day-to-day recounting of events that occured in my life, but because I write about things weeks after they occurred I find that I've lost the "in-the-moment" connection to my stories. It turns out it's pretty hard to remember how you were feeling or what fleeting thoughts were passing through your head unless you write about those things on an as-they-come basis.

So I'll just say that things are going well - girl and I are having fun. She leaves for vacation for a week, and I'm curious about what changes her sudden and absolute absence from my life - for however short a period of time - will bring to our relationship. We've spent nearly every day and night together since we first began seeing one another a few months ago - I can count on one hand the number of times we've been apart - so this will no doubt be a bit of a system shock.

I think it's weird that we spend so much time together, to be honest. Not in a bad way at all - it's just I've never ever been the type to want to spend every minute with the girl I'm with. I'm an independent, gonna-hang-with-the-guys-a-few-times-this-week person, not a spend-every-minute-with-her type. So I guess what I'm saying is it's pretty sweet.

And I also guess deep down inside I'm somewhat afraid that this protracted separation (when compared to the very little time we spend apart, at least... a week isn't a particularly long time for anything at all to happen) will change our feelings about seeing one another so much.

Who knows? I'm no good at this dating stuff - I just prefer not to think about it and see what happens.

This was a pretty damned fulfilling post. Swedish.

Watching girl...

2008-07-28T11:21:00.001-07:00

Soaking, shiny brown hair. Beautiful tan skin - wrapped in a towel on her cell phone talking to her coworker about her company's marketing needs...

Hope she hangs up soon so I can tear that towel off her.