So bored at work...

...that I'm posting from my cell phone. Actually, I write more out of
interest than boredom. I just opened the bar and my first guest was a
woman with an arm brace on. Without me asking (because to be frank, i
hadn't noticed it), she began to fill in the details as to what had
transpired to make her wear the brace. WHat followed was among the
most interesting personal accounts I've heard in some time delivered
in a stream-of-conciousness manner that would've given faulkner pause.
You really can't make this shit up. OH well. Back to tending bar.

So bored at work...

...that I'm posting from my cell phone. Actually, I write more out of
interest than boredom. I just opened the bar and my first guest was a
woman with an arm brace on. Without me asking (because to be frank, i
hadn't noticed it), she began to fill in the details as to what had
transpired to make her wear the brace. WHat followed was among the
most interesting personal accounts I've heard in some time delivered
in a stream-of-conciousness manner that would've given faulkner pause.
You really can't make this shit up. OH well. Back to tending bar.

Hard Times A'Comin'...

I make good money bartending, no doubt.  However, the following facts conspire against me to send me to the poor house!

 

• Electric Bill Balanced Billing DEFFERED BALANCE...  $1,900
• Air Conditioning Units (both in and out) need replaced ...  $3,000++
• IRS Tax Debt... $900.00
• Room Mate May Move...  -$450 to income

I'm a little bit worried. 

 

P.S. I did not realize I was 2,000 in debt to my electric company.  My advice to everyone is to pay more fucking attention to your electric bills.

 

Signed,

 

Douche Bag

Things I Hate

1. Guest: "What draft beer do you carry?"
Me: "Guiness, Blue Moon, Shocktop, Widmer... (continue long, extensive draft list)"
Guest: "I'll have a Bud Light."

2. Guest (I've served five times without tip): "How much is a shot of [Insert Top Shelf Liquor Here]?"
Me: "[Insert price of 7.25+ here]"
Guest: "Awwww mannnn... can you hook me up? Can I get it for 2.00 less?"

3. Loud-Mouthed Guest: "Where's my steak!?!?!"
Me: "It's cooking. Gimme two more minutes."
Loud-Mouthed Guest: "WHERE'S MY STEAK?!?!"
Me: "Okay. Give me five more minutes."

4. Guest: "Do you know how to make a Eukelele-Bruiser-Samstown Martini? As a shot?"
Me: "Never heard of it. What's in it and I'll figure it out for you."
Now Outraged Guest: "HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT THAT IS?!?!?!"

XBOX + Netflix = Genius

Microsoft proves yet again that it is not necessarily the power of the console that makes a winner, but the power of the connections has to get cool add-in's and goodies.  Take THAT, PS3!

I'm an avid gamer and am usually on top of the latest in tech news, but somehow this announcement had slipped my mind:  You can watch streaming movies provided by Netflix ON YOUR XBOX360.

No waiting for DVD's to ship.  Just click a button to add the "Watch Now" movie to your queue and VOILA.  There'tis.

Seriously, I signed up for Netflix again just because the service is badass.  I liked Netflix.  Now I love it.

Until the next technology comes along.  Then I'll cheat.

I'm a cheater.

An Account of Stupidity

Yesterday, there's three drunk guys in my bar.  Well, actually, there were more than that - but let's focus on these three.

Picture: two tall, broad fellows standing down one small fellow - with his shirt off.

The argument?  Whether or not the small guy was an MMA fighter.  To prove that he was, he'd apparently taken his... shirt... off...

I'm confused by what this might have proved, but am please to present to you another Account of Stupidity from your favorite bartender.

I am your favorite, right?  

What a Weekend

I spent the weekend in Austin with a VIP in our area while we both waited for my girlfriend and HIS girlfriend to finish up at a conference they were attending.

 

We toured the capitol, walked around Congress and took in the experience that is Austin.  I'm not used to the Austin area during daylight, so it was a very nice experience.  And listening to this (much older) guy was captivating - he does a lot of work with missile defense and such things for the military, and his job has taken him all around the world.

 

We had experiences in Europe in common - I was born and raised in Germany, and during the first half of my life visited Spain, France, Italy, Holland...  all but the EB countries - but when he spoke of Israel and Lebanon and Jerusalem, I was absolutely astounded.  It was nice to get a take on the world from someone with so much more life experience than me.

 

Afterwards we visited one of the top 10 steakhouses in Texas -- and completely on a whim.  The place we'd planned to eat had an hour wait so I, in a fit of genius, decided we should walk down 5th street and find a place that looked nice.  So we picked Eddie V's Steakhouse.  I should have known it would be expensive when I saw the valet outside, but man...  the 125 tab for two entrees, a side item and a drink ended up being totally worth it.  The blue's singer made the night perfect...

 

Which led to debauchery on 6th street.  Girl went out looking absolutely ravishing, as always.  Many and multifarious were the comments made in her direction - something I enjoy immensely, though I know several dudes who get mad when other guys look at their girls.  My motto -- if I didn't want my girl to be noticed, I wouldn't date a beautiful girl --  can't complain if others notice her!

 

Anyway, VIP paid for me and girl's hotel room in a posh little place where tons of people were staying for an Asian Commerce meeting... 

 

And after a helluva hangover, I went to work and made a few hundred dollars in 7 hours.

 

That's the best way to cap a day off! 

The coolest thing I've ever done...

Friend and I were talking about the coolest thing I've ever done...

And I think it was when I extra'd for Friday Night Lights on NBC.  I met a lot of famous people - who will no doubt never, ever remember me...  but I met Kyle Chandler, whose career has really kicked off since he began that series (with appearances in Grey's Anatomy and movies), all the hot cheerleaders, in particular the one who used to date John Mayer [my fav. artist] and is CURRENTLY dating Derek Jeter...

I was actually offered a full time job on the show as one of the football players, but I turned it down because of the "great" high paying job I was in at the time.

Of course, if I'd known I was going to be laid off 8 months later I may have made a different choice.  I wonder if I could have kicked a career off that way.  

We'll never know now, will we?