Backstabbed

Severely backstabbed at work.  Between two competing companies.  Fortunately, I'm in the right - but I'm angry that company policy was so readily ignored.  Precedents that would make it seem feasible to seek legal action anyone?  I'm not a fan of blathering on in regards to corporate lawsuits but I won't be trampled on.

Seething with rage I be.  But, like, the take-responsible-action rage not that..  you know, other kind. 

In other news, Marilyn Manson is satan.

That is all.

The Birds and Bees

"The point of sex is procreation," Aidan said rather assertively. 

 

 "Nay," said I.  "The point of sex is orgasm." 

 

 "Dude, animals have sex to have kids.  Even humans.  It's part of ensuring our species survives." 

 

"Really?  How many people do you know that have sex and habitually stop before reaching climax." 

 

He looked at me funny.

 

"None."

 

"Funny thing, though - I know people who regularly use some sort of birth control to avoid having children."

 

Aidan flashed a defeated smile and toasted to continual orgasmic enjoyment. 

 

"As always," I reminded him, "I am right.  You are wrong."

Hunting Prey

Women, take heed of this post.  Perhaps it will give you insight in to what guys are thinking when they see you, a sexy, hopefully single woman, in line in public.

 

These are the things we - or maybe just I - pay attention to when you're conversing with your friends.

 

So cute potential single walks in to line.  She's wearing scrubs so she's a nurse of some kind.  I like what I see.  She begins talking to her friend who just happens to be in front of me in line - she gives me a cursory glance and a smile so I pay attention.

 

During their conversation I pick the following sentences out and immediately interpret them, adding the comments relevance to my "talk to her" scale.  If they sound good, I'll talk.  If not, I will move on.

 

Sentence 1:  "Cathy is working my Saturday and Sunday."

My Interp: You have tonight and tomorrow off.  This is great news. 

 

Sentence 2:  "Joann at work is being a real bitch about following rules she says exist.  I've never heard them before.  I'll have to look through the handbook to find out if she's just pulling my chain."

My Interp:  Nice.  You're having problems at work and you don't require the brawn of a man to solve them.  Independence is attractive.

 

Sentence 3:  "Well, I couldn't be at work Tuesday because he had an appointment."

My Interp:  You either have a boyfriend/husband or a kid.  Probably a kid because most men are capable of taking themselves to their appointments which means you could have gone to work.  Either that or you're taking care of your senile father - either way, I'm not ready for the kind of commitment any of these possibilities will inevitably lead you to expect. 

 

That simple.  The lesson here?  Watch what you say ladies!  This girl probably didn't have any reason to watch what she said, but for those of you who are single and looking - we do listen rather intently and will take any off or odd sounding comment as a potential alarm.

 

What fun this game is!

New Age - New Background

In honor of my 22nd I'm changing my blog's background to another one.  This particular design has all the elements I enjoy in webdesign - nice coloring, cool vectors and, perhaps most important of all, someone else's blood sweat and tears.  Not mine.

 

Unfortunately I have some editing to do on the layout as my name is clearly not Marten Timan - although I suppose the name could suffice as a perfect alias in ten years when my being spurned in the corporate world leads me to a life of crime.  Just remember - if you see Marten Timan on the FBI Most Wanted list it probably isn't me.

 

If this loads a bit slow at first it's because all of the images that belong to this design are on imageshack.  I'll have to download the images and move them to another server because the worst possible thing I can imaging occuring involves imageshack's infamous Frogs of Death.  You know the ones - "This image has exceeded it's bandwidth and we are attacking you with frogs because of it."

 

So bear with me and enjoy Marten Timan's hard work. 

I'm a little bit Jaded

So this new girl and I aren't going to work out.  I've tried to keep it on a fun level but she keeps finding ways to delve in to the serious, serious side of relationships - and I can't take that right now.

 

I considered why after a throughly rousing delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol filled evening.

 

I'm just not quite over my last "relationship."

 

That little bitch was a doozy.  I'm not sure how she managed it, but she got me extremely, extremely caught up in her.  Bad.  And it all ended with me catching her cheating on me in a nearby club by (almost) complete accident.

 

I don't think that really bothered me so much as her repeated protests that "we were never really together anyway.  We're just friends."  This girl constantly told me she wanted me all to herself and led me to believe that we were, in fact, "together."

 

But it was all games with this one.  She's the first (and only) girl I've ever (and will ever) said "I love you" to without meaning it at all.  I used it the same way she did - as a game.  I got so wrapped up in her that I PLAYED her sadistic, psychotic bitch game.

 

Basically, my most recent memory of relationships involves something that was technically non-existent and so filled with hocus bullshit lies it would make your head spin.

 

So sorry Current Girl.  I can't do this right now.

You really don't sound that scary over the phone.

I mean it.  You don't intimidate me with your faux-deep voice, high school vocabulary and your favorite phrase: "Tell me what the fuck is going on."

 

What's going on is this:  you're an idiot.  You messed up your own account.  Now I have the opportunity to fix this tragic error of yours and you have a choice:

 

Continue being a dick or chill the fuck out.

 

"To be or not to be?" really.  That IS the fucking question, douchebag. 

 

So either chill or pay the three hundred fifty dollars in charges you racked up that you don't feel you should have to pay because you "didn't receive the bill for it."

 

One or the other.  Cuz I run this shit.   That's what the fuck is going on.

Pot makes lazy

So lazy I chose to make that an incoherent title, fitting of the laziness I'm trying to describe.

But I deserve a break this weekend.

Went out of town to check out a job fair.  Spoke to a few ladies from contracting companies.  The first was shooing people ahead of me away - was going to do the same thing to me until she read my resume.  Plus I'm bilingual - yes, German counts.  Her words, "I have a feeling a recruiter will be contacting you soon."  Maybe she's being fake.  Maybe not.  Maybe she just wants my bolls een herr mouuff.  Who knows?

Interview today with Major Communications Company for a veritable lateral move.  Four dollar an hour raise, sure - but the same bullshit I've been doing since I was 18.  Have to remember I'm only 21.  The interviewer seemed like she was trying to cover something up with pure bitchiness.  Intimidation?  After reading that, maybe she just thinks I'm a cocky asshole.  But I'm good at this job - great at it - and I know it.  And I know how this organization works now that I'm no longer a stupid 18 year old.  I will play it.

Anyway, she was being unnecessarily snippy.  Trying to scare me.  No ma'am - not a chance.  I opened the door for her - she said, "are you all right?"  What...?  Yes.  I'm fine.  Opening the door for you.  Maybe this org. is weird about it's sexual harassment policy. 

Also - if you're gaming and you don't have the stick get the FUCK out of the gamer chair.  At such time as you relinquish the stick to another, so to do you relinquish the cherished Gamer Seat.

Asshole.  You know who you are.

Small Town Syndrome

I come from a small town.  Well, I don't really COME from this town - I was born and raised in another country and then spent my teenage years in this small town...  so let's just say I GREW UP in a small town.

Anyway, there's a syndrome closely associated to small towns that affects nearly everyone who comes out of them - much like HIV generally infects a child in a mother's womb.

It's called "early marriage and kids."

I'm writing about this today for one reason: I'm seeing more and more of my 20-something friends getting married and having kids. 

Now, there's nothing wrong with settling down and having kids early if that's what you choose to do.  But I notice a huge disparity in the number of people from big cities who settle down young and those from small towns who do the same.  I'd like to make a statistic up here and say that 52.8% of the people I grew up with are married with kids and 22.6 are engaged to be married and/or pregnant - the remainder (whatever percentage that may be - screw fact checking) are either in serious relationships or have been abducted by aliens - or they're me.

Allow me to indulge myself further by making another statistic up - people from nearby Austin, Texas who are in my age group have a much lower rate of married/pregnants - a mere 18.654% (more decimal points mean more accuracy - and accuracy is crucial when one is pulling statistics from ones ass).

Now, we can see two things from these statistics - 1.) They are made up.  and 2.) People in small towns get married a lot sooner than those in big cities.

This brings me to my point.  I know, I know - I went through a lot to get here - but now that we're here, let's enjoy.

Jacob, my closest friend from High School, is getting married.

Jacob is 22 and works at a nearby grocery store.

Now, we're already on the wrong foot here - but here's the shocker.  He's "pretty sure" he's in love with her.  Pretty sure. 

"Why are you doing this, Jakey?" you might ask.  The answer?  "Everyone else at home is doing the same thing!"

God.  Damn. 

</rant>

Man...

I always have SUCH great stuff to write about when I'm in bed.  I say to myself, "Self, you're gonna blog that shizzle tomorrow morning."

Alas, Self tends to forget the content of Self's thoughts leaving me with useless drivel such as this for your entertainment.

 

In other news, I saw some cracked out whores (maybe not whores - probably would have had sex for free) yesterday morning.

 

What a world we live in.

Dinner and a Blowjob

How can I refuse?

The correct answer: I cannot.

You know the last time I had a woman that was not only willing, but HAPPY to give me oral even though I couldn't reciprocate thanks to a certain monthly occurrence?

Never. Especially not one as downright fucking hot as this one.

To all my readers - thanks for the comments. I assure you I'll respond as soon as I can.

In the meantime, my penis awaits stimulation.

Life is Spinning

So some crazy stuff is going on in my life... last Thursday our division president came down from on high and let us know our office would be closing in mid-January.

Initially I was a bit relieved - "I hate this place, I hate this job, I hate our stupid customers, I hate I hate I hate" - but these past few days my head has been spinning. I've been tired... exhausted, really. Depressed.

I've done a little introspection and it all boils down to this:

This place is my identity.

This place is why I've been making more money than anyone within ten years of my age since I was 18. This place is why I was able to afford a house at a 5% interest rate at 19 years old. This place is why I'm proud of who I am and what I've achieved. Thanks to this place I've created an entire corporate intranet site from scratch, by myself, from start to finish, at 21 years old.

All of my accomplishments that separate me from everyone else are right here. And I've never been one to like being "just like everyone else."

Losing this job means I may have to start over. I may have to sell my beautiful 4-bedroom 2-bathroom makes-me-look-like-I-make-100k-a-year house. I may have to go back to making $11.00 an hour just like everyone else does. I may, just for a little while, go back to being a part of the "norm."

I have no idea how I'll handle having to create a new identity for myself.

Spin spin spin spin spin spin spin spin ... and end up on my feet anyway.

That's the goal at least.

Wow...

Improper usage of "in lieu" in my last post.  An error that I would normally not allow to pass my editing.  Mom must have made me really mad.

 

My apologies for assaulting your intellect, dear reader.

 

My sincerest apologies.

 

:)