A Thief!?!

3:39 PM / Mixed by Parad0x / Drinks served - (2)

Apparently my douchebag bar manager thinks I'm stealing money from the bar.
 
Why?  Because two days this month our bar sales numbers were low - yet my tips were strong.  Since I've been bartending, I've typically averaged 23-28% of sales in tip.  So if we sell $1000.00, I'll make $280.  Well, Monday was dead - we sold 1550 - and I made $427.00.  When I say 'I', I mean 'we.'  We split our tips based on the hours we were scheduled to work.
 
So what the fuck? 
 
Apparently, HE doesn't get tipped that way so I must be stealing.  Bullshit.  Garbage.  Crap and Dogfuck. 
 
The worst part of all this is that I can't disprove his theory.  Paranoia like that will always stick around - even in six months when he's still found nothing.  And then some busy night in the future I'll forget to ring a beer in and POOF!  All his paranoia has been PROVEN and he was right all along!
 
Bastard.

Oh Em Gee

10:20 AM / Mixed by Parad0x / Drinks served - (2)

I'm the worst blogger on the planet.  Has it really been months since my last post?  Thanks to breathethenexhale for the reminder...


Well, I'm still bartending.  Business is still pretty good - and they've recently passed a law in my city that bans smoking in bars.  My guests bitch and moan and, the faithful servant that I am, I back them up and tell them that I agree, and it IS bullshit that they can't smoke in my establishment anymore.

And then after hours we all sniff our clothes and note that we no longer smell like individual cigar boxes.  And our lungs are probably all the better for it.  

Girl and I are still doing well.  She's a lot more serious about this all than I am, I think.  Is that the way it always works? Someone is always deeper in than the other?  I'm thinking, "I'm 23 with the world ahead of me."  She's thinking: marriage.  But I love her and I know that I can't be forced in to anything - and she wouldn't try anyway - so I'm content.

Four more classes til graduation.  I took a practice LSAT - still not sure on the results.  That's a bitch of a test, by the by.  

Since last we spoke I've also been to Vegas (blasty blast!), been on the lake ninety million times...  oh, and had major AC problems.

If any of you are buying a home soon, this is good to know - there is a line that is connected to your indoor AC unit that takes the condensation that your air conditioner pulls out of the air and drips it outside of the house.  If that line gets clogged, the inside of your house gets flooded.

If you're like me and you just put down wood floors, those floors get destroyed.  And this is exactly what happened to me.  

Anywho, back to life.  Back to reality.  

Much love!

Jacked.

1:06 PM / Mixed by James / Drinks served - (4)

Right in front of my eyes, last night.  One girl seems to have, quite literally, taken a tip jar off the bar top.  Another two literally emptied a jar right in front of my face.


I don't know what I was doing that I couldn't see the jars.  Actually, yes I do.  I was taking care of people on a part of the bar that completely blocked out the jars.

But still.  How did I let that happen?  How did WE let that happen?  

This probably cost me about 60.00 - and cost all of us who work for and off those tips - about 200.00.  

Chump change?  Perhaps.  But not to the bar back, who works for 10% of our tips - or the busser, who works for 2%.  

My inattention to detail cost everyone money.  

That's a lot more upsetting than the money I cost myself.

"I don't want to be picked just because I look like a button."

1:04 PM / Mixed by Parad0x / Drinks served - (0)

I don't watch Idol very much, but I'm watching it now (a DVR's episode - so if some other genius caught this comment and has already posted the shit out of it, it's nice to see there are people out there as perceptive as me.  Just kidding guys.) and this girl just said, "I don't want to be picked just because I look like a button."


Clearly, one of the judges told her she was cute as a button.  And she thought they told her she was cute because she looked like a button.

I get it, I get it.  She's under a lot of pressure.

But it's still funny.

I don' like, I don' like, I don' liiiikkeeee...

10:09 AM / Mixed by Parad0x / Drinks served - (1)

Cocaine.
 
As bartenders, I sometimes feel like we're expected to throw more outrageous parties than the rest of the world - straight-liquor-and-beer parties really do seem pretty plain after spending countless nights making a living slinging them.
 
So our parties tend to go to a higher level, with more drugs and more alcohol than your average bang-up.
 
It's during these parties that I've begun to truly understand how I emotionally and mentally rationalize drug usage.  What drugs I WILL try, and what drugs I won't.
 
Coke is one I won't.  Actually, I stay away from drugs altogether - (Note: Marijuana is not a drug.  It's a plant.) - but I feel particularly strongly about white.
 
A huge bash I attended over the weekend simply reinforced the feeling.  Let me tell you why - and let me start by asking you a question.
 
Ever seen Scarface?  The movie did an exceptional job of capturing that look in someone's eye when they are truly, deeply, spiritually excited about receiving a drug.  The puppy-dog pant-and-beg gimme-please-please-please look that people unconsciously make when they are feening (spelling?) for something.  The clapping-my-hands-yes-yes-yes-yes-I-got-some look that people make when they finally get it.
 
Like they NEED it.
 
Cocaine makes people look like that.  Makes them look pitiful, needful, starving for something that is not ONLY unimportant, but is completely bad for them.
 
I mean, I get stoked when I buy some exceptionally dank weed.  But I don't ever feel like I NEED it.  Like my body DEMANDS I take it in.
 
That looks makes me sick.  So I stay away from the white. 
 
Ugh.

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