I come from a small town. Well, I don't really COME from this town - I was born and raised in another country and then spent my teenage years in this small town... so let's just say I GREW UP in a small town.
Anyway, there's a syndrome closely associated to small towns that affects nearly everyone who comes out of them - much like HIV generally infects a child in a mother's womb.
It's called "early marriage and kids."
I'm writing about this today for one reason: I'm seeing more and more of my 20-something friends getting married and having kids.
Now, there's nothing wrong with settling down and having kids early if that's what you choose to do. But I notice a huge disparity in the number of people from big cities who settle down young and those from small towns who do the same. I'd like to make a statistic up here and say that 52.8% of the people I grew up with are married with kids and 22.6 are engaged to be married and/or pregnant - the remainder (whatever percentage that may be - screw fact checking) are either in serious relationships or have been abducted by aliens - or they're me.
Allow me to indulge myself further by making another statistic up - people from nearby Austin, Texas who are in my age group have a much lower rate of married/pregnants - a mere 18.654% (more decimal points mean more accuracy - and accuracy is crucial when one is pulling statistics from ones ass).
Now, we can see two things from these statistics - 1.) They are made up. and 2.) People in small towns get married a lot sooner than those in big cities.
This brings me to my point. I know, I know - I went through a lot to get here - but now that we're here, let's enjoy.
Jacob, my closest friend from High School, is getting married.
Jacob is 22 and works at a nearby grocery store.
Now, we're already on the wrong foot here - but here's the shocker. He's "pretty sure" he's in love with her. Pretty sure.
"Why are you doing this, Jakey?" you might ask. The answer? "Everyone else at home is doing the same thing!"
God. Damn.
</rant>
7 comments:
EEEK! Pretty sure? That's appalling.
And now I know why you said I was pregnant. A pox on you my friend! That was just wrong!!!
But I meant it in a congratulatory way!
<3
Sometimes when I think back on when I got married, I wonder if it wasn't a matter of thinking there were no other options left.
People that grow up in (as I did) and stay in small towns typically set the bar really low. I saw so much of that growing up that it scared the hell out of me. Still does when it comes to my own kids. I encourage them to leave after high school. It's not because I don't love them. It's because I do.
my home town suffers from this syndrome as well. of 5 close girl friends growing up, three are married, one divorced, two have kids, and one has been in a relationship for 5 years, just hasn't gotten married because she is a lesbian. that leaves ME. i've got the degree. almost two of them, in fact... the travel, the adventure, the friends, the stories, the fun.
and there are definitely times i wonder if i made the right choice, because at one time i had the option of the guy and the marriage... but i gave it up for all of the above.
i would never trade in anything, but i suppose there is something beautiful in the simplicity of not knowing what you're missing out on. my friends at home hear my stories and sometimes i get off in a sick way on their reactions to my craziness. kind of like, ha, i got out of there an you didn't. of course, you have a baby and loving husband... but i know the flip side is that they're struggling with debt and outward appearances aren't all that they seem and all those other things that EVERYONE struggles with.
sigh. you live the book of your own writing.
Mike - I see a lot of my friends getting married young and I can't help but come to any other conclusion. They think they're out of options because they haven't seen anything but the inside of their little town.
CiC - I guess you play the hand you're dealt, but I'd much rather have my fun life than that of a family man. At least for now.
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I think this sort of stuff happens because there is NOTHING to do in small towns. It's the thing to do, the ONLY thing to do. Besides get drunk and party every weekend.
Kids and a spouse will keep you busy and give you purpose, even if it isn't your ideal purpose... it's better than idling your days away, slowly starting to feel worthless.
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