Sucks. I've purposely avoided trying to get laid all the time in order to focus on more important things - like getting totally blazed. And school and work, of course.
See, this semi-constant state of being really baked has tamed my otherwise overzealous sex drive amazingly well. I have fewer "relationship" problems - probably the result of not being in a relationship for, oh... all year. My phone doesn't ring at ALL hours of the night because someone needs a widdle bit of attention (there IS a cost to sex. They call it "paying attention" for a reason!) My text messages aren't counted in the five-or-six-thousands per month - which is also great.
However, indulging in the green must be slowed. How unfortunate - I have other priorities to manage. Such as peeing in a cup.
This means I'm going to want to get laid more and more and more and more and more. This also means spending time to "spit game" at the local women. But as you may remember (if you're the .5 person that reads this blog - statistics don't lie people!) I'm not a big fan of the local women. Because they all know each other. EVERY. LAST. ONE. If I explained to you the amount of times I've been CB'd (read: cock blocked) by some jealous ex I'd fill a book.
So this leaves me at a crux.
The solution is simple. All my female readers should come and put out immediately.
Thank You.
5 comments:
Ahhh peeing in a cup ... what a joy, huh?
Where do live again? ;)
Brilliant idea. Let me know if it works. I may steal your idea.
just keep blazing.
Sara: Yes, yes. The joys. In the great state of Tejas - next time you're within 500 miles gimme a call! ;)
Mike: I'll let you know. I mean... I won't let you know because that would be rude.
But I'll let you know. You know.
CiC: When the cup has been passed I'll be right back to it. Life is so much easier when one doesn't worry so much about procreation.
I would require dinner first, and some money, lots of money, and my Husband and I would get to move in with you and you could support us.
I have amazing ideas.
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