So much time together..

Girl and I decided today that we were going to work on spending some time apart.  We spend almost every minute together and it's having a small impact on our lives - for instance, instead of cleaning my carpet we got together, rented a DVD and smoked.

 

So we're going to work on focusing on our own lives instead of basing our lives around those of one another.

 

This is a good thing, I'm sure, but it seems a bit backwards.  We've been so infatuated with one another up to now that I wonder what this time apart is really going to do.  Is it going to be an out-of-sight, out-of-mind thing?  For her?  For me?  This is the first serious relationship I've had in a while and I admit I'm a bit worried about destroying it so quickly, especially since this girl is so amazing.  Maybe I'm being young and naive in even caring about this.  I mean, I'm still 22 (almost 23) and the chances of this turning in to anything of particular permanence is slim to none... 

 

Even moreso, I'm probably being naive and overthinking the entire situation.  I should just let it ride and see what happens.

 

Among other stressors is Roommate.  I'm going to sit him down when next I see him and explain that rent is due on the first.  If he can't do that, he'll need to find a new place to stay.  Paying his rent over time is ridiculous and is costing me a lot of money.

 

Blah.  Life is annoying.

Things worked out for the best... again.

I try my best not to be compulsive, but sometimes I just can't help it.

 

On Sunday night I had a few drinks and a few bowls and gave IN - I'd promised myself I wouldn't call her because I knew she was spending her last day in her home town seeing her friends - but I called.

 

She answered immediately, so I was slightly relieved, but a bit on the pissy side.  We hung up shortly after and, perhaps bothered somewhat more from knowing she had ready access to her phone, called her right back and grilled her - albeit politely - as to why I hadn't heard from her.  Night ruined, I trucked off to Austin with one of my roommates and had some fun.  Made me feel much better, and also gave me the time to realize what a douche I was being for no apparent reason. 

 

Anyway, I picked her up from the airport yesterday and I can honestly say that I've never seen two people as happy to see each other again as we were.  We were instantly back to where we had been when she left.  We walked out of the airport and she stepped forward to hit the elevator, looked back with her gorgeous smile and said, "So you overreacted a little bit yesterday, don't you think Boy?"  I said, "Yes, Girl" and that was it - we didn't need to mention it again.

 

Rewind to just before I arrived to pick her up at the airport.  I remember her telling me once that she fell in love with gardenias while she'd lived in Florida and had only seen them a handful of times.  She really, really loved the flowers.  So last week I ordered some to make an arrangement as a gift to let her know how much I missed her.  I spent almost 100.00 on only 3 flowers - filled a bowl with water and jasmine and put the three beautiful gardenias in the middle (they were all pretty impressive specimens, considering they're out of their natural growing season) and voila!  I knew I had something she'd like.

 

Now I dunno if you know this, but gardenias are strong, strong smelling flowers.  So instead of bringing them in to the airport and handing them to her at arrival - cliche, no? - I put them in the back seat and closed all the windows to let the sweet smell fill the car.

 

I opened her door for her, let her in and got in myself and said, "Man, it smells good in here."  Says Girl (yes, we really call each other Boy and Girl.), "It really, really does.  What is that?"

 

Right as she sniffs the air freshener I reached back, grabbed my bowl of flowers and placed them on her lap.  She looked down at them and just stared.  And then she started crying.  We held each other for about fifteen minutes in that parking garage while she thanked me over and over again.  It was pretty intense - I started crying and shit too.  But only a little bit.  And I promise you it was totally manly.

 

I'm so, so stoked to have her back.  It's nuts, but I really, really love this girl.

Down

I woke up this morning and found that last straw that everyone talks about.  I walked in to my kitchen and saw that my front-right burner had been left on all night.  I also noticed that the sack that held dank in it the night before was empty - and that the knives we use for knife hits had been washed and dried.  So I flipped.  This is my house and I can't afford to have it burn down because one of my roommates acted irresponsibly.  I went to each of their rooms and tried to figure out who'd used the stove.  The Roommate that's been here forever said he hadn't - and I believe him because he pays his rent on time and in almost three years hasn't felt the need to lie to me.

 

Other roommate (formerly Bartender in older posts) said he hadn't done it either.  So I walked off, fuming but silent.  I planned to drop the issue, but Other walked out professing his innocence - which makes him look more guilty, of course.  We got in to quite a fucking argument and left pissed.  I'm positive it was him - he's late on rent EVERY month (he's cost me more than half the rent he's paid me in late fees on my mortgage and overdraft fees in checking) and he lies constantly.

 

If he doesn't pay his rent today he's out.

 

Also bothering me is that I haven't heard from Girl much since she's been out of state.  This is likely nothing, but I guess I'm a bit paranoid because she had to see the boy she loved "more than anyone she's ever loved" at the wedding, reception and afterparty.  I didn't expect to hear from her much anyay, seeing as she as IN her best friend's wedding - but at least send a text. 

 

Just a bunch of shit on the ol' noggin right now, I guess.

So much is going on

and I feel like I have nothing to write about.  I kinda wanted this blog to be something more than a day-to-day recounting of events that occured in my life, but because I write about things weeks after they occurred I find that I've lost the "in-the-moment" connection to my stories.  It turns out it's pretty hard to remember how you were feeling or what fleeting thoughts were passing through your head unless you write about those things on an as-they-come basis.

 

So I'll just say that things are going well - girl and I are having fun.  She leaves for vacation for a week, and I'm curious about what changes her sudden and absolute absence from my life - for however short a period of time - will bring to our relationship.  We've spent nearly every day and night together since we first began seeing one another a few months ago - I can count on one hand the number of times we've been apart - so this will no doubt be a bit of a system shock.

 

I think it's weird that we spend so much time together, to be honest.  Not in a bad way at all - it's just I've never ever been the type to want to spend every minute with the girl I'm with.  I'm an independent, gonna-hang-with-the-guys-a-few-times-this-week person, not a spend-every-minute-with-her type.  So I guess what I'm saying is it's pretty sweet.

 

And I also guess deep down inside I'm somewhat afraid that this protracted separation (when compared to the very little time we spend apart, at least...  a week isn't a particularly long time for anything at all to happen) will change our feelings about seeing one another so much.

 

Who knows?  I'm no good at this dating stuff - I just prefer not to think about it and see what happens.

 

This was a pretty damned fulfilling post.  Swedish.