Jacked.

Right in front of my eyes, last night.  One girl seems to have, quite literally, taken a tip jar off the bar top.  Another two literally emptied a jar right in front of my face.

I don't know what I was doing that I couldn't see the jars.  Actually, yes I do.  I was taking care of people on a part of the bar that completely blocked out the jars.

But still.  How did I let that happen?  How did WE let that happen?  

This probably cost me about 60.00 - and cost all of us who work for and off those tips - about 200.00.  

Chump change?  Perhaps.  But not to the bar back, who works for 10% of our tips - or the busser, who works for 2%.  

My inattention to detail cost everyone money.  

That's a lot more upsetting than the money I cost myself.

"I don't want to be picked just because I look like a button."

I don't watch Idol very much, but I'm watching it now (a DVR's episode - so if some other genius caught this comment and has already posted the shit out of it, it's nice to see there are people out there as perceptive as me.  Just kidding guys.) and this girl just said, "I don't want to be picked just because I look like a button."

Clearly, one of the judges told her she was cute as a button.  And she thought they told her she was cute because she looked like a button.

I get it, I get it.  She's under a lot of pressure.

But it's still funny.

I don' like, I don' like, I don' liiiikkeeee...

Cocaine.

 

As bartenders, I sometimes feel like we're expected to throw more outrageous parties than the rest of the world - straight-liquor-and-beer parties really do seem pretty plain after spending countless nights making a living slinging them.

 

So our parties tend to go to a higher level, with more drugs and more alcohol than your average bang-up.

 

It's during these parties that I've begun to truly understand how I emotionally and mentally rationalize drug usage.  What drugs I WILL try, and what drugs I won't.

 

Coke is one I won't.  Actually, I stay away from drugs altogether - (Note: Marijuana is not a drug.  It's a plant.) - but I feel particularly strongly about white.

 

A huge bash I attended over the weekend simply reinforced the feeling.  Let me tell you why - and let me start by asking you a question.

 

Ever seen Scarface?  The movie did an exceptional job of capturing that look in someone's eye when they are truly, deeply, spiritually excited about receiving a drug.  The puppy-dog pant-and-beg gimme-please-please-please look that people unconsciously make when they are feening (spelling?) for something.  The clapping-my-hands-yes-yes-yes-yes-I-got-some look that people make when they finally get it.

 

Like they NEED it.

 

Cocaine makes people look like that.  Makes them look pitiful, needful, starving for something that is not ONLY unimportant, but is completely bad for them.

 

I mean, I get stoked when I buy some exceptionally dank weed.  But I don't ever feel like I NEED it.  Like my body DEMANDS I take it in.

 

That looks makes me sick.  So I stay away from the white. 

 

Ugh.

On the eighth day..

..got created the avocado. And he saw that it was right and good.
And he was deeply pleased.