Only children get a lot of crap because of this overwhelming assumption that they "always get their way." Apparently these children - and yes, I am among the poor bastards - are quick to anger because they've been coddled all their lives by parents whose only goal in life was to take care of their only Unique Snowflake.
This is quickly followed by quips pointing out that because they grew up with siblings they are better adjusted for the world because they have magically learned to be selfless.
I'd like to call bullshit. and I have mentally labored for one/many hour(s), renumerating my enumerations and such, in order to do so.
Yes - only children do take "not getting their way" a little harder than others.
But not because you sibling'd bastards are special little snowflakes.
Only children simply aren't used to the many variables introduced by the addition of brothers and sisters in to a family.
Think about this - most plans go awry because something "came up." That THING is generally an issue that has occurred in some OTHER person's life:
- Grandma Got Sick
- We had to visit grandma in the hospital
- We missed the hockey game.
Now, if you have siblings the likelihood of things going wrong grows exponentially with the addition of each family member. Sister #1 broke her leg, Sister #2 pissed mom off, Brother #3 got caught beating off in the azaleas again. And each of these things can really screw your plans up.
Over time you've gotten used to this because, well, things happen to people all the time.
Only children, God Bless Them, do not have as many variables and therefore automatically run a slimmer risk of having their plans ruined. This means such children may not be quite as used to fuck ups as they grow older.
This does not mean you, oh haver of siblings, are more giving or kind or generous than me. Nor does it mean that I'm more selfish and needy than you.
It simply means we're both products of our environment. Unfortunately, your environment produced a dick-headed, pretentious, condescending ugly stuck up prick and mine produced an angel.
But that's your problem.
Asshole.
6 comments:
Wow, got some issues there?
This is meant to be humorous, not serious :)
I would have been an only child if my parents hadn't caught me trying to sell my sister to the Gypsies.
love the analysis. i too am and only... and i think it is pretty apparent from my personality, as many a new introductee has asked me within 15 minutes whether i'm the only...
it isn't my fault that comprehending the love of a brother or sister is beyond me... but i own the fact that my personality probably is a little bit more intolerable of other people's shit.
so shoot me. i have a whole set of issues of my own, ok?
have you found that many of your "best" friends are only children, or have only one sibling to whom they aren't very close?
This is the funniest and most true article I have ever read on only children. I love it. I am also a only child and I married a guy with siblings and I am constantly catching bull crap about being spoiled when that is the furtherest thing from the truth. Considering I was dirt poor. Love the article hope you write more.
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