I Killed Someone Today

How's THAT for a dramatic title?

I finished the final Harry Potter book today - finally - and enjoyed it very much. Obviously the most interesting of the series for many reasons, and also the best book in terms of writing and style. Rereading the entire series one will see the evolution JK Rowling has gone through as an author - akin to the difference between John Mayer's pop-rocky Room For Squares CD of old and his grown-up jazz-blues Continuum today.

I think watching this evolution is what makes art so interesting, whether written, sung or drawn.

Speaking of singing - man, Nelly Furtado is hot. Grr.

Per requests from one of my two readers I'm off to Xerox my ass. As for the job - I've got a firm "maybe."

Standing in Line

I hate standing in line.

 

Now, I'm not a particularly nervous person.  Nor do I suffer from low self-esteem.  I'm not paranoid either.  But am I the only one who feels like I'm being watched by the entire world whenever I'm standing in line? 

 

Seriously, I feel like every passerby and sitter-by around has got their beady little eyes focused intently in my direction. 

 

This "attention" makes me think I should be doing something. 

 

So I take action.  I pull out my cell phone.  I look around for no reason.  I fidget with my feet and hands.

 

For no reason.

 

Man do I hate standing in line.

 

 

 

 

Trapped by a Product of my own Device

It's very likely that I'm about to a learn a lesson in reaping what I sow.

 

There's a position open at my company that I've wanted for a long time.  In fact last time it was open I applied and interviewed for it.  At that time there was one candidate more suited to the position than I.

 

Now I'm by far the best pick for the job.

 

Unfortunately, three months ago I got in to the sort of trouble that makes one ineligible for even APPLYING for a new position.  For a year.

Did I mention this trouble occurred three months ago?  You may note that's not quite a year.

 

I'll find out Thursday whether or not I'll be allowed to apply for this position.

 

I'll keep ya posted.

Who the hell thinks up these street names?

"Desert Willow?"

Come on people. Nothing in this town - NOT ONE THING - will back up this street name's assertion that at one time the famed Desert Willow roamed the land.

This ridiculous street name matches the plethora of other ridiculous street names indicative of A Little Big City. You'll note I capitalized each word in that phrase - remember this. This fact will be important later on in this post.

Other examples of ridiculous street names:

Waterproof Drive

Beachball Drive

Sand Dollar Drive

In case you're wondering - yes, all of these street names (including the first one mentioned in this post) are in the same new subdivision.

The cause of these ridiculous names is obvious - developers are creating property here at a rate too quick to support the clearheaded research and review of potential names. They pick a theme and run with it.

I can imagine this conversation occuring during city development meetings - or whatever the hell they call the meetings where the rich guys get together to decide the fate of ... the universe, probably.

Oh, forgot my colon:

"Hey Billy Bob McRich. Good to see you again."
"Good to see you too David McMoney! Don't you just HATE being rich?"
"NOPE!"
"ME NEITHER!"
"My wife wants to decorate our bathroom to fit a beach theme. Coincidentally, we've got a new development coming up. Let's think of the stupidest possible names and PRINT SOME STREET SIGNS!"
"Sweet Jesus! Hey, don't you just hate being rich?"
"I sure do.... ooooon't! HAHAHAAA!"

I have a feeling my imagination isn't far from the truth.

Oh, remember how I mentioned the importance of the capitalization of a phrase earlier? I lied. It wasn't important.

Did it make you read all the way til the end?

Either I'm a genius or our media is too obvious

"Chris Benoit's toxicology report!  Steroids found!"

 

The above was the headline to a Benoit broadcast on CNN's Nancy Grace.

 

All I had to say (and I said it rather loudly - in the middle of a crowded gym) was "DUUUUUUUUUUUH!"  Are you serious?  Forgive me but aren't exclamation points supposed to imply surprise?  Are you surprised?  Because I'm not.

 

Honestly I knew how this would play out from day one.  Once I heard the news I told my friend the following:

 

1. There will be another family murder reported within days of this incident.  It will receive minimal media attention and will in fact only serve to fill in the gap between the report of the Benoit death and the return of the toxicology report.
2. Another wrestler is going to die.  Steroids are going to be implicated as the cause for his death.
3. Someone in wrestling is going to say something like, "We're going to raise our standards!"  Much analysis of this statement will be done by major media.  The analysis will be pointless.
4. The doctor who gave Benoit his steroids will be linked to several more pro wrestlers and athletes.  He will be crucified by the media.  Hw will likely serve jail time (this hasn't happened yet).

I used more casual words than those outlined above but the message is clear - either I'm psychic or the media does the same thing over and over and over and over and over.

 

Hint: I'm not psychic.

 

STUPID MEDIA PEOPLE FACES!