The Day After My Birthday

...today was a train wreck.

 

Girl was scheduled to fly out today at 7:00 am - we got a hotel fifteen minutes from the airport to ensure she could make it on time - and we missed the flight.  Then, on my way home, I got a flat tire.  On the highway.  In the driving rain. 

 

It gets worse.

 

I lost my wallet last week, and spent all the cash I had on hand during my birthday.  And my gas gauge hit empty.  I got to a gas station and - get this - it took me an HOUR and FORTY FIVE MINUTES to find someone who would help me out with five dollars to get home!  I don't blame them, I guess - I was dressed in sweat pants, a black wife beater and a beanie - and was SOAKED, thanks to the tire change.  I looked every bit the bum. 

 

Then, with five dollars in my gas tank (I drive a V8 and had a fifty mile drive home) I got stuck on the interstate behind traffic.  Unfortunately, it seemed someone had a worse day than me, because there was a car crushed Final Destination style by wood that had apparently fallen off a freight truck.  So I feel worse for them than for me - but it was hell driving fifty miles on five dollars - I barely made it.

 

Anyway, the birthday weekend itself was awesome.

 

Oh, and MALACH!  I STARTED A BAR FIGHT, PER YOUR SUGGESTION!

 

Well, I didn't start it.  I did, however, finish it!

 

So happy 24 to me!  And happy early Bday to Counsellor/BigTopWorld!

 

 

I'ma Lucky Bastid

I was just thinking that my work situation (though exhausting) is pretty damn lucky.

 

I work two jobs and work WITH about 20 people practially elbow-to-elbow between them.  I don't have a single enemy, or so much as someone I don't really like.  How lucky is that?

 

Anyway, this'll be my last post at the age of 23.  Next time I have something to say, I'll be the grand ol' age of twenny-fo!

I think my issue with the bar...

...may have less to do with tips, and more to do with the extreme amounts of sexual tension I experience there.

 

For all intents and purposes, I've become among the "it" bartenders in town - which isn't to say that I have lines waiting outside the club door just dying to get to me...  but the notoriety certainly lends itself to excessive female attention.

 

Now that your ego-meter reading for me is in the "HUGE head" position, allow me to continue.

 

For the entire tenure of my bartending career at this bar, I've been the with the same lady.  I have been completely and utterly faithful for the entire year and a half we've been together.  To be honest, bartending and our relationship were never at odds - but lately we've been fighting more and more and life has added more and more stress (family issues, job issues...  they all seem to get more serious the older you get)...

 

And in between all this, for the past month, two SUPER fine girls from Hooters have been trying their damndest to have a threesome with me.  The South American bartender with the huge tits, ass and tiny waist and incredible accent has been trying to get me to come over.  The short, sexy brunette from the bank has been trying to "get to know me better."  The ridiculously perfectly proportioned Panamanian girl has been trying to get my attention...

 

And others.

 

They leave nothing to the imagination.  NOTHING.  In their drunken tirades they explain the terribly sexy things they would like to do to me. 

 

It's like the first crack in every dam you see in cartoons.  They keep pushing and pushing and pushing - hoping that eventually, the dam is going to give way.  Naturally, I won't.  But I'm 23 (24 tomorrow!!!) and the attention is difficult to ignore.

 

I refuse to give in - but it sure does frustrate me that I can't sometimes.

 

Maybe that's NOT my issue with the bar.  Maybe it IS that sometimes people leave horribly shitty tips - but I already feel better having written this out, so I'm guessing there's more to it than money.

 

 

 

 

My floor guys...

...think we're gay.

Someone spelled "gay buttsex" with the magnets on my refrigerator.  The floor dudes are acting funny now.  But the floors look good!

This is great news...

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-medical-marijuana20-2009oct20,0,7401028.story?track=rss

 

The Federal Government is changing their targets for cannabis cultivation in weed-legal states.  Of course, the strategy all along should have been to go for the guys trafficking harder drugs and guns along with the innocent Herb, but LATE is always better than never.

 

I suspect it'll be another 50 years before cannabis is legalized throughout the country - and I anxiously await that day.  By then I doubt I'll be smoking it at all, but just because I won't be involved with it doesn't mean others who choose to imbibe should be persecuted for it.

I thought slavery had been outlawed...

... And then I became a bartender.  

Listen, bars have been around for a long time and tipping is not a new concept.  There is no longer an excuse for consistently leaving  absolutely nothing.  You didn't know?  You've been here ten times.

Further, don't ask for a stronger drink.  You got a fair pour and you didn't even deserve that.  No, you cheap fuck, you can't have more.  No, I won't "hook you up".  You've never seen me before but other bartenders usually give you more?  I've been here four days a week and have never seen your scrub ass so fuck off.

If you don't tip, don't be surprised when you're the last of twenty to get served.  I'm here to make money.  Would a mortgage broker waste time with someone they couldn't qualify?  Would a car salesman?  No.

I don't derive pleasure from assisting your intoxication.  I just like to eat.  

So this one's for you, no tippers.  May your pours be short, and may your beers be pure head.  Fuck.  You.

Obama Gets the Peace Prize

...why?
 
I support Obama because he's our President.  I certainly see him as a ray of hope for our nation because of his youth and vigor, and the way these traits change the world's perception of our nation.
 
But what did he win the Peace Prize for?

According to Wikipedia, the prize is awarded to, "the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses."  Obama is WORKING on it, sure...  but what has he actually accomplished?
 
Nine months in, he's a Peace Prize winner.  I think the Awards Committee may have seriously tarnished their reputations by making such a premature judgement.
 
It's the Obama Syndrome all over again.  I discussed it briefly before the election - the "Obama is going to fix everything for us" mentality seems to have spread beyond the United States and in to the hearts and minds of committees that should be the least affected by it.
 
I think the award will be beneficial to the US.  It casts him in that much better a light - and by extension, makes the United States look more like the beacon of hope it has long been pronounced as. 
 
But that doesn't make the award justified. 

Just ordered me...

...a Sprint Palm Pre.

 

http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2338899,00.asp#