Great weekend.

My sexlife is always in one of two states - ON or OFF.  I don't remember a time where it was inbetween.  I'm either getting hit on a lot for a stretch, or I'm not getting hit on at all.

 

After five months of OFF, the switch seems to be back in the ON position.

 

This weekend a friend of mine in the Big City gave me a call.  Apparently, her friend was in town and she was on a mission - to get laid.  And said friend thought we'd be the perfect match.  Unfortunately, I had to work - but after a bit of coaxing and seeing a few pictures I made the decision to call in to work sick.

 

Smart man, I am!

 

I met up with another friend at a party at an unnamed club (because that's giving away anonymity a biiiit too much) and hung around til Friend and her girlfriend came around.  Friend's friend was wearing a stunning blue dress that covered the MOST AMAZING ASS I HAVE -EVER- SEEN.  In person, anyway.  Seriously, I asked Friend if the dress was somehow padded, because there was no way in hell a white girl could have an ass like that.

 

--  SIDESTORY --

 

Almost ended up in a fight at this club.  I sat down next a stunning brunette who I'd spoken to earlier in the night.  We were chatting quite amicably until some random douchebag stood in front of us and began cutting me off every other sentence.  After a few minutes more of chatting betwixt SB and I, friend Douchebag asks her if she wants a shot.  "Sure," she says, and begins talking to me again.  Seconds later, "Umm..  can we take it AT THE BAR?"  So she walks to the bar with him, says a few words and leaves the club in a huff.

 

Now, you may not know this about me - but I'm a really, really chill guy.  Few things push my buttons.  But one thing that DOES push my buttons is intentional disrespect.  So I walked up to DB, who was standing at the bar alone, and said "Nice pull, there, buddy."  Says he, with looks a-smug, "Yeah, ya like that?"

 

Quoth I, "No.  You're a fucking douchebag.  A rude prick.  We were having a perfectly pleasant conversation until you felt inclined to 'save' her.  Fucking douchebag." 

 

Quoth he ....  nothing.  He walked away from the bar.

 

Apparently he's a smart man as well.

 

-- END SIDESTORY --

 

Anyway, we hit up another, brand-new bar (very nice, by the way - you should check it out.  And no, I won't tell you what it was called  :-)), got far drunker, met some cool new kids and went home.

 

And that, my friends, is where, a few hours later, I would see the most amazing backside ever.  Oddly enough, she was pretty self-conscious about it the entire time - but seriously guys, it was perfect.  Look up "perfect butt" on Google images and look at the Jill Scott image.  And then imagine a better one.

 

Fortunately, I got to see it again the next morning  ;)

 

So yeah, that's it.  I had a great weekend.  Pointless, moral-free (in fact, possibly amoral) story.

 

Because, as you know, that's how I roll.

 

<3

** Edit **

I feel inclined to mention that this girl's body was a 10 - not just her ass. Breasts, hips, flat stomach... all aaaaamazing.

I just have an ass-fixation.

<3