I'm a little bit Jaded

So this new girl and I aren't going to work out.  I've tried to keep it on a fun level but she keeps finding ways to delve in to the serious, serious side of relationships - and I can't take that right now.

 

I considered why after a throughly rousing delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol filled evening.

 

I'm just not quite over my last "relationship."

 

That little bitch was a doozy.  I'm not sure how she managed it, but she got me extremely, extremely caught up in her.  Bad.  And it all ended with me catching her cheating on me in a nearby club by (almost) complete accident.

 

I don't think that really bothered me so much as her repeated protests that "we were never really together anyway.  We're just friends."  This girl constantly told me she wanted me all to herself and led me to believe that we were, in fact, "together."

 

But it was all games with this one.  She's the first (and only) girl I've ever (and will ever) said "I love you" to without meaning it at all.  I used it the same way she did - as a game.  I got so wrapped up in her that I PLAYED her sadistic, psychotic bitch game.

 

Basically, my most recent memory of relationships involves something that was technically non-existent and so filled with hocus bullshit lies it would make your head spin.

 

So sorry Current Girl.  I can't do this right now.

You really don't sound that scary over the phone.

I mean it.  You don't intimidate me with your faux-deep voice, high school vocabulary and your favorite phrase: "Tell me what the fuck is going on."

 

What's going on is this:  you're an idiot.  You messed up your own account.  Now I have the opportunity to fix this tragic error of yours and you have a choice:

 

Continue being a dick or chill the fuck out.

 

"To be or not to be?" really.  That IS the fucking question, douchebag. 

 

So either chill or pay the three hundred fifty dollars in charges you racked up that you don't feel you should have to pay because you "didn't receive the bill for it."

 

One or the other.  Cuz I run this shit.   That's what the fuck is going on.

Pot makes lazy

So lazy I chose to make that an incoherent title, fitting of the laziness I'm trying to describe.

But I deserve a break this weekend.

Went out of town to check out a job fair.  Spoke to a few ladies from contracting companies.  The first was shooing people ahead of me away - was going to do the same thing to me until she read my resume.  Plus I'm bilingual - yes, German counts.  Her words, "I have a feeling a recruiter will be contacting you soon."  Maybe she's being fake.  Maybe not.  Maybe she just wants my bolls een herr mouuff.  Who knows?

Interview today with Major Communications Company for a veritable lateral move.  Four dollar an hour raise, sure - but the same bullshit I've been doing since I was 18.  Have to remember I'm only 21.  The interviewer seemed like she was trying to cover something up with pure bitchiness.  Intimidation?  After reading that, maybe she just thinks I'm a cocky asshole.  But I'm good at this job - great at it - and I know it.  And I know how this organization works now that I'm no longer a stupid 18 year old.  I will play it.

Anyway, she was being unnecessarily snippy.  Trying to scare me.  No ma'am - not a chance.  I opened the door for her - she said, "are you all right?"  What...?  Yes.  I'm fine.  Opening the door for you.  Maybe this org. is weird about it's sexual harassment policy. 

Also - if you're gaming and you don't have the stick get the FUCK out of the gamer chair.  At such time as you relinquish the stick to another, so to do you relinquish the cherished Gamer Seat.

Asshole.  You know who you are.

Small Town Syndrome

I come from a small town.  Well, I don't really COME from this town - I was born and raised in another country and then spent my teenage years in this small town...  so let's just say I GREW UP in a small town.

Anyway, there's a syndrome closely associated to small towns that affects nearly everyone who comes out of them - much like HIV generally infects a child in a mother's womb.

It's called "early marriage and kids."

I'm writing about this today for one reason: I'm seeing more and more of my 20-something friends getting married and having kids. 

Now, there's nothing wrong with settling down and having kids early if that's what you choose to do.  But I notice a huge disparity in the number of people from big cities who settle down young and those from small towns who do the same.  I'd like to make a statistic up here and say that 52.8% of the people I grew up with are married with kids and 22.6 are engaged to be married and/or pregnant - the remainder (whatever percentage that may be - screw fact checking) are either in serious relationships or have been abducted by aliens - or they're me.

Allow me to indulge myself further by making another statistic up - people from nearby Austin, Texas who are in my age group have a much lower rate of married/pregnants - a mere 18.654% (more decimal points mean more accuracy - and accuracy is crucial when one is pulling statistics from ones ass).

Now, we can see two things from these statistics - 1.) They are made up.  and 2.) People in small towns get married a lot sooner than those in big cities.

This brings me to my point.  I know, I know - I went through a lot to get here - but now that we're here, let's enjoy.

Jacob, my closest friend from High School, is getting married.

Jacob is 22 and works at a nearby grocery store.

Now, we're already on the wrong foot here - but here's the shocker.  He's "pretty sure" he's in love with her.  Pretty sure. 

"Why are you doing this, Jakey?" you might ask.  The answer?  "Everyone else at home is doing the same thing!"

God.  Damn. 

</rant>

Man...

I always have SUCH great stuff to write about when I'm in bed.  I say to myself, "Self, you're gonna blog that shizzle tomorrow morning."

Alas, Self tends to forget the content of Self's thoughts leaving me with useless drivel such as this for your entertainment.

 

In other news, I saw some cracked out whores (maybe not whores - probably would have had sex for free) yesterday morning.

 

What a world we live in.