I've spent the majority of my professional career as a customer service representative. I know the ins and outs of the job, I know the nuances, I know how frustrating it can be to talk to a stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid customer...
...and I know when I'm being played for a fool.
Today my bank tried to pull my punk card and in doing so almost lost every penny I had with them.
Again.
It all began with an incorrectly applied fee. It was obviously incorrect. It was clearly a mistake. It should have been easy to fix.
It took me seven phone calls and two supervisors to get what I wanted done. Wanna know what speech got me what I wanted? Nay, what I DESERVED (along with a lower APR for life)!
"One of two things is happening here:
a.) You don't give a damn about my money and you don't care whether or not you have me as a customer so you're saying "screw you, goodbye."
or
b.) You see I was born in 1985, imagine that I am one among the majority of 21-year-olds who doesn't understand consumer rights and bank responsibilities.
Now, let's slash option A. If you didn't care about my money you'd just give me this damn credit I already deserve and this conversation would have ended six calls ago.
That means you think I'm a stupid 21 year old. Your bank thought that once when I was nineteen and I told you (with a rather immature smirk on my face - but you couldn't see it, so who cares?) you would regret your decision to ignore my reasonable request.
Know what I did that year? That year that you thought I was another-stupid-19-year-old-that-didn't-get-the-world-and-could-be-worked-over-easily.
I bought a house - through someone ELSE. They're making THOUSANDS a year in interest on my home and you're not.
Fix my problem or - and I say this with a slightly immature smirk on my face - I'll get rid of you completely."
Not only was the charge they couldn't remove removed (it was invalid anyway! They KNEW it was!) I was also given a low-low fixed rate APR.
How the meek has become the master, eh?
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