I got it!

Major promotion!!!!

I've begun to realize...

...that I wish, instead of saying goodbye, that I'd told her I just wanted more love.

 

Thank you John Mayer for your insights.

Not fair.

I spent time with the ex last night at her house - we talked and talked and cried and talked.  I left and went home for bed.

 

This morning I woke up after a dream with her in it and couldn't keep myself from driving to her house and falling asleep next to her in her bed.

 

Talk about Heartbreak Warfare. 

 

How horrible of me is that, exactly? 

Improving

So sorry that my blog posts are all getting sappy and lame.  But I've always intended this blog as a sort of time capsule - something I can use to remind myself in a few years of who I was, what I thought, what I experienced...  so this kinda boring and lame filler is what comes of that.

 

Initially, I thought breaking up with my girlfriend would make me want to sleep with all the hotties I've been turning down at the bar for the past year and a half.  I've always held the rather callous belief that the best way to get over the last one is with the next one.

 

As it turns out, that's not what my heart is telling me to do at all.

 

Instead, from DDay on I've been working on self improvement.  Painting the house, gardening, fixing little breaks and tears here and there - and getting myself back in to good shape.

 

That as my mantra, I've put my foot down at work, as well.  I'm in contention for a major promotion - if I get the position, I'll be more or less in charge of a major Intranet project (a big initiative for the company).  Oddly, they have already started me working on the project concurrently with my other responsibilities, and the same pay.

 

Further, they are taking over a month to make a decision.

 

Today I was told that even if I didn't get the position, they want to use my extensive experience in Intranet design to essentially head the project - concurrently with my normal responsibilities, and at the same level of pay.  They considered this a "long-term" thing.

 

I told them today, respectfully, that if I wasn't the best candidate for the position I applied for I'd understand, but would have to move to another organization.  The pay here is too low - much too low to add that additional responsibility to my life without adding numbers to my paycheck (hell, I already work two jobs). 

 

This could make or break the job decision, but part of my improvement is no longer allowing myself to be overworked and overused.

 

Just gotta keep on movin'...

Remembering the Positive

This weekend was one of the most painful experiences I've ever experienced.  Breaking up with someone I love because I can see (and have seen for so very long) how miserable we are, regardless of the feelings we have for one another, was an awful and gut-wrenching process.

 

Of all the thoughts running through my head, though, I try my hardest to focus on what was so great about the beautiful brunette I met on July 4, 2008 and with whom I built a relationship truly built on unconditional love and trust.

 

I was blessed to meet this unjaded girl with a beautiful and loving heart.  She truly believed in giving all of her heart without worrying about the consequences.  When we found each other, she made it so perfectly clear that she was willing to love me with everything she had - and all that she asked in return was that I be careful with her love.

 

For over a year and a half I travelled through life with her.  Man, what a ride.  We had such fun and learned so much together about the world and what it really means to give yourself to someone else completely. 

 

It's sad that life was finally able to catch up to us - that the hard times were too hard for us to ride out.  But was it ever worth the trip.  The joy far outweighs the pain that this end has wrought.

 

She is so stunning inside and out - such a beautiful physical and spiritual specimen - and I don't know that anyone deserves to meet more than one woman like her in a lifetime.

 

But I know that I'll never settle for less than an unjaded girl with a beautiful and loving heart. 

 

And I know that I'm so very thankful for having had her in my life.

D Day

Mere hours ago I broke my best friend's heart.  It was agonizing seeing the beautiful woman I have loved and who has loved me cry.

It was the right thing to do.  But it hurts so much.

Tiger Woods gives $3M

And all these commenters can do is give the guy shit  :http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/abraham/detail??blogid=95&entry_id=55338;

 

It's more of the same across the web.  Apparently, 3 million isn't enough - even though he gave 3 times what Brad and Angelina Jolie gave (combined!) 

 

This is why Tiger isn't going to come out in the limelight.  We are not a forgiving public - we are a public of haters.  Further proof that Tiger's making the right move by staying under the radar.

We're going down... and you can see it, too

All is not well.

 

Girl and I seem to be on the brink.  Several months ago she began a new job which required her to leave for an extended period of time - but that isn't the real issue.  Trouble started months before that, with something simple;  we just became less interested in one another.

 

Sex has gone downhill - from 3 times a day to nearly never.  Little comments are signalling the end - the other night, for instance, I asked her playfully if she loved me.  Her reply - "How can I be in love with someone I never see?" 

 

She denies that she said this now.  How she could forget, I don't know - we weren't at all intoxicated at the time.

 

Today, she asked me why I was being so needy.  Let me note that I am not the needy kind, so little so that she used to complain that I seemed to have no feelings - so this statement was particularly striking.  She asked me why I was with her, if I was so unhappy - though I never said I was.

 

I feel like this may mark the end.  We're both in a time of transition - I'm trying to move out of the area;  she just started a great new job;  now might be the time to close the doors on what has been a fantastic relationship...  before things turn regretably sour.

Zuckerberg's Privacy Comments

The CEO of Facebook is getting a lot of flak for these comments.

 

Apparently, the world is shocked because this kid has figured out the truth about people, whether or not we choose to admit it ourselves - we don't care about privacy anymore.

 

Only when we're accused of not caring - when the fact that most of us gladly put our lives on display for other people to see what we're doing is thrown in our faces - the fact that we're a nation of attention whores is rubbed in our noses - do we suddenly rush to defend our deep and abiding passion for keeping our lives behind closed doors. 

 

But let's be realistic.  We're in the age of Reality TV.  We're in the age of Big Government.  We're in the age of Fear  We gladly exchange our right to privacy for a little press time, a little money - a little more "safety."

 

This kid Mark Zuckerberg (this billionaire kid) is just much smarter than we'd like him to be.  He sees "us" for "us" and he's made a cool billion at a very, very ridiculously young age. 

 

Instead of getting angry at this guy for telling the truth, we should be angry at ourselves for allowing this to become reality.  Back off the whiz kid and start fixing things.

 

Unfortunately, when it comes to doing something beyond complaining our public tends to fail epically. 

 

And it's our own damn fault.

My Girlfriend is Getting Married!

Minka Kelly is getting married to Derek Jeter!

 

She may not remember, but Minka and I met several times on the set of Friday Night Lights a few years back.  I may have misheard (or made it up in my midn completely), but I'm PRETTY sure she agreed to marry ME.

 

To date I've not received any notice of our engagement having ended.

 

Minka, I am not pleased.

Has Anyone Seen This Movie?

   Has anyone seen Apocalypto?  The lead character in this movie has started frequenting my bar recently.  The dude looks pretty epic in the movie, but in real life he's pretty tiny.  Anyway, if you wanted to know what he drinks - double grey goose and cranberry.  If you see him, that's your first step to shmoozing the guy.

 

Lately we've had a few big names come through.  Tommie Harris and a bunch of players from Tampa Bay's Bucs for instance.  THOSE guys were beasts.  You can't understand the sheer size of these guys on the field because they're playing with a bunch of people THEIR size - but when compared to the normal populace, they really stand out.

 

Anyway, that's what's new in my bar.

 

<3

AirTerrorWatchGate 2010

Since the failed attack on a US plane by Abdul Mutallab, hasn't the news been pretty fucking lame?

 

Every single incident at an airport that was once skipped in favor of more interesting and relevant news (eg. Cowboys and UT Football) is now being pumped in to the mainstream.  John Doe caused a scene at the ticketing desk - Bob Johnson had metal in his pockets OMG!

 

These kinds of media circuses are catalysts for the type of government lock-down we're going to see in the near future, and something tells me it's not just going to stop at airport security. 

 

I wish the media would leave well the hell enough alone.  These sensationalist stores are a waste of the pixels they're printed on.