Story Of The Week

Have you ever seen Superbad?  Well, you're a pussy for just having seen it.  This kid LIVED it!

<p>"The teenager, an aspiring police officer, allegedly wore a uniform and entered a South Side police station through an unlocked back door around 1:30 p.m. on Jan. 24. He was issued a radio and rode with a patrol officer for more than five hours, at times using the terminal in the squad car and responding to five assignments, Weis said."</p>

Dude was 14.  How old must this guy have looked to have gotten away with this?  Did he have a fake beard on or something?  

I find it ironic that the cops who screwed up are getting off on this, but the kid is wearing an electronic monitoring bracelet.  Gotta be tough on crime, right cops?

The whole story here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29498364/

I think it means you're a whore...

The Girls Gone Wild bus has appeared in my town yet again.  I swear the damned thing is here on a monthly basis.  What does that say about the community of women in my town?

I think it might mean they exhibit whore-like traits..  

Call me judgmental.

No... wait.  Don't.

The funniest thing about this healthcare reform...

...is the way people "interpret" it.

News articles across the web are riddled with comments from people who think it's unfair that they will - get this! - be ARRESTED for failure to maintain medical insurance.  Take this insightful comment from CNN.com:

"jryan1085 

My sister cant afford the cost of 100 a month for her and her 2 kids, so now she gets fined and put in jail and her kids get government foster care. TERRIFIC!!"

What?!  

I'm not saying I'm for this medical push - nor am I certain I'm completely against it - but it irks me when people make judgement based on information that was clearly passed along during a game of "Telephone."  Seriously.  Do your research before you get butt hurt.

Communist Tracker

http://www.google.com/prc/report.html#hl=en

Awwweeesssoooome.  Tracking how Communist China is managing Google's decision to chop the fuck OUT.  Naturally, moving their services to Hong Kong won't make the Chinese government happy.  I wonder how long before all of this is blocked?

Mourning a Passing

My first puppy ever died last week at age 10.  She was a beautiful black lab who had a more than healthy love for water - lakewater, kiddie pool water, puddle water...  she will be missed, especially by her brother and sister.

Rest in Peace Boop.

03/16/2010

Healthcare Passed

...I'm not sure if it's a good or a bad thing.  Only time will tell, I suppose.  I can't lie - my healthcare premiums are pretty ridiculous (300.00+ a month) - I don't know how much of an increase I'll be able to afford.  So here's hoping that all the increases those against the bill are touting won't happen.

 

Either way, I'm leery of spending so much more money when we have so much debt and so much trouble on our plates as it is. 

 

 

Tales of an Illegal Immigrant

New realization last night - one of our employees is an illegal immigrant.  (Here's hoping the fed doesn't track me down via this blog to get information out of me!)

 

Upon said realization, I began to grill him.  He's having a surgery for an ulcer next week - we asked him how he plans to pay for it.  He looked at us all and laughed - "You guys going to pay for it!"  Which was really, really funny since we know and like the guy - but gave us all an overwhelming feeling of the debacle the country is currently going through in regards to healthcare and immigration.

 

When asked how he did it, he told us in very broken english:

 

"You pay $2,000 - they take you to a place where you have to walk for t'ree days to get where you go.  Me, I pay $3,000 - and walk for only fifteen minutes."

 

Not only is the illegal immigration market making bu-ku dollars, they seem to be selling these services like Cell Phone plans!

 

Apparently, his cousin who lives in Northeast Texas, only paid the $2,000 and had to take a very, very long hike.

 

"Is it scary," I asked?  He looked indignant - "No, not et all."  "Did anyone from the border patrol see you?"  "Pfft, no one see me." 

 

Yes, folks - it really IS that easy. 

Rat out your tax-cheating friends and neighbors!

Headline News has advised me of ways to blow the whistle on my tax-skipping friends and neighbors!  

Apparently, you can even earn 15% on whatever money the IRS recovers!

Just one more way the government turns us against one another for it's own gain!  

Now you too can anonymously narc your best pals out to The Man!  Just wait til you see the look on their faces as they are hassled by an agent that may or may not have any legitimate basis for visiting outside of your true and/or false accusations of fraud!

Things is a'changin'

Did I tell you I'm a Systems Analyst for a bank now?

 

I don't think I did.  The job's pretty sweet - but it brings a lot of the effects of industry change to light.

 

All of this bank regulation - which I'm all for, by the way - has been a boon to consumers, but could cause quite an upheaval in the banking world.  Particularly so in my relatively small bank, which is fee-based and makes the majority of its fee-money from Overdraft.  Now, you see, customers have to OPT IN to allow overdraft protection (and therefore fees) - and if that doesn't happen, banks lose a lot of their revenue.

 

This lost revenue, if not made up in some other way, is going to end up in lost jobs.  Lost jobs, starting with the new guys like me!

 

Fortunately, I'm part of a very bright team of people working to recover as much lost money as possible - this time through CUSTOMER-FRIENDLY means.  Reducing overdraft fees, creating an overdraft cap and other such consumer-focused strategies are our wave of the future in an effort to resume business as usual, and, in fact, to continue growth. 

 

What amazes me is that these types of strategy weren't implemented before!  Then I remind myself that in a capitalist society (which I enjoy being part of), businesses make as much money as they can in every way possible - human nature, corporate nature, only cares about taking care of their customers needs to the point that it's profitable. 

 

This is why these new banking regulation are in place - and I suspect that these regulation decisions will become among the best decisions the Big Floating Heads have made in a long time.