So some crazy stuff is going on in my life... last Thursday our division president came down from on high and let us know our office would be closing in mid-January.
Initially I was a bit relieved - "I hate this place, I hate this job, I hate our stupid customers, I hate I hate I hate" - but these past few days my head has been spinning. I've been tired... exhausted, really. Depressed.
I've done a little introspection and it all boils down to this:
This place is my identity.
This place is why I've been making more money than anyone within ten years of my age since I was 18. This place is why I was able to afford a house at a 5% interest rate at 19 years old. This place is why I'm proud of who I am and what I've achieved. Thanks to this place I've created an entire corporate intranet site from scratch, by myself, from start to finish, at 21 years old.
All of my accomplishments that separate me from everyone else are right here. And I've never been one to like being "just like everyone else."
Losing this job means I may have to start over. I may have to sell my beautiful 4-bedroom 2-bathroom makes-me-look-like-I-make-100k-a-year house. I may have to go back to making $11.00 an hour just like everyone else does. I may, just for a little while, go back to being a part of the "norm."
I have no idea how I'll handle having to create a new identity for myself.
Spin spin spin spin spin spin spin spin ... and end up on my feet anyway.
That's the goal at least.
3 comments:
sometimes change forces us to make difficult decisions that ultimately make us better people. maybe this will be one of those type of changes for you. good luck!
It happened to me and it was probably the best thing EVER. You'll see, your identity may be wrapped up in that but after all the pieces fall? You'll be fine.
Good luck but I don't think you'll need it.
I feel your pain. Let's drink to both of us finding our identity again SOON!
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