Well, someone from my shitbag little down made it...

Keith Null had his first NFL start last night.  I was a year older than him, but he was way much mo' bigger than me.  And now it seems to be paying off for you.  I played basketball with him JV, if I remember.  He was a pretty good ball player, too.

 

Awesome seeing someone I went to school with starting in the NFL.

Having your cake and eating it, too?

http://www.theboombox.com/2009/12/18/chris-brown-says-twitter-was-nothing-but-trouble/

 

Note to Chris Brown.  You can't both be a woman-beater AND a crybaby. 

Ugh...

It looks like I was right.

 

Headlines everywhere read "Tiger is a Cheetah!"  And jokes abound about Tiger being unable to stay in his cage.

 

I hope Tiger says absolutely nothing about the incident.  Fuck everyone who thinks he owes them ANYthing.

 

All he owes the US is to continue winning golf tournaments around the world.

 

Get to it Tiger.  And no more tourney skipping.

Tiger Woods Hospitalized!

http://sports.espn.go.com/chicago/news/story?id=4693657

 

NoooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I just hope he didn't do anything that could land him jail time.  I don't think I could handle a week's worth of headlines which were in some way a variant of a "Tiger in the Cage" metaphor.

Things have changed a bit...

...but not as much as I'd expected.

 

I figured the change would be as drastically noticeable as the day after 9/11, but things aren't as obviously uncomfortable as they were then.  News analysts are calling this the biggest single killing event to occur since September 11, and pointing out that its the biggest killing of this kind in US military history (which is significant, I suppose, because the US military is nearly 300 years old).  But things seem to be going on business-as-usual around town. 

 

I have to wonder - is it because this community is so desensitized to the idea of death that this is almost normal? 

 

The real test will be at work this evening.  I'll have the opportunity to talk to a lot of people that were closely involved in the incident, and I suspect I'll hear some interesting stories. 

 

Terrible tragedy...

Today sucks.  It seems what happened in our community is all over the news, so you probably know what I'm talking about.  A lot of my bar regulars work in the building that was attacked (members of my family usually do, too, but were not present today for various reasons, thank God) and I'm praying they're all okay.

 

These things can happen anywhere, it seems.  This town's going to be locked down for a little while.

 

Pray for the victims and their families, por favor.

Reality TV

Turns out one of my friends is (was) on the show, For the Love of Ray-J.  That's kinda funny. 

 

She's back home, but I guess the episodes that are running are ones she's still in.  I've never been inclined to watch this tripe, but now that I know someone ON the show...  it seems less tripe-y.

 

Which it shouldn't.  Because it's still garbage. 

 

Still gonna watch every show now!  Hah!

Depressed...

Four years ago, when I began college, I was making just shy of $70k per annum.

 

Four years later I'm a month away from graduation, and I'm working TWO jobs to just BARELY eek out $45K.

 

What the fuck is going on here?  I'm tired of working two jobs and going to school! 

 

Blah.  Boo. Boo.  Puppyfuck.

The Day After My Birthday

...today was a train wreck.

 

Girl was scheduled to fly out today at 7:00 am - we got a hotel fifteen minutes from the airport to ensure she could make it on time - and we missed the flight.  Then, on my way home, I got a flat tire.  On the highway.  In the driving rain. 

 

It gets worse.

 

I lost my wallet last week, and spent all the cash I had on hand during my birthday.  And my gas gauge hit empty.  I got to a gas station and - get this - it took me an HOUR and FORTY FIVE MINUTES to find someone who would help me out with five dollars to get home!  I don't blame them, I guess - I was dressed in sweat pants, a black wife beater and a beanie - and was SOAKED, thanks to the tire change.  I looked every bit the bum. 

 

Then, with five dollars in my gas tank (I drive a V8 and had a fifty mile drive home) I got stuck on the interstate behind traffic.  Unfortunately, it seemed someone had a worse day than me, because there was a car crushed Final Destination style by wood that had apparently fallen off a freight truck.  So I feel worse for them than for me - but it was hell driving fifty miles on five dollars - I barely made it.

 

Anyway, the birthday weekend itself was awesome.

 

Oh, and MALACH!  I STARTED A BAR FIGHT, PER YOUR SUGGESTION!

 

Well, I didn't start it.  I did, however, finish it!

 

So happy 24 to me!  And happy early Bday to Counsellor/BigTopWorld!

 

 

I'ma Lucky Bastid

I was just thinking that my work situation (though exhausting) is pretty damn lucky.

 

I work two jobs and work WITH about 20 people practially elbow-to-elbow between them.  I don't have a single enemy, or so much as someone I don't really like.  How lucky is that?

 

Anyway, this'll be my last post at the age of 23.  Next time I have something to say, I'll be the grand ol' age of twenny-fo!

I think my issue with the bar...

...may have less to do with tips, and more to do with the extreme amounts of sexual tension I experience there.

 

For all intents and purposes, I've become among the "it" bartenders in town - which isn't to say that I have lines waiting outside the club door just dying to get to me...  but the notoriety certainly lends itself to excessive female attention.

 

Now that your ego-meter reading for me is in the "HUGE head" position, allow me to continue.

 

For the entire tenure of my bartending career at this bar, I've been the with the same lady.  I have been completely and utterly faithful for the entire year and a half we've been together.  To be honest, bartending and our relationship were never at odds - but lately we've been fighting more and more and life has added more and more stress (family issues, job issues...  they all seem to get more serious the older you get)...

 

And in between all this, for the past month, two SUPER fine girls from Hooters have been trying their damndest to have a threesome with me.  The South American bartender with the huge tits, ass and tiny waist and incredible accent has been trying to get me to come over.  The short, sexy brunette from the bank has been trying to "get to know me better."  The ridiculously perfectly proportioned Panamanian girl has been trying to get my attention...

 

And others.

 

They leave nothing to the imagination.  NOTHING.  In their drunken tirades they explain the terribly sexy things they would like to do to me. 

 

It's like the first crack in every dam you see in cartoons.  They keep pushing and pushing and pushing - hoping that eventually, the dam is going to give way.  Naturally, I won't.  But I'm 23 (24 tomorrow!!!) and the attention is difficult to ignore.

 

I refuse to give in - but it sure does frustrate me that I can't sometimes.

 

Maybe that's NOT my issue with the bar.  Maybe it IS that sometimes people leave horribly shitty tips - but I already feel better having written this out, so I'm guessing there's more to it than money.

 

 

 

 

My floor guys...

...think we're gay.

Someone spelled "gay buttsex" with the magnets on my refrigerator.  The floor dudes are acting funny now.  But the floors look good!

This is great news...

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-medical-marijuana20-2009oct20,0,7401028.story?track=rss

 

The Federal Government is changing their targets for cannabis cultivation in weed-legal states.  Of course, the strategy all along should have been to go for the guys trafficking harder drugs and guns along with the innocent Herb, but LATE is always better than never.

 

I suspect it'll be another 50 years before cannabis is legalized throughout the country - and I anxiously await that day.  By then I doubt I'll be smoking it at all, but just because I won't be involved with it doesn't mean others who choose to imbibe should be persecuted for it.

I thought slavery had been outlawed...

... And then I became a bartender.  

Listen, bars have been around for a long time and tipping is not a new concept.  There is no longer an excuse for consistently leaving  absolutely nothing.  You didn't know?  You've been here ten times.

Further, don't ask for a stronger drink.  You got a fair pour and you didn't even deserve that.  No, you cheap fuck, you can't have more.  No, I won't "hook you up".  You've never seen me before but other bartenders usually give you more?  I've been here four days a week and have never seen your scrub ass so fuck off.

If you don't tip, don't be surprised when you're the last of twenty to get served.  I'm here to make money.  Would a mortgage broker waste time with someone they couldn't qualify?  Would a car salesman?  No.

I don't derive pleasure from assisting your intoxication.  I just like to eat.  

So this one's for you, no tippers.  May your pours be short, and may your beers be pure head.  Fuck.  You.

Obama Gets the Peace Prize

...why?
 
I support Obama because he's our President.  I certainly see him as a ray of hope for our nation because of his youth and vigor, and the way these traits change the world's perception of our nation.
 
But what did he win the Peace Prize for?

According to Wikipedia, the prize is awarded to, "the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses."  Obama is WORKING on it, sure...  but what has he actually accomplished?
 
Nine months in, he's a Peace Prize winner.  I think the Awards Committee may have seriously tarnished their reputations by making such a premature judgement.
 
It's the Obama Syndrome all over again.  I discussed it briefly before the election - the "Obama is going to fix everything for us" mentality seems to have spread beyond the United States and in to the hearts and minds of committees that should be the least affected by it.
 
I think the award will be beneficial to the US.  It casts him in that much better a light - and by extension, makes the United States look more like the beacon of hope it has long been pronounced as. 
 
But that doesn't make the award justified. 

Just ordered me...

...a Sprint Palm Pre.

 

http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2338899,00.asp#

Things Just Kinda... Happen

I was recently Wikipedia'ing at work and I saw the news that one of the Manson Family ladies had died in jail.  From that article, I visited the Roman Polanski page and read that he had statutorily raped (does that make sense?) a 13-year-old girl 40 years ago. 

 

Today, it seems Mr. Polanski is in Switzerland under arrest, waiting to hear if the US will send extradition paperwork his way.

 

I bet he curses the day I looked at his Wikipedia page.

 

I'm sorry, Roman!

My oh my, the weather is fine!

My favorite season has arrived, and it's in beautiful, full swing.  65 degrees of wide blue skies, and a smooth autumn breeze.  Best season in Texas.  Winters tend to come later and be much milder here - so while some of you are already seeing snow, I (might) see some around easter.  For a day.

 

I think this year is going to be a rough winter, though.  It seems when the summers are extraordinarily hot, winter is extraordinarily cold.  And this summer was sweltering.

 

Anyway, this is the perfect time to play golf.  Bet the courses are going to be paaaacked!

La Chancla

You can learn very interesting things when you find the time to sit and listen.  This applies in most earnest to the lives of your coworkers - in this case, our Mexican cooks.  This tale revolves around our bus boy, to whom we refer as La Chancla (the Slipper, in mexo-spanish slang) and how he got his nickname.

 

"You know why we call him Chancla?" says Diego, in his moderately broken English.  "Because when we go to San Antonio, his cousin...  his, how you say, wife?  He make the..."  Diego makes a vulgar hand-and-hip gesture which we men readily translate in to copulation.  "He make the...  with his cousin wife!"

 

"Si!" Elian, our bar back, affirms.  "When we go San Antonio and stay in my house with my girlfriend, I..."  Elian points two fingers at his eyes, and then simulates sending laser beams from them to Chancla.  "Because if I don't, he fuck my girlfriend!"

 

We discussed this at great length, and I was much amused.  For some reason, our cooks open up to me more than our other staff - and this is the kind of stuff that makes me glad to be a people person.

Now We Know Global Warming's Cause

Racism.  The earth is clearly racist.

 

Fucking earth.  Jimmy Carter, save us!

The Handicapped Stall

Working in an office again - and it's an interesting return.  Things never really seem to change between offices, even those of completely different organizations.  Sure, there are small edits to the "Culture" section of your Orientation binder, but they aren't exactly massively different.

 

One thing that never changes is Man's preference for the handicapped stall.  I was just using one to balance my body's food intake/outtake levels, and I heard the guy who walked in behind me mumble, "God DAMMIT..." as he took his place on the throne less spacious than mine.

 

Now THAT shit is FUNNY.

 

No pun.

Ultimate Explosi0n Fight Battle Part One!1!

Remember how my bar manager accused me of stealing?

 

Well, Saturday he did it again!  I served (and cashed out) five shots, and he whooshed by me and said, "Where the fuck are those shots?"  I said, "They're paid out, dude."  He said, "Prove it."  I found the receipt, slapped him on the back (he's a full 6 inches taller than me) and yelled, so the whole bar could hear me - totally worth it by the way! - "Better luck NEXT time, buddy!!!"

 

He took me to the back and got in my face.  I think he realized I was going to knock his big ass the fuck out, because he backed up and asked me to talk to him out back.

 

I said to him among the meanest things I've ever said to anyone in my life.  Horrible, wretched things like how much I hated working with him, how I thought he was a garbage human being;  how I think it's bullshit that he's an asshole on PURPOSE...  but much meaner than that.

 

Man.  I felt great.

 

Anyway, let that be a lesson to you guys.  Don't accuse me of stealing, or I'll say really, really mean things to you!

 

 

Texas Weather

There are many things about Texas that are different from the country I grew up in - (namely Germany);  the dead grass everywhere...  the flat land...  the lack of thousand year old castles randomly bespeckled about hilltops...  oh, and the massive rivers cutting through rolling hillcountry.

 

But I tell you, there are few things in Texas as awe-inspiring as the weather we see here.  I was driving along the highway last night watching the massive black storm clouds plowing their way to the edge of our city, and I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the intensity of it all.  The electrical storms we have here are wild - thick white bolts of lightning hammering down to earth from the dense blackness above stirs something in me.

 

I dunno..  but I think our weather could kick your dad's weather's ass.

 

 

Responsibility Behind the Bar

My Friday shift gave me a solemn reminder as to why my judgement, and my subsequent use thereof, is very important to my trade.  The choices I make in service can mean the difference between a fantastic bar visit or disaster...

 

Remember I said that Friday looked busy?

 

My first six guests were a group of soldiers who had literally just stepped off the plane from Afghanistan.  They hadn't had a drink in 15 months, they said - a fact that, in retrospect, was an important one for me to notice - and were just looking to enjoy the sweet nectar that they'd been deprived of in that desert hell.

 

Hours went by and these fellows were having a blast - one in particular.  This fellow was buying round after round after round for himself and his friends.  Eventually, the majority of his friends ducked out.  Our friend tabbed out, left me a 55.00 tip and went out to smoke. 

 

He came back in with a few more friends and reopened his tab, and the day continued - he tipped me 40.00 more (a fact that may have clouded my judgement further) and I kept serving him.

 

Now, fellow is a solidly built guy.  He came in sober, ate a huge meal full of protein in the form of chicken, rice, etc.  All signs that mean "go" in my experience.

 

But after fifteen months, ones alcohol tolerance diminishes completely - and after a 16 hour flight in, exhaustion had no doubt set in to him, furthering his likelihood of rapid intoxication.

 

Naturally, by the end of his visit he as schmammered.  He began becoming belligerent, melodramatic and violent all at once - and was asked to leave.

 

Fourty five minutes later he was in the parking lot surrounded by his friends passed out.

 

An hour and a half later he was in a squad car for threatening a mall cop - and those guys are dicks anyway.

 

Essentially, my failure to properly assess his tolerance and my inability to properly pace him landed him some time in tank. 

 

And that's why I need to be more aware.

The Payday Phenomenon

I don't know much about other economies, but I have to say that the economy in my town is probably unique to any other in the United States.

 

You see, we're the biggest military town in the world.  And everyone gets paid on the same days - the 1st and the 15th.

 

During PayWeek (either the first or fifteenth), we are the busiest city in the world.  For instance, the mall just opened and I saw a stream of people going in and out (on a weekday morning, to top it all off).  Next week at this time I'll hear crickets.

 

Seriously, people here spend all of their money in one week - and then do nothing the next week - and then spend it all again the week after.

 

Wild, eh?

A Thief!?!

Apparently my douchebag bar manager thinks I'm stealing money from the bar.

 

Why?  Because two days this month our bar sales numbers were low - yet my tips were strong.  Since I've been bartending, I've typically averaged 23-28% of sales in tip.  So if we sell $1000.00, I'll make $280.  Well, Monday was dead - we sold 1550 - and I made $427.00.  When I say 'I', I mean 'we.'  We split our tips based on the hours we were scheduled to work.

 

So what the fuck? 

 

Apparently, HE doesn't get tipped that way so I must be stealing.  Bullshit.  Garbage.  Crap and Dogfuck. 

 

The worst part of all this is that I can't disprove his theory.  Paranoia like that will always stick around - even in six months when he's still found nothing.  And then some busy night in the future I'll forget to ring a beer in and POOF!  All his paranoia has been PROVEN and he was right all along!

 

Bastard.

Oh Em Gee

I'm the worst blogger on the planet.  Has it really been months since my last post?  Thanks to breathethenexhale for the reminder...

Well, I'm still bartending.  Business is still pretty good - and they've recently passed a law in my city that bans smoking in bars.  My guests bitch and moan and, the faithful servant that I am, I back them up and tell them that I agree, and it IS bullshit that they can't smoke in my establishment anymore.

And then after hours we all sniff our clothes and note that we no longer smell like individual cigar boxes.  And our lungs are probably all the better for it.  

Girl and I are still doing well.  She's a lot more serious about this all than I am, I think.  Is that the way it always works? Someone is always deeper in than the other?  I'm thinking, "I'm 23 with the world ahead of me."  She's thinking: marriage.  But I love her and I know that I can't be forced in to anything - and she wouldn't try anyway - so I'm content.

Four more classes til graduation.  I took a practice LSAT - still not sure on the results.  That's a bitch of a test, by the by.  

Since last we spoke I've also been to Vegas (blasty blast!), been on the lake ninety million times...  oh, and had major AC problems.

If any of you are buying a home soon, this is good to know - there is a line that is connected to your indoor AC unit that takes the condensation that your air conditioner pulls out of the air and drips it outside of the house.  If that line gets clogged, the inside of your house gets flooded.

If you're like me and you just put down wood floors, those floors get destroyed.  And this is exactly what happened to me.  

Anywho, back to life.  Back to reality.  

Much love!

Jacked.

Right in front of my eyes, last night.  One girl seems to have, quite literally, taken a tip jar off the bar top.  Another two literally emptied a jar right in front of my face.

I don't know what I was doing that I couldn't see the jars.  Actually, yes I do.  I was taking care of people on a part of the bar that completely blocked out the jars.

But still.  How did I let that happen?  How did WE let that happen?  

This probably cost me about 60.00 - and cost all of us who work for and off those tips - about 200.00.  

Chump change?  Perhaps.  But not to the bar back, who works for 10% of our tips - or the busser, who works for 2%.  

My inattention to detail cost everyone money.  

That's a lot more upsetting than the money I cost myself.

"I don't want to be picked just because I look like a button."

I don't watch Idol very much, but I'm watching it now (a DVR's episode - so if some other genius caught this comment and has already posted the shit out of it, it's nice to see there are people out there as perceptive as me.  Just kidding guys.) and this girl just said, "I don't want to be picked just because I look like a button."

Clearly, one of the judges told her she was cute as a button.  And she thought they told her she was cute because she looked like a button.

I get it, I get it.  She's under a lot of pressure.

But it's still funny.

I don' like, I don' like, I don' liiiikkeeee...

Cocaine.

 

As bartenders, I sometimes feel like we're expected to throw more outrageous parties than the rest of the world - straight-liquor-and-beer parties really do seem pretty plain after spending countless nights making a living slinging them.

 

So our parties tend to go to a higher level, with more drugs and more alcohol than your average bang-up.

 

It's during these parties that I've begun to truly understand how I emotionally and mentally rationalize drug usage.  What drugs I WILL try, and what drugs I won't.

 

Coke is one I won't.  Actually, I stay away from drugs altogether - (Note: Marijuana is not a drug.  It's a plant.) - but I feel particularly strongly about white.

 

A huge bash I attended over the weekend simply reinforced the feeling.  Let me tell you why - and let me start by asking you a question.

 

Ever seen Scarface?  The movie did an exceptional job of capturing that look in someone's eye when they are truly, deeply, spiritually excited about receiving a drug.  The puppy-dog pant-and-beg gimme-please-please-please look that people unconsciously make when they are feening (spelling?) for something.  The clapping-my-hands-yes-yes-yes-yes-I-got-some look that people make when they finally get it.

 

Like they NEED it.

 

Cocaine makes people look like that.  Makes them look pitiful, needful, starving for something that is not ONLY unimportant, but is completely bad for them.

 

I mean, I get stoked when I buy some exceptionally dank weed.  But I don't ever feel like I NEED it.  Like my body DEMANDS I take it in.

 

That looks makes me sick.  So I stay away from the white. 

 

Ugh.

On the eighth day..

..got created the avocado. And he saw that it was right and good.
And he was deeply pleased.

So bored at work...

...that I'm posting from my cell phone. Actually, I write more out of
interest than boredom. I just opened the bar and my first guest was a
woman with an arm brace on. Without me asking (because to be frank, i
hadn't noticed it), she began to fill in the details as to what had
transpired to make her wear the brace. WHat followed was among the
most interesting personal accounts I've heard in some time delivered
in a stream-of-conciousness manner that would've given faulkner pause.
You really can't make this shit up. OH well. Back to tending bar.

So bored at work...

...that I'm posting from my cell phone. Actually, I write more out of
interest than boredom. I just opened the bar and my first guest was a
woman with an arm brace on. Without me asking (because to be frank, i
hadn't noticed it), she began to fill in the details as to what had
transpired to make her wear the brace. WHat followed was among the
most interesting personal accounts I've heard in some time delivered
in a stream-of-conciousness manner that would've given faulkner pause.
You really can't make this shit up. OH well. Back to tending bar.

Hard Times A'Comin'...

I make good money bartending, no doubt.  However, the following facts conspire against me to send me to the poor house!

 

• Electric Bill Balanced Billing DEFFERED BALANCE...  $1,900
• Air Conditioning Units (both in and out) need replaced ...  $3,000++
• IRS Tax Debt... $900.00
• Room Mate May Move...  -$450 to income

I'm a little bit worried. 

 

P.S. I did not realize I was 2,000 in debt to my electric company.  My advice to everyone is to pay more fucking attention to your electric bills.

 

Signed,

 

Douche Bag

Things I Hate

1. Guest: "What draft beer do you carry?"
Me: "Guiness, Blue Moon, Shocktop, Widmer... (continue long, extensive draft list)"
Guest: "I'll have a Bud Light."

2. Guest (I've served five times without tip): "How much is a shot of [Insert Top Shelf Liquor Here]?"
Me: "[Insert price of 7.25+ here]"
Guest: "Awwww mannnn... can you hook me up? Can I get it for 2.00 less?"

3. Loud-Mouthed Guest: "Where's my steak!?!?!"
Me: "It's cooking. Gimme two more minutes."
Loud-Mouthed Guest: "WHERE'S MY STEAK?!?!"
Me: "Okay. Give me five more minutes."

4. Guest: "Do you know how to make a Eukelele-Bruiser-Samstown Martini? As a shot?"
Me: "Never heard of it. What's in it and I'll figure it out for you."
Now Outraged Guest: "HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT THAT IS?!?!?!"

XBOX + Netflix = Genius

Microsoft proves yet again that it is not necessarily the power of the console that makes a winner, but the power of the connections has to get cool add-in's and goodies.  Take THAT, PS3!

I'm an avid gamer and am usually on top of the latest in tech news, but somehow this announcement had slipped my mind:  You can watch streaming movies provided by Netflix ON YOUR XBOX360.

No waiting for DVD's to ship.  Just click a button to add the "Watch Now" movie to your queue and VOILA.  There'tis.

Seriously, I signed up for Netflix again just because the service is badass.  I liked Netflix.  Now I love it.

Until the next technology comes along.  Then I'll cheat.

I'm a cheater.

An Account of Stupidity

Yesterday, there's three drunk guys in my bar.  Well, actually, there were more than that - but let's focus on these three.

Picture: two tall, broad fellows standing down one small fellow - with his shirt off.

The argument?  Whether or not the small guy was an MMA fighter.  To prove that he was, he'd apparently taken his... shirt... off...

I'm confused by what this might have proved, but am please to present to you another Account of Stupidity from your favorite bartender.

I am your favorite, right?  

What a Weekend

I spent the weekend in Austin with a VIP in our area while we both waited for my girlfriend and HIS girlfriend to finish up at a conference they were attending.

 

We toured the capitol, walked around Congress and took in the experience that is Austin.  I'm not used to the Austin area during daylight, so it was a very nice experience.  And listening to this (much older) guy was captivating - he does a lot of work with missile defense and such things for the military, and his job has taken him all around the world.

 

We had experiences in Europe in common - I was born and raised in Germany, and during the first half of my life visited Spain, France, Italy, Holland...  all but the EB countries - but when he spoke of Israel and Lebanon and Jerusalem, I was absolutely astounded.  It was nice to get a take on the world from someone with so much more life experience than me.

 

Afterwards we visited one of the top 10 steakhouses in Texas -- and completely on a whim.  The place we'd planned to eat had an hour wait so I, in a fit of genius, decided we should walk down 5th street and find a place that looked nice.  So we picked Eddie V's Steakhouse.  I should have known it would be expensive when I saw the valet outside, but man...  the 125 tab for two entrees, a side item and a drink ended up being totally worth it.  The blue's singer made the night perfect...

 

Which led to debauchery on 6th street.  Girl went out looking absolutely ravishing, as always.  Many and multifarious were the comments made in her direction - something I enjoy immensely, though I know several dudes who get mad when other guys look at their girls.  My motto -- if I didn't want my girl to be noticed, I wouldn't date a beautiful girl --  can't complain if others notice her!

 

Anyway, VIP paid for me and girl's hotel room in a posh little place where tons of people were staying for an Asian Commerce meeting... 

 

And after a helluva hangover, I went to work and made a few hundred dollars in 7 hours.

 

That's the best way to cap a day off! 

The coolest thing I've ever done...

Friend and I were talking about the coolest thing I've ever done...

And I think it was when I extra'd for Friday Night Lights on NBC.  I met a lot of famous people - who will no doubt never, ever remember me...  but I met Kyle Chandler, whose career has really kicked off since he began that series (with appearances in Grey's Anatomy and movies), all the hot cheerleaders, in particular the one who used to date John Mayer [my fav. artist] and is CURRENTLY dating Derek Jeter...

I was actually offered a full time job on the show as one of the football players, but I turned it down because of the "great" high paying job I was in at the time.

Of course, if I'd known I was going to be laid off 8 months later I may have made a different choice.  I wonder if I could have kicked a career off that way.  

We'll never know now, will we?

My Floors Look Amazing... and other small updates

I finally finished the wood floors and trim in my home and ...  wow.  I'll put some pictures up in due time, as I'm relatively certain they'll do little to affect any anonymity I currently enjoy from this blog - I mean, hell, I'm already using my first name.

Work is going very well indeed.  We've opened up the nicest new bar in town with a restaurant soon to follow and I'm very excited.  I really, really feel privileged to bartend here, and I think this pays off behind the bar.  As with anything, the more content you are the more successful you are.  Oh, and the money is fucking awesome.  There, I said it.

Girl and I have been at one another's throats a bit in the last month, but we're working on this.  She's planning a move in the very near (read: days away) future and I may have lost a large bit of my current income so the stress is really, really pushing us apart.  But I feel like we're together to help one another THROUGH stress like this and I will do my best towards that end.  I love her, she loves me...  so we can do it.

School is not going so well so far.  I've missed several classes already and am behind.  I'm going to spend the next week working VERY HARD to fix this, but I'm afraid that for at least one of my classes I've lost the chance for an 'A'.  We shall see.

So.  On to read your blog to see what's going on with YOU.

We Got a Braaand Neewww Preeeesident...

Sung to the tune of the country song, "Brand New Girlfriend."

How have things been with you, dear reader?  You're doing well you say?  Good to hear.  What's that?  You're curious as to how Girl and I are doing?  Well...

I don't post about her often because I suffer from closet superstition.  You know when you're watching a ball game and it comes down to a final, critical field goal and the sportscaster begins talking about the kicker's strong leg and accuracy and how he's sure to make the kick and the ball is snapped, the QB sets the ball, the kicker belts it one and it looks like it's right on and ...  it misses a foot left?

Can you believe I posed that long a question to you?

Anyway, that's kinda the superstition I follow.  When you say things are going well, fate chuckles at you and throws things in a tizzy.  Yes, a tizzy.

But I will say this much and hope fate does not stir the soup of my life with her meddling finger:  we are doing very well.  Spring Break is right around the corner and we have big plans that I'm quite excited about - I've had TONS of work done to the house, which she seems quite pleased with (no, she doesn't live with me, but we can't leave this town until my house is sold, so anytime the house is improved moods improve proportionately) - and overall we're happy with one another and where our lives are going.

So here's hoping to a long, happy continued relationship.

Now....  off to sling some drinks.

Love,

xxxx

I'm Not Sure I Appreciate The Implications of That Statement

A local sign reads:

"Organ Donors Make Better Livers."

I appreciate the pun, but I don't appreciate what this implies.  Time to go down that bottle of Bacardi...

YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME A-LIVER!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Parad0x No More

In future posts you'll see the author as James - that's me. 

 

I've decided that I prefer posting and commenting more this way.  Why?  Who knows.

 

So if you see comments from James....  well, you know who it be.

 

<3

Hospital Talk

I was rear ended yesterday afternoon.

On my way home, some jackass in front of me slammed the brakes for no reason - so we went from 50 to 0 in almost no time flat.  Unfortunately, the young lady behind me wasn't prepared for the stop, so she smacked right in to the ass end of my jeep.  All was well - except for the fact that her vehicle was totaled.

Unfortunately, I began feeling neck and back pains about an hour after the collision, so I went in to the ER to get checked out.  It was nothing serious - to be expected after a rear-end collision, in fact, and the doctor went off to write the prescription for Vicodin.

While he was away I listened to the jabber going on between the nurses in triage - lots of funny things, including one older male nurse singing the "Chicken Wings, hot dogs and beer" anthem and another older female nurse bitching about people being late for their shifts - "If they aren't here when it's time for me to leave, then I'm OUT of here.  I don't even care!" ... Another nurse: "I call bullshit!" - but some serious things to.

One conversation in particular that caught my attention was one between the admissions nurse and the older male.  "He's 23 years old with an enlarged heart.  He took five of these in an attempt to commit suicide.  He says he's tired of being sick."

I can't imagine being ready to give up.  Wild, huh?

Can't Waiiiit for Spring Breaaaakk...

The current question is whether to go to South Padre Island or to Las Vegas.  Vegas is fun any time of year, so to me the obvious choice is Padre.  We shall see, though.

 

The best thing about Spring Break's oncoming is the motivation it gives me to get back in shape.  My diet has changed back to that of a year ago when I was in great shape - and my exercise routine is twice as good, which should mean great results.

 

Among my many NY resolutions, besides selling my house and graduation (finally!), lies getting in the BEST shape of my life and keeping it that way.  Call it a lifelong resolution.

 

Further great news has come along.  Our company is nearly ready to open the new restaurant and dance club they've been building for so long, which means OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE MORE MONEY.  What's better than making more money?  Making even MORE money!

 

Anywho, that's my update.  THUG LIFE!

Wrong Impression

Our local newspaper printed it's January 1, 2009 front page with quotes from locals and former locals regarding their New Years Resolutions.

Overall, they were bland, which isn't to say they were without merit - but everyone and their mother wanted to lose weight, be a better person, improve the world and such.  In fact, most weren't in any way striking or original - save for one;  12 year old Danita's resolution was to "hope President Obama takes care of us."

Now, I grant that this came from a 12 year old, so the following may be reading too far in to her comments, but is it realistic to assume that her parents have truly been teaching her that it's the President's job to take care of us?  

And on a grander scale, is the nation under the misguided impression that it is the government's responsibility to look out for our overall well-being?  

I sincerely hope Obama brings change and hope to our country, but while he's handing out hope I expect him to make it quite clear that the government of the United States is not responsible for "taking care" of us - that it's our responsibility to look out for our own well being - and further, that if we allow ourselves as a nation to hand the government the job of taking care of our every need we will be giving up the very principles that have made our nation so great.

</rant>

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year my friends.  Here's hoping 2009 is the best we've ever had!

Girl and I spent our New Year at our bar and enjoyed a champagne toast at midnight.  Nothing too ritzy, I guess, but considering the amount of money she spent on her vacation it as necessary to save some money and stay in town.  Actually, it was quite nice showing her off after 10 days in the Florida sun  ;)  

I sincerely thought she was going to be the shit out of one of my new bar regulars though - because even after telling her I had a girlfriend she found a way of obtaining my number, apparently through a mutual friend.

Nonetheless, cooler heads prevailed - which is, of course, the right way to start this year off!