Things to avoid on a first date

I found myself reading through a variety of blogs that catalogued bloggers' first dates and relationships (as all good blogs inevitably will at some point in their existence) and began to remember and dissect MY previous first dates.

Here are a few of the mistakes I made that may have ended it all immediately had I not been charming enough to save myself:

1. Don't tell your date anything you wouldn't tell an interviewer

It took me some time and some help to realize that the first mistake I consistently made on dates was letting said date too deep in to my life. For example...

I took a girl on a nice first date to a brand-new "upscale" (this is Texas, people) steakhouse that had just opened. As it turned out one of my exes from WAYYY back in the day was our waitress. My date discussed her disdain for said ex/waitress and I said...

"Yeah, we have quite a history together. She was my first back in high school."

What?!?! What on EARTH made me say this? Talking about losing my virginity to someone my date hated?!

This lesson doesn't just apply here, though. Remember - a first date is essentially an interview. The job in question generally involves sweat and animal noises, but it's an interview nonetheless. Would you tell your potential employer such personal things about your past?

No. You and your interviewer are not yet friends. You don't yet know each other. Keep your date at a bit of a distance until you're sure it's going somewhere, or it probably won't.

Besides, spilling all the beans on your first date will ruin any material you have for the second.


2. Don't let her talk the whole time

Seriously. Don't. Even if she seems like she wants to.

One date in which I committed this offense comes to mind.

She was a talkative one and continued on and on and on and on about her goals, the things she wanted to accomplish, who she wanted to be and such...

...and being the polite guy I am I let her.

I didn't get a second date.

Weeks later when I saw her at our mall I asked exactly what had happened. "You didn't say anything, " she said. "You were completely silent so I felt like I had to fill in the blanks to avoid an awkward pause."

The entire time she'd been looking towards me to cut her off and discuss myself. This brings up two points:

a.) Women don't always want to talk about themselves. They want to hear about you as well (at least 1/16th of the time).
b.) Women want a man who has the balls to take control of the conversation. A simple and polite segue in to a discussion about your life/interests/etc. shows those balls and will keep her interested.


Perhaps more of these to come. Always good to catalogue lessons such as these so I can use them for my OWN next-first-date.