Bad Things

Good news!  Girl and I are back together, and have been now for a few weeks.  I'm very excited about this, as I see it as a fantastic opportunity to find new areas for growth in our relationship.

 

Unfortunately, human nature is getting the best of me.

 

Of late, I am feeling very guilty for my behavior behind the bar.  Excessive flirting, very very dirty talk, and on occasion physical contact (not kissing, sex, etc - but still, inappropriate contact) have become the norm, in particular after having had a few drinks myself.

 

I used to justify this behavior as money-making methodology - and the method has been incredibly successful, no doubt - but I feel like every time I work I slide closer and closer to making a relationship-ending mistake. 

 

The environment of the bar makes things very difficult.  Naturally, I won't drink behind the bar anymore - but intoxication isn't the only thing that comes in to play when I'm at work.  Any man will tell you that when a smokin' hot girl gives you her number, or invites you to do dirty things to her, or shows you her Sweater Kittens (is that still a modern term?  I hope not.) testosterone and horniness levels kick in to high gear.

 

This kind of behavior can't continue if I wish to rebuild and move forward with my relationship with Girl.  So if I can't change the environment itself, methinks it's time to change the environments I'm part of. 

 

Thusly and heretofore, and for what it's worth, forthwith - I set my final day as a bartender at April 17, 2010.  Until such time, all money I earn at the bar will be set aside as a savings buffer.

 

Here's hoping I solve this problem before it becomes a Tiger-Woodsian epic of failure and error.  Because believe me, while I'm no worldwide sports star, news gets around in my community - and if I fuck up, I'll face public scrutiny similar to what Mr. Woods himself faced. 

 

Even if that scrutiny is on a much smaller scale, it will still hurt if I have to deal with it.