John Mayer

Saw him in Dallas this weekend - SUPER epic.

 

John Mayer, it's official - you have now gotten me laid more than anyone else has, ever.

 

Even myself.

Roald Dahl

With the recent passing of his wife have come some interesting tales of Roald Dahl - you may remember him as the author of James and the Giant Peach and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. 

 

He seems to have suffered several bouts of bad luck.  I've excerpted the most chilling part of the story I read today, a description of the day his young daughter passed:

 

Awful drive. Lorries kept holding us up on narrow roads. Got to hospital. Ambulance went to wrong entrance. Backed out. Arrived. Young doctor in charge. Mervyn and he gave her 3mg sodium amatol. I sat in hall. Smoked. Felt frozen. A small single bar electric fire on wall. An old man in next room. Woman doctor went to phone. She was trying urgently to locate another doctor. He arrived. I went in. Olivia lying quietly. Still unconscious. She has an even chance, doctor said. They had tapped her spine. Not meningitis. It's encephalitis. Mervyn left in my car. I stayed. Pat arrived and went in to see Olivia. Kissed her. Spoke to her. Still unconscious. I went in. I said, "Olivia… Olivia." She raised her head slightly off pillow. Sister said don't. I went out. We drank whiskey. I told doctor to consult experts. Call anyone. He called a man in Oxford. I listened. Instructions were given. Not much could be done. I first said I would stay on. Then I said I'd go back with Pat. Went. Arrived home. Called Philip Evans. He called hospital. Called me back. "Shall I come?" "Yes please." I said I'd tell hospital he was coming. I called. Doc thought I was Evans. He said I'm afraid she's worse. I got in the car. Got to hospital. Walked in. Two doctors advanced on me from waiting room. How is she? I'm afraid it's too late. I went into her room. Sheet was over her. Doctor said to nurse go out. Leave him alone. I kissed her. She was warm. I went out. "She is warm." I said to doctors in hall, "Why is she so warm?" "Of course," he said. I left.

 

If you've had any interest in the man or his writings I recommend you read the rest of the article here.

Making Angels Cry

Yesterday was a horrid day.

 

I decided a few months ago that my feelings for Girl had changed.  Fast forward to yesterday - Girl has been been gone for a bit over a month training for a new job.  She came home looking gorgeous as ever I'd seen her. 

 

While she was flying in, I cleaned her apartment to a point of spotlessness I knew even she'd be pleased with, and purchased an excellent bottle of wine.  Also, a 12 pack of her favorite beer and a few limes. 

 

We hadn't spoken much while she was away, which made this much harder - so when she arrived I met her at a car with a glass of wine and helped her bring her things in.  I wanted to talk to her, see how she'd been - the last thing I wanted was to end two great years with a simple "it's over." 

 

I asked questions, she gave answers - we caught up;  "Talk to me," she said.  "I'm not stupid.  I know you want to break up."

 

I was as clear as I could be with my answers - as clear as anyone looking at a tall, gorgeous, olive-skinned, golden eyed brunette laying on big pillows with tears in her eyes is capable of being - I tried not to pull punches, to tell her just how I felt.

"Just say you don't love me anymore," she said.  "It'll be easier to hear."  I couldn't say that, because I do - so she saved me.  "You're not in love with me."  "I guess that's how it's said," I responded.  

So much happened that it's difficult to catalog - but the one thing I'll never forget is when she said she was going to move to another apartment. 

"Somewhere safer?" I asked.  "Somewhere where everything I look at doesn't remind me of you," she sobbed as she curled in a ball.  

I don't post here much, so I imagine - and maybe hope - no one will read this - but I hope when I look back I remember the dreariness of these moments.  The pain of breaking a heart, watching it happen.  Taking full responsibility for another person's suffering.

It's a memory I'll never take for granted.

 Nobody said it was easy, It's such a shame for us to part. Nobody said it was easy, No one ever said it would be this hard.

Coldplay - The Scientist

Sick. And. Tired.

Big banks will be the death of me.

Shortly after Chase bought two of my credit card accounts, closed them and skyrocketed the interest rate on one I thought Bank of America would be my saving grace in terms of Banks To Do Business With.  Hell, I have two credit cards and a mortgage with them as well as Checking, Savings and Student Loans - surely they will realize the value of my business and won't give me the shaft.

Enter: now.  With my new job and (finally!) increased income I'm ready to really begin paying off my credit cards - my focus in particular is to improve my credit/debt ratio to bump my credit score up.  So I put 800.00 towards my Bank of America card and LO and FUCKING behold..  

I check my balance today and they've REDUCED my credit limit by that 800.00.  I have, in effect, made no change to my credit/debt ratio because Bank of America decided to reduce the credit limit I have had for 5 years and have paid on time, every time.

So.  The time has come to move to another bank.  Preferably a smaller one - probably a credit union, in fact.  Maybe then I will find some sort of CUSTOMER SERVICE.

Until then, I will work to get completely OUT of debt.  I haven't used a credit card in almost a year - I've proven I can live without credit lines completely.  That's my strategy for the future - regardless of what happens economically, if I don't owe anyone anything, no one has any power over me.

Last month...

...I gave my roommate a month free rent (and bought a new dryer at this behest) because he had a huge tax debt.  

This month he's talking about moving out.  

Is anyone else tired of doing favors for other people just to get shit on directly afterwards?

Congrats Phil Mickelson!

Our 2010 Master's champion!  Well played!

Well played, too, Tiger Woods!  Hope to see you on the course again soon!

Boy, they're ALL coming out of the woodwork now...

http://snarkfood.com/more-sources-say-tiger-woods-lied-about-alleged-racist-attack/37666/

 

Things are getting pretty ridiculous.  Suddenly, school officials are refuting a story (published in a book in 2005) by Tiger Woods about racial issues during his upbringing - at a time when Tiger's honesty is most in question.  And Gloria Allred is involved, no less.

 

Personally, I'd have sued about the story when it first came out were I them - not five years later, when everyone ELSE is cashing in on the TW scandal.

 

Wow - lots of posts today.  Can you tell I'm bored at work?

"The truth is, there are some limits to what Government can do."

I don't like these types of statements from Obama (US Is Beginning to Turn Corner, BusinessWeek [http://www.businessweek.com/news/2010-04-02/obama-says-u-s-is-beginning-to-turn-the-corner-produce-jobs.html]).

It's just this kind of mentality that, according to my limited mental capacity, is degrading the United States.  Yet again we see examples of the socialization of Government - even more-so in that Obama can constantly say things like this without fear of being called a Communist.

We've begun to accept this idea.  "Hey, believe it or not - there's SOME stuff Government can't do."  But don't worry - we're working on that.  

Frankly, there should be LOTS of stuff Government can't do.  Unwarranted wiretaps, massive overspending, over-reaching social programs - all huge signs of what the Government has become - the overseer.  The Provider.  Mother and Father.  

I look forward to a day when we can refer to "government" with a lowercase G again - instead of the capital G that has, to now, only been reserved for the highest of powers - God.  

It seems that's what our government thinks it has become.

The most overused word in my department...

Has to be "postal."  "Going postal."  "Went postal."  "Gonna go postal."

Inundated with these terms all day long.  I wonder if I should be worried.  

I might go postal if I hear "postal" one more time.

Story Of The Week

Have you ever seen Superbad?  Well, you're a pussy for just having seen it.  This kid LIVED it!

<p>"The teenager, an aspiring police officer, allegedly wore a uniform and entered a South Side police station through an unlocked back door around 1:30 p.m. on Jan. 24. He was issued a radio and rode with a patrol officer for more than five hours, at times using the terminal in the squad car and responding to five assignments, Weis said."</p>

Dude was 14.  How old must this guy have looked to have gotten away with this?  Did he have a fake beard on or something?  

I find it ironic that the cops who screwed up are getting off on this, but the kid is wearing an electronic monitoring bracelet.  Gotta be tough on crime, right cops?

The whole story here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29498364/

I think it means you're a whore...

The Girls Gone Wild bus has appeared in my town yet again.  I swear the damned thing is here on a monthly basis.  What does that say about the community of women in my town?

I think it might mean they exhibit whore-like traits..  

Call me judgmental.

No... wait.  Don't.

The funniest thing about this healthcare reform...

...is the way people "interpret" it.

News articles across the web are riddled with comments from people who think it's unfair that they will - get this! - be ARRESTED for failure to maintain medical insurance.  Take this insightful comment from CNN.com:

"jryan1085 

My sister cant afford the cost of 100 a month for her and her 2 kids, so now she gets fined and put in jail and her kids get government foster care. TERRIFIC!!"

What?!  

I'm not saying I'm for this medical push - nor am I certain I'm completely against it - but it irks me when people make judgement based on information that was clearly passed along during a game of "Telephone."  Seriously.  Do your research before you get butt hurt.

Communist Tracker

http://www.google.com/prc/report.html#hl=en

Awwweeesssoooome.  Tracking how Communist China is managing Google's decision to chop the fuck OUT.  Naturally, moving their services to Hong Kong won't make the Chinese government happy.  I wonder how long before all of this is blocked?

Mourning a Passing

My first puppy ever died last week at age 10.  She was a beautiful black lab who had a more than healthy love for water - lakewater, kiddie pool water, puddle water...  she will be missed, especially by her brother and sister.

Rest in Peace Boop.

03/16/2010

Healthcare Passed

...I'm not sure if it's a good or a bad thing.  Only time will tell, I suppose.  I can't lie - my healthcare premiums are pretty ridiculous (300.00+ a month) - I don't know how much of an increase I'll be able to afford.  So here's hoping that all the increases those against the bill are touting won't happen.

 

Either way, I'm leery of spending so much more money when we have so much debt and so much trouble on our plates as it is. 

 

 

Tales of an Illegal Immigrant

New realization last night - one of our employees is an illegal immigrant.  (Here's hoping the fed doesn't track me down via this blog to get information out of me!)

 

Upon said realization, I began to grill him.  He's having a surgery for an ulcer next week - we asked him how he plans to pay for it.  He looked at us all and laughed - "You guys going to pay for it!"  Which was really, really funny since we know and like the guy - but gave us all an overwhelming feeling of the debacle the country is currently going through in regards to healthcare and immigration.

 

When asked how he did it, he told us in very broken english:

 

"You pay $2,000 - they take you to a place where you have to walk for t'ree days to get where you go.  Me, I pay $3,000 - and walk for only fifteen minutes."

 

Not only is the illegal immigration market making bu-ku dollars, they seem to be selling these services like Cell Phone plans!

 

Apparently, his cousin who lives in Northeast Texas, only paid the $2,000 and had to take a very, very long hike.

 

"Is it scary," I asked?  He looked indignant - "No, not et all."  "Did anyone from the border patrol see you?"  "Pfft, no one see me." 

 

Yes, folks - it really IS that easy. 

Rat out your tax-cheating friends and neighbors!

Headline News has advised me of ways to blow the whistle on my tax-skipping friends and neighbors!  

Apparently, you can even earn 15% on whatever money the IRS recovers!

Just one more way the government turns us against one another for it's own gain!  

Now you too can anonymously narc your best pals out to The Man!  Just wait til you see the look on their faces as they are hassled by an agent that may or may not have any legitimate basis for visiting outside of your true and/or false accusations of fraud!

Things is a'changin'

Did I tell you I'm a Systems Analyst for a bank now?

 

I don't think I did.  The job's pretty sweet - but it brings a lot of the effects of industry change to light.

 

All of this bank regulation - which I'm all for, by the way - has been a boon to consumers, but could cause quite an upheaval in the banking world.  Particularly so in my relatively small bank, which is fee-based and makes the majority of its fee-money from Overdraft.  Now, you see, customers have to OPT IN to allow overdraft protection (and therefore fees) - and if that doesn't happen, banks lose a lot of their revenue.

 

This lost revenue, if not made up in some other way, is going to end up in lost jobs.  Lost jobs, starting with the new guys like me!

 

Fortunately, I'm part of a very bright team of people working to recover as much lost money as possible - this time through CUSTOMER-FRIENDLY means.  Reducing overdraft fees, creating an overdraft cap and other such consumer-focused strategies are our wave of the future in an effort to resume business as usual, and, in fact, to continue growth. 

 

What amazes me is that these types of strategy weren't implemented before!  Then I remind myself that in a capitalist society (which I enjoy being part of), businesses make as much money as they can in every way possible - human nature, corporate nature, only cares about taking care of their customers needs to the point that it's profitable. 

 

This is why these new banking regulation are in place - and I suspect that these regulation decisions will become among the best decisions the Big Floating Heads have made in a long time.

Bad Things

Good news!  Girl and I are back together, and have been now for a few weeks.  I'm very excited about this, as I see it as a fantastic opportunity to find new areas for growth in our relationship.

 

Unfortunately, human nature is getting the best of me.

 

Of late, I am feeling very guilty for my behavior behind the bar.  Excessive flirting, very very dirty talk, and on occasion physical contact (not kissing, sex, etc - but still, inappropriate contact) have become the norm, in particular after having had a few drinks myself.

 

I used to justify this behavior as money-making methodology - and the method has been incredibly successful, no doubt - but I feel like every time I work I slide closer and closer to making a relationship-ending mistake. 

 

The environment of the bar makes things very difficult.  Naturally, I won't drink behind the bar anymore - but intoxication isn't the only thing that comes in to play when I'm at work.  Any man will tell you that when a smokin' hot girl gives you her number, or invites you to do dirty things to her, or shows you her Sweater Kittens (is that still a modern term?  I hope not.) testosterone and horniness levels kick in to high gear.

 

This kind of behavior can't continue if I wish to rebuild and move forward with my relationship with Girl.  So if I can't change the environment itself, methinks it's time to change the environments I'm part of. 

 

Thusly and heretofore, and for what it's worth, forthwith - I set my final day as a bartender at April 17, 2010.  Until such time, all money I earn at the bar will be set aside as a savings buffer.

 

Here's hoping I solve this problem before it becomes a Tiger-Woodsian epic of failure and error.  Because believe me, while I'm no worldwide sports star, news gets around in my community - and if I fuck up, I'll face public scrutiny similar to what Mr. Woods himself faced. 

 

Even if that scrutiny is on a much smaller scale, it will still hurt if I have to deal with it.

 

 

 

 

It's a small world after all...

By now you've all read of the recent (intentional) plane crash in to the IRS building in Austin, TX.

 

Fortunately, besides the pilot, Mr. Stack, only one other person perished in the incident.  Oddly, that single person happened to be my neighbor's boss. 

 

It struck me (again - because the Ft. Hood shooting was even more close-to-home in that one of my family members actually completed Hassan's final legal paperwork for him before he went on his rampage) how interconnected we are in the United States - and indeed globally.

 

Imagine - only a single soul was lost in this incident, but it affected someone I have known for years very directly.  What are the statistical odds of that?  What were those odds twenty years ago, when the world wasn't quite as small? 

 

I guess my point is this - it doesn't take massive casualties for the loss of life to be far-reaching anymore.  All it takes is one. 

 

I'm not sure if that in some way makes our lives seem more valuable, or if it makes everything seem more pitiful.  But it's something to consider.

 

People in China seem kinda strange...

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE6134TQ20100204?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews&rpc=69

 

This girl is having cosmetic surgery to make her look like Jessica Alba - all in an effort to get the man who SHE dumped back.  Apparently her boyfriend was obsessed with JA (who can blame him?), but seriously..  changing yourself to look like someone else is NUTSO.

 

Sorry lady - you're nucking futs.

In case you were wondering...

The new job is going very well. 

 

For the first time in my working career I feel I'm doing something extremely worthwhile.  I started Monday - and I'm already spearheading four MAJOR initiatives.  It's nice to see that what you're doing is of major importance - my projects impact every aspect of the business, from customer to executive - very satisfying.

 

I'm at work now - so more on this later.

 

In the meantime...  take care of yourselves.  And each other.

 

GO JERRY SPRINGER!

I got it!

Major promotion!!!!

I've begun to realize...

...that I wish, instead of saying goodbye, that I'd told her I just wanted more love.

 

Thank you John Mayer for your insights.

Not fair.

I spent time with the ex last night at her house - we talked and talked and cried and talked.  I left and went home for bed.

 

This morning I woke up after a dream with her in it and couldn't keep myself from driving to her house and falling asleep next to her in her bed.

 

Talk about Heartbreak Warfare. 

 

How horrible of me is that, exactly? 

Improving

So sorry that my blog posts are all getting sappy and lame.  But I've always intended this blog as a sort of time capsule - something I can use to remind myself in a few years of who I was, what I thought, what I experienced...  so this kinda boring and lame filler is what comes of that.

 

Initially, I thought breaking up with my girlfriend would make me want to sleep with all the hotties I've been turning down at the bar for the past year and a half.  I've always held the rather callous belief that the best way to get over the last one is with the next one.

 

As it turns out, that's not what my heart is telling me to do at all.

 

Instead, from DDay on I've been working on self improvement.  Painting the house, gardening, fixing little breaks and tears here and there - and getting myself back in to good shape.

 

That as my mantra, I've put my foot down at work, as well.  I'm in contention for a major promotion - if I get the position, I'll be more or less in charge of a major Intranet project (a big initiative for the company).  Oddly, they have already started me working on the project concurrently with my other responsibilities, and the same pay.

 

Further, they are taking over a month to make a decision.

 

Today I was told that even if I didn't get the position, they want to use my extensive experience in Intranet design to essentially head the project - concurrently with my normal responsibilities, and at the same level of pay.  They considered this a "long-term" thing.

 

I told them today, respectfully, that if I wasn't the best candidate for the position I applied for I'd understand, but would have to move to another organization.  The pay here is too low - much too low to add that additional responsibility to my life without adding numbers to my paycheck (hell, I already work two jobs). 

 

This could make or break the job decision, but part of my improvement is no longer allowing myself to be overworked and overused.

 

Just gotta keep on movin'...

Remembering the Positive

This weekend was one of the most painful experiences I've ever experienced.  Breaking up with someone I love because I can see (and have seen for so very long) how miserable we are, regardless of the feelings we have for one another, was an awful and gut-wrenching process.

 

Of all the thoughts running through my head, though, I try my hardest to focus on what was so great about the beautiful brunette I met on July 4, 2008 and with whom I built a relationship truly built on unconditional love and trust.

 

I was blessed to meet this unjaded girl with a beautiful and loving heart.  She truly believed in giving all of her heart without worrying about the consequences.  When we found each other, she made it so perfectly clear that she was willing to love me with everything she had - and all that she asked in return was that I be careful with her love.

 

For over a year and a half I travelled through life with her.  Man, what a ride.  We had such fun and learned so much together about the world and what it really means to give yourself to someone else completely. 

 

It's sad that life was finally able to catch up to us - that the hard times were too hard for us to ride out.  But was it ever worth the trip.  The joy far outweighs the pain that this end has wrought.

 

She is so stunning inside and out - such a beautiful physical and spiritual specimen - and I don't know that anyone deserves to meet more than one woman like her in a lifetime.

 

But I know that I'll never settle for less than an unjaded girl with a beautiful and loving heart. 

 

And I know that I'm so very thankful for having had her in my life.

D Day

Mere hours ago I broke my best friend's heart.  It was agonizing seeing the beautiful woman I have loved and who has loved me cry.

It was the right thing to do.  But it hurts so much.

Tiger Woods gives $3M

And all these commenters can do is give the guy shit  :http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/abraham/detail??blogid=95&entry_id=55338;

 

It's more of the same across the web.  Apparently, 3 million isn't enough - even though he gave 3 times what Brad and Angelina Jolie gave (combined!) 

 

This is why Tiger isn't going to come out in the limelight.  We are not a forgiving public - we are a public of haters.  Further proof that Tiger's making the right move by staying under the radar.

We're going down... and you can see it, too

All is not well.

 

Girl and I seem to be on the brink.  Several months ago she began a new job which required her to leave for an extended period of time - but that isn't the real issue.  Trouble started months before that, with something simple;  we just became less interested in one another.

 

Sex has gone downhill - from 3 times a day to nearly never.  Little comments are signalling the end - the other night, for instance, I asked her playfully if she loved me.  Her reply - "How can I be in love with someone I never see?" 

 

She denies that she said this now.  How she could forget, I don't know - we weren't at all intoxicated at the time.

 

Today, she asked me why I was being so needy.  Let me note that I am not the needy kind, so little so that she used to complain that I seemed to have no feelings - so this statement was particularly striking.  She asked me why I was with her, if I was so unhappy - though I never said I was.

 

I feel like this may mark the end.  We're both in a time of transition - I'm trying to move out of the area;  she just started a great new job;  now might be the time to close the doors on what has been a fantastic relationship...  before things turn regretably sour.

Zuckerberg's Privacy Comments

The CEO of Facebook is getting a lot of flak for these comments.

 

Apparently, the world is shocked because this kid has figured out the truth about people, whether or not we choose to admit it ourselves - we don't care about privacy anymore.

 

Only when we're accused of not caring - when the fact that most of us gladly put our lives on display for other people to see what we're doing is thrown in our faces - the fact that we're a nation of attention whores is rubbed in our noses - do we suddenly rush to defend our deep and abiding passion for keeping our lives behind closed doors. 

 

But let's be realistic.  We're in the age of Reality TV.  We're in the age of Big Government.  We're in the age of Fear  We gladly exchange our right to privacy for a little press time, a little money - a little more "safety."

 

This kid Mark Zuckerberg (this billionaire kid) is just much smarter than we'd like him to be.  He sees "us" for "us" and he's made a cool billion at a very, very ridiculously young age. 

 

Instead of getting angry at this guy for telling the truth, we should be angry at ourselves for allowing this to become reality.  Back off the whiz kid and start fixing things.

 

Unfortunately, when it comes to doing something beyond complaining our public tends to fail epically. 

 

And it's our own damn fault.

My Girlfriend is Getting Married!

Minka Kelly is getting married to Derek Jeter!

 

She may not remember, but Minka and I met several times on the set of Friday Night Lights a few years back.  I may have misheard (or made it up in my midn completely), but I'm PRETTY sure she agreed to marry ME.

 

To date I've not received any notice of our engagement having ended.

 

Minka, I am not pleased.

Has Anyone Seen This Movie?

   Has anyone seen Apocalypto?  The lead character in this movie has started frequenting my bar recently.  The dude looks pretty epic in the movie, but in real life he's pretty tiny.  Anyway, if you wanted to know what he drinks - double grey goose and cranberry.  If you see him, that's your first step to shmoozing the guy.

 

Lately we've had a few big names come through.  Tommie Harris and a bunch of players from Tampa Bay's Bucs for instance.  THOSE guys were beasts.  You can't understand the sheer size of these guys on the field because they're playing with a bunch of people THEIR size - but when compared to the normal populace, they really stand out.

 

Anyway, that's what's new in my bar.

 

<3

AirTerrorWatchGate 2010

Since the failed attack on a US plane by Abdul Mutallab, hasn't the news been pretty fucking lame?

 

Every single incident at an airport that was once skipped in favor of more interesting and relevant news (eg. Cowboys and UT Football) is now being pumped in to the mainstream.  John Doe caused a scene at the ticketing desk - Bob Johnson had metal in his pockets OMG!

 

These kinds of media circuses are catalysts for the type of government lock-down we're going to see in the near future, and something tells me it's not just going to stop at airport security. 

 

I wish the media would leave well the hell enough alone.  These sensationalist stores are a waste of the pixels they're printed on.