Monday, September 28, 2009

Things Just Kinda... Happen

I was recently Wikipedia'ing at work and I saw the news that one of the Manson Family ladies had died in jail.  From that article, I visited the Roman Polanski page and read that he had statutorily raped (does that make sense?) a 13-year-old girl 40 years ago. 
 
Today, it seems Mr. Polanski is in Switzerland under arrest, waiting to hear if the US will send extradition paperwork his way.
 
I bet he curses the day I looked at his Wikipedia page.
 
I'm sorry, Roman!

Friday, September 25, 2009

My oh my, the weather is fine!

My favorite season has arrived, and it's in beautiful, full swing.  65 degrees of wide blue skies, and a smooth autumn breeze.  Best season in Texas.  Winters tend to come later and be much milder here - so while some of you are already seeing snow, I (might) see some around easter.  For a day.
 
I think this year is going to be a rough winter, though.  It seems when the summers are extraordinarily hot, winter is extraordinarily cold.  And this summer was sweltering.
 
Anyway, this is the perfect time to play golf.  Bet the courses are going to be paaaacked!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

La Chancla

You can learn very interesting things when you find the time to sit and listen.  This applies in most earnest to the lives of your coworkers - in this case, our Mexican cooks.  This tale revolves around our bus boy, to whom we refer as La Chancla (the Slipper, in mexo-spanish slang) and how he got his nickname.
 
"You know why we call him Chancla?" says Diego, in his moderately broken English.  "Because when we go to San Antonio, his cousin...  his, how you say, wife?  He make the..."  Diego makes a vulgar hand-and-hip gesture which we men readily translate in to copulation.  "He make the...  with his cousin wife!"
 
"Si!" Elian, our bar back, affirms.  "When we go San Antonio and stay in my house with my girlfriend, I..."  Elian points two fingers at his eyes, and then simulates sending laser beams from them to Chancla.  "Because if I don't, he fuck my girlfriend!"
 
We discussed this at great length, and I was much amused.  For some reason, our cooks open up to me more than our other staff - and this is the kind of stuff that makes me glad to be a people person.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Now We Know Global Warming's Cause

Racism.  The earth is clearly racist.
 
Fucking earth.  Jimmy Carter, save us!

Monday, September 14, 2009

The Handicapped Stall

Working in an office again - and it's an interesting return.  Things never really seem to change between offices, even those of completely different organizations.  Sure, there are small edits to the "Culture" section of your Orientation binder, but they aren't exactly massively different.
 
One thing that never changes is Man's preference for the handicapped stall.  I was just using one to balance my body's food intake/outtake levels, and I heard the guy who walked in behind me mumble, "God DAMMIT..." as he took his place on the throne less spacious than mine.
 
Now THAT shit is FUNNY.
 
No pun.